words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you dont feel that now. It was crazy! Youre fine. Youre better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everythings normal! Shes just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
Chandler: Honey, its 2:00 on a Wednesday and Im watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am?
Joey: (entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.
Chandler: Oh! Uh, yeah! Is this a cold pizza talk or a leftover meatloaf talk?
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Joey: All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but thats different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean?
Joey: You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Ive come up with a bunch of ideas!
Phoebe: Uh huh! If its a girl, Phoebe, and if its a boy, Phoebo!
Ross: Maybe. But it wouldnt hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? (Gives her a look)
Rachel: Okay! I was thinking if its a girl, how about Sandrine? Its French.
Ross: Huh. Thats a really pretty name for-for an industrial solvent.
Ross: Well, OK, its for a boy. Well, I know its a little out there, but Darwin.
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
Phoebe: I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at a Dead show!
Ross: Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher?
Rachel: But only if its a girl.
Monica: Boy, do I have a surprise for you!
Monica: I drew you a bath!
Chandler: Honey, I dont like baths! Could you draw me a picture of us having sex on the balcony?
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Chandler: Well, this does butch it up a bit.
Monica: I told you you were a bath person! Hey, when you get out, maybe I can give you a facial!
Chandler: Im going to need a bigger boat.
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
Rachel: But I couldnt even if I wanted to, because I dont know! I swear; I didnt see anything, and I dont want to know! It was just a momentary lapse.
Rachel: (holding stomach) Okay, a couple months late on the lecture, Ross.
Monica: (groans) That was a long night.
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Monica: Just a minute! (To Chandler) Thats Mrs. Tribbiani!
Monica: You just stay here! (Dumps a jar of bath salts in the bathtub)
Monica: I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago.
Monica: Its a humdinger!
Ross: Rach, I-I cant tell you how-how much that means to me! Ohh Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You-you hated the name Ruth! Why-why would you change your mind? Unless, you know were never going to have to use it. You did see the folder. You know its a boy!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Ross: Unless (Rachel groans.) You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, Im not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
Joey: What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, yknow? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I dont like about her. You want to hear it?
Phoebe: Joey, I just think youre getting worked up over nothing. This is probably just a crush.
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Phoebe: Mm-hmm. (To herself) Throw me a bone here.
Ross: Oh, come on, you know its a girl!
Rachel: A what?!
Rachel: Were having a girl?
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Rachel: Oh, yes! Well have ourselves a little baby Ruth
Monica: Yeah, Im going to take a bath. Im just going to get a magazine.
Monica: Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now youre just a girl in a tub!
Monica: She pulled it out of me! Shes like a conversational wizard! Howd it go?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Because its a relaxing and enjoyable time!
Monica: Oh my God! A friend hes looking at differently, but its wrong. Its Rachel!
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
Rachel: Were having a girl.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Monica: Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking?
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
Joey: Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. (Tries to strike a sexy pose up against the doorway to his room. Then goes inside).
Joey: (in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.
Monica: Like a log.
Rachel: Im going for a walk.
Bonnie: So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?
Bonnie: Okay, Ill see you in a bit.
(Rachel walks inside, stops, and turns back to look at Ross for a moment then goes upstairs.)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, Phoebe is breaking in through a window.]
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Phoebe Sr: But umm, youre right. I think that a person should know where they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, (pause) ahh, (pause) okay. Im your mother.
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Chandler: (in a fake voice) Hi there.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Chandler: (to Monica) (in a funny voice) Hi there. (Monica turns her head away in disgust)
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Rachel: Oh, youre welcome a million.
Bonnie: (to Rachel) Thanks a million.
Chandler: No, actually Lauries a boy.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Phoebe: Yeah, well, everybody does! Im a really cool person. And y'know you had 29 years to find that out, but you didnt even try! Y'know what, you walked out on me, and Im just, Im gonna do the same thing to you.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, the-the three of us we were, kind of umm, a couple.
Chandler: I found a dried up seashores.
Joey: Whoa, wait, Pheebs, wait a second! Dont you wanna stay here and talk about it?
Rachel: I wrote you a letter.
Ross: Oh. (looks at his watch) Oh-oh. (takes a drink of coffee and resumes reading the letter)
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
(A wave crashes on the beach and partially fills up his hole.)
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Joey: Yeah, and Im a little tired from digging the hole.
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Monica: Nothing. Im gonna take a shower.
Monica: Well forget it! It doesnt hurt that (tries to take a step) baaad!!!!
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Phoebe: I cant believe you didnt tell me there was a suicide note!
Chandler: Ill give you a thousand dollars to talk to us.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! Its eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
Phoebe Sr.: Ill go in a second, I-I just wanted to tell you that there hasnt been a day where I didnt regret giving you up.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Ross: (yelling from the bedroom) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Chandler: We were playing Gin? Y'know if we were a couple, we could play this game naked.
Chandler: You dont turn and slide, you throw it out! Im tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!
Chip: (on machine) Good runnin into you at the bank today, so ah, heres my number, 555-9323. Give me a call. Later.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Ross: Well, umm, why dont you give him a call?
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
Rachel: Good! Cause Ive got a product report to read, its like eight pages, I hope I dont fall asleep.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Rachel: You mean the mom you met in Montauk. She was a cat?!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Monica: It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes.
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: Come on, you-you cant tell me you actually believe that-that theres a woman inside that cat!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]
Tony: We dont have 50 bucks, but would you be willing to trade for it? Weve got a canoe.
Rachel: (entering) You guys, youre never gonna believe what I just found tacked up on a telephone pole! (Shes holding a flyer.) Look kinda familiar?
Chandler: Y'know, I, I really dont think we need a canoe.
Rachel: You guys, theres a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?!
Chandler: She has a real name.
Monica: (running from the bathroom to her room, wearing only a towel) Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! (gets to her room and closes the door, as Rachel gets up to answer the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading at the kitchen table as there is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Shell be out in a second. So, Chip, hows umm, Amy Welch?
Joey: I took a shot.
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Guy: All right, you have yourself a deal. (shakes his hand)
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
[Scene: A street, Chip is walking Monica to his motorcycle.]
Chandler: Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon...
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Ross: No! No! LookHey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom. This is a cat! Okay, Julio the cat! Not mom! Cat!