words in movies
ROSS: Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.
MONICA: Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast.
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
ROSS: If you wanna call that a reason.
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
JOEY: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.
JOEY: I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..subcranial hematoma. Perhaps we can discuss this over coffee.
CHANDLER: For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something.
CHANDLER: That's great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
CHANDLER: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
[Everyone takes a step back from Phoebe]
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
RACHEL: Yeah, well just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument.
JOEY: They didn't fight a lot?
RACHEL: I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
MR A: Phoebe?
MR A: Oh, that's all right, although you did cut into my busy day of sitting.
MR A: Oh, no, please, I spent most of mid-morning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear?
MR A: You're saying, my wife is in you?
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
MR A: Everything.
PHOEBE: Whoa, that's a lot of stuff.
MR A: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
MR A: [to Joey] Worth a shot, huh?
RACHEL: No, that was his costume. See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist.
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.
PHOEBE: Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. [Takes Mrs. Green's chin in her hand and says, in Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh, such a pretty face.
ROSS: No. Look, I told you I am not a part of this thing.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
MONICA: You're still gonna pay me, right? Or something a little less selfish.
[Wedding music starts, Phoebe noisily unwraps a piece of candy.]
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
PHOEBE: I know it's kind of weird, but I mean, she was a big part of my life there, you know, and now I just feel kind of alone.
WOMAN: You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink?
CHANDLER: [to an attractive woman] I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? [The woman walks away]
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
RACHEL: I had a wedding.
Rachel: I dont know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer, y'know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just dont want to be 30 and still work here.
Girl: Youre a big scrud.
Ross: Kinda like a big face without skin.
Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud.
Joey: (hesitates for a moment)Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, youre gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) Thats not how that was supposed to come out.
Ross: Whats a scrud?
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room.
(The camera zooms in on Sarah and she has a big smile on her face.)
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
[Theres a knock on the door.]
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Ross: (visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call.
Rachel: Huh. Well, y'know thats actually a really good idea, because that way theyll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)
Chandler: Oh, y'know what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?
Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet)
(A guy at the end of the table starts laughing.)
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Rachel: (trying to sound like a bug) Bzzzz.... I love you, Ross.
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
[Chandler makes a noise of absolute disgust and heads into the living room.]
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Ross: Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
MONICA: So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Chandler: Yep, Im in a tree.
Monica: I dont remember. Do you wanna take a walk?
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
ROSS: Well I guess you can start by drivin a cab on Another World.
Rachel: Awe! (Emma laughs) Oh my God! Looks, she’s a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization)
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Aunt Iris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, I am parked at a meter. Let's do it.
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Ross: Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Mr. Treeger:: No! Youre clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour unclogging!
(We hear the sound of a bed creaking through the ceiling, and him moaning.)
(We hear a women start moaning.)
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Rachel: (running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes?
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?
Chandler: Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. (answers the door and its Rachel again.)
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich�. Why don't you get a magician?!
Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco.
Mark: Hey, hold on a second.
Julio: Actually I ah, I am a poet.
Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)
Joey: Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part.
Monica: My boots in tan! Hey! Can you get a little closer so I can see the price?
Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
JOEY: You're blowin' me off for a monkey?
Chandler: Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier.
[a stranger enters with flowers]
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!
Ross: It's from Ross, it's a love bug.
Mark: Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.
Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!
Ross: Why?! How?! How is he a genius?
Joey: Mark's a genius!
Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Yeah, it's a vase.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Ross: And hes, hes a total stranger?
Rachel: A big idiot.