words in movies
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Rachel: Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.) I'm sorry!
[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is typing data into his computer, he keeps typing even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand. One of his co-workers walks by.]
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.
Chandler: Oh, listen. If this is about those prank memos, I had nothing to do with them. Really. Nothing at all. Really. (Chandler tries to hide a rubber chicken from the woman.) Nothing.
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in, wearing a suit.]
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Ross: OK, ahem, hey, does anybody know a good place if you're not dating a puma?
Rachel: (trying to sound like a bug) Bzzzz.... I love you, Ross.
Ross: Her name is Celia. She's not a bug lady. She's curator of insects at the museum.
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Monica: (brings a plate of tiny appetizers over) Here you go, maybe this'll cheer you up.
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Monica: It's supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer. The French call it an amouz-bouche.
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon (the original, not that cruddy Urge Overkill version) is playing. Ross and Celia are kissing passionately.]
Ross: OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning...
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)
Phoebe: Oh! You have a window!
Chandler: Yes indeedy! (they look outside) With a beautiful view of...
Chandler: This is great! (he presses a button on his intercom) Helen, could you come in here for a moment?
Monica: (shouting on phone) Wendy, we had a deal! (Listens) Yeah, you promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! (hangs up)
Monica: You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... (Rachel isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an hour.
Phoebe: (overemphasizing) Mmmmmm! Everything smells so delicious! You know, I can't remember a time I smelt such a delicious combination of (Monica signals her to stop) of, OK, smells.
Steve: It's a lovely apartment.
Monica: Oh, thank you. Would you like a tour?
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Phoebe: Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?
Monica: Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. (Steve sits, Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one, quickly)... with just a touch of mints... and... (he finishes)... ginger.
Steve: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of them!
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.
Monica: You know, if you just wait another... six and a half minutes...
Steve: Oh, OK. (he drops the box on the floor) Oh, sorry. (When she bends down to pick it up he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the cabinet.)
Monica: Why don't you just have a seat here? (he sits at the table, then tries to secretly eat the Gummi-bears. Monica spots him.) OK... give me the Gummi-bears.
Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"
Monica: Why? It's just that I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this, and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet?
Joey: What a tool!
Rachel: You don't want to work for a guy like that.
Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.
Phoebe: You guys wanna try and catch a late movie or something?
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Rachel: Oh, wow! Congratulations, that's quite a waste of time.
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! Im really-really sorry about tonight. I dont know if Joey told you; I just couldnt get out of going to this play. Im sorry. Have a great time.
Chandler: So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?!
Joey: Yeah, shes been in there all day (Points to her room), uh high fever, a nose problem Phlegm! Phlegm! Phlegm-phlegm-phlegm!
Chandler: And I am not blah, I am a hoot!
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Ross: Wow! I didnt know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.
Rachel: I know, I know. I went a little crazy.
Woman No. 1: No. No, haven't seen a monkey. Do you know anything about fixing radiators?
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too!
Janine: Well yknow, hes blah, shes justshes very loud for such a small person.
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
Frank: YESSSSS!!!!! We got a baby boy!!
(They walk by a Pottery Barn window display.)
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
Phoebe: Okay then I dont have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
Rachel: Ohh, wait a minute, we havent pre
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Chandler: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
Rachel: We are looking at a Playboy.
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Ross: Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think Ill show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats a good idea.
(They go out to investigate, and find Joey wrapped in a blanket watching their television.)
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Chandler: A pharmacist. (Rachel mocks him.)
Ross: Uh, yeah, Ill take a coffee. Thanks, man.
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry, Ross. Ill get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, Ill toss in a free muffin.
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Rachel: Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.
Rachel: I am not a pushover!
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Rachel: He got it a flea market!
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
Rachel: Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?
(A good-looking woman approaches.)
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
Monica: Oh God, stop with the plan! So what, so what you saw him with a girl? Who cares?! That doesn't mean anything! Now look, you're going to go out on a date with Danny and you're going to be so charming he's gonna forget all about that stupid subway girl.
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
Monica: I dont need a tissue! Im fine-d!
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
(A woman enters.)
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Ben: That you and daddy were not on a break.
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Jill: Yeah but it wasnt for me, it was for a friend.
Monica: You bought a boat?
Jill: Okay, I bought a boat.
Jill: (entering, carrying a bunch of shopping bags) I just had the hardest day. Those bags are so heavy. (Sets them down.)
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
Joey: (to a customer) Are you all finished here?
Jill: Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Dont you want to rent me this apartment?" pants.
Ross: A little? Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue. Oh look at that! The ornamental bird cage! Large!
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I dont know if I want it because it might be yknow, too many memories!
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Ross: Ross, wants a pajmena?
Jill: Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug!
Ross: Its a rug. (Jill winces.)
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)