words in movies
Photographer: Great. (Takes a picture.) Great! Just give me a sec to change film.
Photographer: Now why dont we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier.
(Flash, the photographer takes a picture of Monica and Chandlers stunned faces.)
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Chandler: Before we go out there Ive got a present for ya.
Chandler: Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted this to be a moment you will never forget.
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
[Cut to Joey entering wearing a preppy tennis outfit.]
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
[Cut to the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table hes at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.]
Ross: Oh! Hello uh, Mona from her restaurant. (He uses his card to mouth those words.) (Pause) Mona, wow what a, what a beautiful name.
[Cut back inside to Joey giving a beautiful woman a tennis lesson by standing behind her.]
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Mrs. Bing: Dennis is a dear old friend and a fantastic lover.
Mrs. Bing: Oh yes, Dennis is directing a new Broadway show.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, thank you. Well if youll excuse me, Im gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. (Walks away.)
Mrs. Bing: Well, its a funny story.
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Joey: Uh, eleven, eleven and a half.
Chandler: Great, because my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor, can I borrow the boots from your costume?
Chandler: (looking at Joeys feet) Those arent eleven and a half.
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you very much! (She grabs a glass, takes a sip, and realizes what she just did. She then tries to spit the champagne back into the glass without Monica noticing. It doesnt work.) Oh thats-thats actually how the French drink it.
Monica: Yes! Maybe its a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
Phoebe: Im-Im just saying, dont freak out until youre a hundred percent sure.
Monica: You-you gotta take it now. Come on, do it as a present to me.
Monica: Oh, wait a minute! Whos is the father?!
Rachel: WhHey, I just gave you peeing on a stick.
[Cut to Ross at the kiddie table. He reaches for something and a fart noise emanates which causes the kids to laugh.]
Ross: Oh great! (They get up to dance and Ross is interrupted by a little girl.)
Ross: I wasnt farting! (To Mona) Uh, a little game from our table. (To the little girl) Yes?
Joey: No-no! No! No! You dont tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks Im a soap actor.
Chandler: But youre not just a soap actor. You are a soap actor with freakishly tiny feet.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
(A large little fat girl walks over.)
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Phoebe: Here. (Gives Rachel a tissue.)
Rachel: Oh-oh, thats a risky little game!
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Rachel: Uh...no. No, no, in fact, you're not having a boy.
Ross: I'm having a son. Um...
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Joey: (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)
Ross: I'm having a boy! Oh, I'm having a boy!
Ross: I'm having a boy! I-I'm having a boy!
Girls: Yes, you're having a boy! (Monica runs over and hugs Ross)
Ross: Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?
Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.
Roger: Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Chandler: Pheebs, were not giving you a deposit for our wedding!
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Rachel: Did you not get a good enough look the other day?
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Mr. Tribbiani: Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.
Ronni: That's a good one!
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel.
Ronni: (Shrugs) We'll go to a hotel.
Ronni: Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid.
Monica: Oh! So you think I'm a failure!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joey: Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap!
Ross: You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady?
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were...
Phoebe: It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.
Lecturer: Were beginning to see a lot of layering of sheer fabrics and colours. For instance a sheer navy blouse over a pink....
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Phoebe: Oh no, I am mad at you. I know that much. But, I am sorry about the fat ass thing. You actually have a very sweet little hiney.
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Phoebe: 'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Chandler: Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a...
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Chandler: Ok, I'm makin' a break for it, I'm goin' out the window.
Phoebe: But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little...
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
Chandler: Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV?
Chandler: Oh, what a crappy night!
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Rachel: Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.
Rachel: (looking at picture) Hey he's wearing a sweater.
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Monica: You know, it's a really funny story how this happened.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Rachel: Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.) I'm sorry!
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in, wearing a suit.]
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
Janine: Yeah, well youd be better if you just loosened your hips a little.
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Phoebe: (points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Monica: (brings a plate of tiny appetizers over) Here you go, maybe this'll cheer you up.
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon (the original, not that cruddy Urge Overkill version) is playing. Ross and Celia are kissing passionately.]
Ross: OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning...
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)
Chandler: This is great! (he presses a button on his intercom) Helen, could you come in here for a moment?