words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Bathroom, Chandler and Monica are sharing a candlelight bubble bath while drinking champagne and they clink their glasses.]
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Chandler: I've had a very long, hard day.
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
Chandler: Ooh! Ahh, Pheebs, was gonna tell a story.
Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hatI don't want to talk about it.
Monica: No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Monica: Rach, that's great! It's so good that you had a good time in Greece!
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
(He gets up and gives Monica a rather passionate kiss as Rachel and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.)
Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)
Monica: Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception.
Joey: (To Chandler) I bet it was about her a little.
Monica: You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him.
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Rachel: Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night.
(Gunther goes up to the guy and holds a sign that reads, "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.")
Chandler: So, thanks for having me over! Rach. (Goes over, grabs her, and kisses her.) Pheebs. (After a moment while he decides how to kiss her around her belly, grabs her and kisses her.)
Rachel: Oh God, I really had a good time!
Rachel: Okay. Oh, uh, wait a minute, y'know what? I uh, I can't decide this. Umm, okay, just hold on a second.
(She enters the apartment, leaving Dave in the hallway, to find Ross sitting on the couch with a big box.)
Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.
Ross: I can't catch a break!
Rachel: Y'know what Ross? You're not going anywhere. You're gonna sit right here. I'm gonna make you a cup of tea and we're gonna talk this thing whole out. All right? (She goes out to talk to Dave) Hey, Dave!
Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
Monica: (Poking her head in) Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
Joey: I'll kick that door in if you give me a little sugar.
Monica: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Monica: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
(There's a loud bang on the door.)
Joey: All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together!
Monica: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic (Phoebe gasps), in Central Park!
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I justy'knowstop it!
Chandler: I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group.
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little Y'know, it didn't have any It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!
Phoebe: Ooh, Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Who's plan was that?
Joey: Nooo, I said we needed a new plan.
Rachel: Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.
Ross: What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.
Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
Monica: You know, it's a really funny story how this happened.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Rachel: Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.) I'm sorry!
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in, wearing a suit.]
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
Janine: Yeah, well youd be better if you just loosened your hips a little.
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Phoebe: (points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Monica: (brings a plate of tiny appetizers over) Here you go, maybe this'll cheer you up.
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon (the original, not that cruddy Urge Overkill version) is playing. Ross and Celia are kissing passionately.]
Ross: OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning...
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)
Chandler: This is great! (he presses a button on his intercom) Helen, could you come in here for a moment?
Phoebe: Oh! You have a window!
Monica: (shouting on phone) Wendy, we had a deal! (Listens) Yeah, you promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! (hangs up)
Monica: You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... (Rachel isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an hour.
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Monica: Oh, thank you. Would you like a tour?
Steve: It's a lovely apartment.
Steve: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of them!
Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.
Steve: Oh, OK. (he drops the box on the floor) Oh, sorry. (When she bends down to pick it up he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the cabinet.)
Monica: You know, if you just wait another... six and a half minutes...
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
Phoebe: I could be a secretary.
Phoebe: (overemphasizing) Mmmmmm! Everything smells so delicious! You know, I can't remember a time I smelt such a delicious combination of (Monica signals her to stop) of, OK, smells.
Monica: Why don't you just have a seat here? (he sits at the table, then tries to secretly eat the Gummi-bears. Monica spots him.) OK... give me the Gummi-bears.
Rachel: You don't want to work for a guy like that.
Joey: What a tool!
Phoebe: You guys wanna try and catch a late movie or something?
(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)
Ross: And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed all over the crossword.
Chandler: Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.
Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!
Woman: Hi, were the Rostins. Err, Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Ross: A little.
Carol: Its a little complicated.
Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, shed be there.
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Teacher: Good. Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower.
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Ross: Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today.
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
(Joey lets himself in, carrying a large paper shopping bag.)
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Monica: Okay, he's a senior in college.
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Teacher: Lights please? And thats having a baby. Next week is our final class.
Soothing male voice: ..a sound Mom and Dad never forget. For this after all, is the miracle of birth.
Ross: Im gonna be a father.
[Scene 13: Central Perk, the gang is gathered around Monica comforting her brother, who in a slight state of shock is cuddling a cushion for security.]
Joey: A meatball Sub? Thanks! (he got a meatball sandwich)
Mr. Douglas: I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head.
Ross: I always knew I was havin a baby, I just never realised the baby was having me.
Nina: Do you have a sec?
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
(Nina puts her hands on her hips, then gives Chandler a quizzical look.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Monica: (gasps) We had a characturist!
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Rachel: Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious.
Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?
Rachel: (Like a big baby) Um... unless, unless I use yours.
Monica: I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Chandler: Hey, you're gonna be fine. You're one of the most caring, most responsible men in North America. You're gonna make a great dad.