words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you dont feel that now. It was crazy! Youre fine. Youre better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everythings normal! Shes just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
Chandler: Honey, its 2:00 on a Wednesday and Im watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am?
Joey: (entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.
Chandler: Oh! Uh, yeah! Is this a cold pizza talk or a leftover meatloaf talk?
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Joey: All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but thats different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean?
Joey: You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Ive come up with a bunch of ideas!
Phoebe: Uh huh! If its a girl, Phoebe, and if its a boy, Phoebo!
Ross: Maybe. But it wouldnt hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? (Gives her a look)
Rachel: Okay! I was thinking if its a girl, how about Sandrine? Its French.
Ross: Huh. Thats a really pretty name for-for an industrial solvent.
Ross: Well, OK, its for a boy. Well, I know its a little out there, but Darwin.
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
Phoebe: I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at a Dead show!
Ross: Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher?
Rachel: But only if its a girl.
Monica: Boy, do I have a surprise for you!
Monica: I drew you a bath!
Chandler: Honey, I dont like baths! Could you draw me a picture of us having sex on the balcony?
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Chandler: Well, this does butch it up a bit.
Monica: I told you you were a bath person! Hey, when you get out, maybe I can give you a facial!
Chandler: Im going to need a bigger boat.
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
Rachel: But I couldnt even if I wanted to, because I dont know! I swear; I didnt see anything, and I dont want to know! It was just a momentary lapse.
Rachel: (holding stomach) Okay, a couple months late on the lecture, Ross.
Monica: (groans) That was a long night.
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Monica: Just a minute! (To Chandler) Thats Mrs. Tribbiani!
Monica: You just stay here! (Dumps a jar of bath salts in the bathtub)
Monica: I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago.
Monica: Its a humdinger!
Ross: Rach, I-I cant tell you how-how much that means to me! Ohh Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You-you hated the name Ruth! Why-why would you change your mind? Unless, you know were never going to have to use it. You did see the folder. You know its a boy!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Ross: Unless (Rachel groans.) You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, Im not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
Joey: What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, yknow? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I dont like about her. You want to hear it?
Phoebe: Joey, I just think youre getting worked up over nothing. This is probably just a crush.
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Phoebe: Mm-hmm. (To herself) Throw me a bone here.
Ross: Oh, come on, you know its a girl!
Rachel: A what?!
Rachel: Were having a girl?
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Rachel: Oh, yes! Well have ourselves a little baby Ruth
Monica: Yeah, Im going to take a bath. Im just going to get a magazine.
Monica: Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now youre just a girl in a tub!
Monica: She pulled it out of me! Shes like a conversational wizard! Howd it go?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Because its a relaxing and enjoyable time!
Monica: Oh my God! A friend hes looking at differently, but its wrong. Its Rachel!
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
Rachel: Were having a girl.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay?
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so youd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Rachel: Oh my God! Was she old? Does she have a view?
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but shes a tough old bird.
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Brenda: Ill be back in a minute.
Eric: Im sorry. I just when I look at you I see her. When I see her I get a little bit angry.
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Monica: Im sorry. Ive never had a maid before, is this not okay?
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Joey: I could use a challenge! Its getting pretty easy.
Rachel: I do too a little bit.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, Ive been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these (lifts a leg) damn boat shoes wouldnt keep flying off!
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Monica: Hey! Umm, I think Brenda needs a raise.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh no! I have to go! I have a massage appointment.
Monica: Heres the plan! Okay? Im going to leave you get a look at Brendas bra!
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Monica: Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on were a team! Were in this together!
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Eric: Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and
RACHEL: That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is wiping the coffee table and Chandler is trying to look at her bra and leans over on the coffee table to get a good look.]
Chandler: Brenda a bee!
Brenda: Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, but its wrong. Youre married.
Rachel: All right, I took them. But I figured it would be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch.
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Rachel: Its still(Screams)Its got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Ticket Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the boarding call for Flight 009.
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Chandler: You had a bachelorette party?!
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
Chandler: I thought we werent gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Yknow, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Joey: Its a grand tradition!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Joey: Oh yeah, that was a pretty good night.
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Rachel: This was such a huge mistake. I cant tell him Phoebe. I cant, I cant, I cant, I cant
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are reading a magazine and Ross is chatting with Mona.]
Ross: Yeah, a lot of my students do that.
Ross: Oh thanks. Although it kinda seemed like you were falling asleep there a little.
Rachel: No we werent! It was nothing! It was one night, senior year we went to a party, had a lot of sangria and yknow, ended up kissing for a bit.
Joey: So uh, you and Mona, been a while now. Hows it going?
Monica: Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight youre gonna have a bachelor party.
Monica: So dont think of it as a bachelor party, think of it as a a two month anniversary present.
Chandler: Honey! Thats crazy! I dont want you to get me a stripper
Chandler: I understand: who would cancel an actual date to go to a fake bachelor party?
Dr. Green: I just called a friend of mine.
Joey: Look, look lets pretend its a real bachelor party. Okay? Yknow? Before your wedding. Come on, itll be fun.
Rachel: Theres not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I are not getting married.
Phoebe: Oh, great! We couldnt keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while yknow, hed kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: And umm, vintage handkerchiefs yknow cause, people cry at weddings. (Starting to cry.) Im just gonna grab a couple of these.
Chandler: So shes a
Stripper: So is that a bedroom? (Points to the guestroom.)
Joey: Joey Tribbiani, a big fan.
Mona: I love your place! Where is this guy from? (A statue from the top of his apothecary table.)
Ross: Yknow this is actually not a great time for me.
Ross: Yes. Yes, yes I did. (To Mona) But-but it was, it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing.
Ross: (to Mona) Oh but not that way. I mean I mean Im not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend.
Ross: No! No sir umm, she means a lot to me. I mean, I careI-I love Rachel.
Dr. Green: Oh really? Thats how treat a friend? You get her in trouble and then refuse to marry her?
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
Joey: Wait! Wait! Maybe shes a hooker and a stripper, but she got confused about what shes supposed to do.
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Monica: Oh my God Stu! I-I cant believe you did this! Now are you absolutely sure shes a hooker?
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Monica: Shes a stripper.
Joey: Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.
Joey: In a minute!
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Ross: So your dad dropped by. Hes a pleasant man!
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Stu: No, shes a hooker.