words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Bathroom, Chandler and Monica are sharing a candlelight bubble bath while drinking champagne and they clink their glasses.]
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Chandler: I've had a very long, hard day.
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
Chandler: Ooh! Ahh, Pheebs, was gonna tell a story.
Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hatI don't want to talk about it.
Monica: No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Monica: Rach, that's great! It's so good that you had a good time in Greece!
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
(He gets up and gives Monica a rather passionate kiss as Rachel and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.)
Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)
Monica: Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception.
Joey: (To Chandler) I bet it was about her a little.
Monica: You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him.
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Rachel: Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night.
(Gunther goes up to the guy and holds a sign that reads, "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.")
Chandler: So, thanks for having me over! Rach. (Goes over, grabs her, and kisses her.) Pheebs. (After a moment while he decides how to kiss her around her belly, grabs her and kisses her.)
Rachel: Oh God, I really had a good time!
Rachel: Okay. Oh, uh, wait a minute, y'know what? I uh, I can't decide this. Umm, okay, just hold on a second.
(She enters the apartment, leaving Dave in the hallway, to find Ross sitting on the couch with a big box.)
Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.
Ross: I can't catch a break!
Rachel: Y'know what Ross? You're not going anywhere. You're gonna sit right here. I'm gonna make you a cup of tea and we're gonna talk this thing whole out. All right? (She goes out to talk to Dave) Hey, Dave!
Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
Monica: (Poking her head in) Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
Joey: I'll kick that door in if you give me a little sugar.
Monica: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Monica: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
(There's a loud bang on the door.)
Joey: All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together!
Monica: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic (Phoebe gasps), in Central Park!
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I justy'knowstop it!
Chandler: I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group.
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little Y'know, it didn't have any It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!
Phoebe: Ooh, Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Who's plan was that?
Joey: Nooo, I said we needed a new plan.
Rachel: Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.
Ross: What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.
Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
(A woman enters wearing a wet wedding dress and frantically starts to look around.)
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
Ross: Hey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
[Scene: The Laundromat, Rachel is fighting with that old, annoying woman for a cart.]
Ross: Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
[The next clip is the second famous fight in The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break.]
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break.
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Rachel: Hmm. (she opens the freezer) Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer?
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Ross: Im gonna go get him! Okay, I am going back in! (Squeals like a madman.)
Joey: Dont worry man, I get to bring a guest. Well show him.
Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard.
Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune.
Rachel: Oh... (opens it and sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
Ross: Rach, I got a message from you.
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . (She jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.)
Mrs. Geller: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
Rachel: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Monica: You dont have a car. And your license expired.
Ross: Pheebs, did you want a cookie?
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Chandler: (shocked) Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!
Joey: (pause) Ill never get to be a best man!
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Joey: Do you guys have like a big bowl I can borrow?
Joey: Oh, were having a big party tomorrow night. Later! (Starts for the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
Monica: What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come youre having a party and were not invited?
Rachel: Yeah! Im gonna have a boyfriend, youre gonna have a girlfriend
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Emily: No. Thats not what Im saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain.
Ross: Yeah, see, I dont think its gonna that difficult considering this one wont be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Monica: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (Its a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
Chandler: Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?
The Stripper: You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.
Chandler: (banging on the bottle again) Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, (to the stripper) so is the position of the bride.
RACH: Closure, that's what it is. Closure. [she looks around the restaurant, spotting a guy with a cellular phone] Hello, excuse me. Excuse me, hel. . . woo [she almost falls out of her chair]
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
Ross: Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life.
CHANDLER: And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Chandler: Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?
Phoebe: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Rachel: Okay! (Runs and grabs a book and hands it to Monica.) Okay! Here!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Joey: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.
Monica: Heres your tea Phoebe. (They give it to her and quickly take a step back.)
Joey: There was a ring, in a box, on my nightstand, after you left, it was gone!
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I dont need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
Bitsy: Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth! (Phoebe almost enters the room, but she hears the discussion and waits and evesdrops next to the door-opening.)
Joey: Oh thanks. Thanks. It was great meetin ya. And listen if any of my friends gets married, or have a birthday, or a Tuesday
Rachel: Well, isnt that a good thing? You said you were sick of this.
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Joey: Yeah, but what if he doesnt? Hes such a good duck.
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
Ross: Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.
The Doctor: Hes doing just fine, hes resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.
[There was no closing scene, only a preview of the wedding.]
Chandler: What a baby.
Monica: See Chandler? Im getting a lot of use out of them already! Theyre very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
The Doctor: (coming in from surgery) Somebody lose a ring?
Monica: Yeah, okay, give that a try!
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
Phoebe: Oh, have a great wedding!
Ross: Why-why cant you take a couple of days off?
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the hall, Joey says )
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
(Rachel runs a quick slant.)