words in movies
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.
Phoebe: (entering carrying a skull) Hey!
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
(Joey comes out of the bathroom reading a newspaper)
Monica: About a half an hour.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting a cup of coffee and sits down next to Monica.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting behind a red drum set.]
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
Maitre d': Oh-kay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.
Maitre d': I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir.
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Monica: No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin you down. Everybody wants to be paid off.
Chandler: Hey, I can be smooth. (Walks back to the Maitre d', very smoothly) Listen, we're a little bit in a hurry, so, if you can get us a table a little quicker, I'd appreciate it. (Shakes his hand)
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Ross: Right, um, but, on Hanukkah, Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees.
Ross: (interrupts him again) Okay, it's not a contest.
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. (To Rachel) Ready? One, two, three, four...
[Rachel hits some tom-toms and ends up on the 'crash'-cymbal, which is in fact a ride-cymbal, but whatever...]
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Joey: Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! (He plays a drum-roll) Okay, what is it?
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Rachel: What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
[Scene: Halloween Adventure, a costume shop, there is a salesman behind the counter, Ross enters.]
Ross: Well, uh, do you have a Santa-outfit left?
Ross: I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you (Points to Ben) a Merry Christmas!
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Chandler: (entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo, and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence, I never thought I'd say.
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Chandler: But I didn't get to shape my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
[Joey enters in a Superman-costume]
Joey: (entering wearing a Superman costume) Merry Christmas!
Phoebe: Theres a skylight?! (Runs to see and yells from the bedroom.) Wow!!
Rachel: So what should we do? Should we start looking for a new place?
Phoebe: A little bit, yeah.
Phoebe: Okay, I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunnys funeral?
Rachel: Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby!
Rachel: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
Issac: Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the condom machine?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and a co-worker (Sophie) are dealing with the crisis.]
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
Rachel: During a blackout? He'd get trampled!
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
Rachel: You had no right coming down to my office Ross. You do not bring a picnic basket to somebodys work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger!
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Ross: Look, I dont feel like dancing, I feel like having a drink. Okay?
(Sergei insults Mischa, and they get into a huge fight, in Russian.)
Sergei: Uh, (picks up a plate) plate?
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Sergei: (picking up a cup) Plate?
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Ross: I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore.
Monica: So, if youre parents hadnt got divorced, youd be able to answer a question like a normal person?
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Rachel: You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like youve got a girlfriend?
Rachel: No. A break from us.
Phoebe: Ameri-can. Y'know its a very hard language. Lets do it again.
Rachel: Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
Phoebe: All right y'know what, nevermind! Everyone wants to have a green one! Im sorry, Im sorry, I didnt mean to get so emotional, I guess its just the holidays, its hard.
Ross: Fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yoghurt, or something.. (opens the door)
(Ross finds a clock, sees its almost 8:30, and silently screams.)
Ross: Umm, oh, hey, I dont know. How about a big one?
Ross: Well then a small one!! Listen, lets, we kinda have to get going!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Ross: Look, I didnt think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I thought we were broken up.
Ross: What?! Look, were trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other?
EDDIE: Well, not unless it's got something to do with dehydrating my man because right now I'm a dehydrating maniac!
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
[A montage of scenes from The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]
Jasmine: You did a bad thing!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joeys arm and puts a strip on it.)
Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, thats all. I mean, come on, its just a little wax.
Phoebe: For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.
Issac: Oh, hey, man I know, doesnt matter how much we love em, monogamy is too cruel a rule.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....
Ross: No, it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay?
Rachel: A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?!
Rachel: (seeing him) Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there.
Phoebe: Okay. (The car moves a few feet and sputters to a stop.) Oh, no!
[They all run to get in the cab, and Chandler pulls out a smoke.]
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Ross: Ahh. (notices the table) Ooh, is this a ah, is this a bad time?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
[Scene: Airport, Ross has headphones on, and is listening to a 'How To Speak Chinese' tape. Occasionally, he makes an outburst in Chinese in accordance with the tape. He is getting on the jetway. The flight attendant is there.]
Phoebe: I ate a bug.
Ross: Oh, now you want a favour?
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Ross: Well, oh, Im sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but Im a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay?
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
[Scene: The rest stop, Joey is making a sign.]
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
ROSS: Well uh, it's cause he had a thing with, wi-, with the thing.
Ross: (sarcastic) That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.
Ross: We were on a break!
MONICA: [carrying an ice cube tray] Ice, ice, ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. Alright.
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Joey: Oh what, wait, wait a second, I mean, what are we doing? Whos going with who?
Phoebe: Maybe we can like go to a movie or something.
Carol: Youre a genius, Ross.
(Chandler enters with a cigarette.)
Gunther: Okay, but only if you give me a drag.
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
(Chandler hands him the cigarette, and he takes a long drag.)
Ross: Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, cause thats not where you want to skimp.
Phoebe: All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men.
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Ross is handing Rachel a cup of coffee.]
Frank: Well, we got into a fight cause ah, she said I was to immature to get married.
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Phoebe: Yeah, Im a big surprise.
Joey: Yeah, or-or to get a hooker.
Monica: (to a customer) Pete, can I get you something else?
Pete: Yeah, a slice of cheesecake and-and a date if youre given em out.
Rachel: Well, that shouldnt be a problem. I mean I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men.
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
Chandler: (entering, carrying a briefcase) Hi.
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
Rachel: Hey Mon, lets give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable.
Rachel: Oh my God, Monicas gonna go out with a millionaire.