words in movies
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Phoebe: Wait, am I missing something though? Cause I thought death was something thats supposed to be sad, in a way.
Ross: Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse?
Phoebe: No, just a barrel.
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Monica: Look at it! Ohhh! Wallpapers a little faded, thats okay. Carpets a little loose. Hardwood floors!!
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Phoebe: Thats a dog, every house should have a dog.
Chandler: (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?
Monica: I dont want a ghost.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Ross: Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
Lauren: I know! I-Im a big fan of yours.
Lauren: (laughing) Oh, youre so funny. Listen, umm, what are you doing after rehearsals? Do you want to get a drink, or something?
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, its the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
(Monica is looking on with a hurt expression on her face.)
Phoebe: Watch, watch. (She turns a strand of Christmas lights strung around the house.)
Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?
[A phone rings.]
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
Kate: I cant believe we go on in, in a week.
Joey: Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
Kate: Well, Adrians looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor cant just kiss her, hes gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know?
(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
Ross: Its a little early to be drinkin.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Chandler: Thats what you say at the end of a date.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Chandler: Thats just a lot of big talk, y'know.
Ross: Oh, fire! There, theres a fire! Fire!!
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
Kate: Nooo. And theres really no reason he should find out, so ah lets not make a big deal about it, okay?
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
Chandler: Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! (Joey begins writing a cheque)
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy.
Chandler: Hey Rach! Ah........ Perfection. (kisses monica) Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Monica: It's kind of a package deal!
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff.
Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Monica: We're all sorry... (They have a group hug)
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Chandler: Great, a faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless .
Joey: Hey! (he throws the basketball against a table again)
Ross: Uh uh... well, her Internet Company went under and she lost an ear in a boating accident...
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Joey: (still very puzzled) Oh, yeah... of course... yeah... it's a stuffed animal... you know... it's for kids... not for adults... I know that!
Joey: Rachel... let's be clear on this, ok? I do not love Hugsy. I like him a normal amount...
Joey: Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person!
Chandler: Oh good, 'cause I've already thought of 3... 4! I've just thought of a fourth (he goes towards the counter)
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Ross: Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
Phoebe: That was a test and you just failed.
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
Chandler: I don't have a page.
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
Rachel: (threatening Joey with a scrunchy): Step away from the crib, I have a weapon!
Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"?
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Ross: Oh please, hit by a blimp?
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
(Phoebe gives her a meaningful look)
Phoebe: Yes, it reminds me of a simpler time.
Joey: Hey, look who's here! It's Joey, and he brought home a friend.
Joey: No, no, it's not a girl, it's... a brand new Hugsy!
(they fight a little, the phone falls and Monica picks it up)
Rachel: Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Hugsy and I can't find it?
Rachel: Oh you know what? When I was a little girl I had a little pink pony named Cotton. Oh I loved her so much, I took her everywhere, I would braid her tail...
Rachel: Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those buys had a bet to see if he can knock you over.
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Joey: Oh my God! I didn�t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon
BEST MAN: What, (to Barry) you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. (gets a 'da-doom-chesh' from the drummer) Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel...
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Mike: Actually I've been playing a lot of love songs lately. I've missed you.
Chandler: Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya?
Chandler: Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!?
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Chandler: Well! We er..climbed up four flights of stairs, manueveored a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pitbul... but these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.
Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy?
Mike: It's just my first marriage was, you know such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
Rachel: Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Manny: I've heard the speech: (in a mocking voice) "if he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her... "
Manny: Well, you are not doing a very good job!
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
Chandler: (in a mournful voice) Please, come in.
Monica: I look like a man??
(Chandlers opens the door. A beautiful woman stands at the doorway.)
Chandler: Please, one ridiculous problem at a time!
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in)
Kori: We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him.
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window.)
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! (she leaves and slams the door behind her)
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Joey: (abashed) A place to entertain my lady friends.
Everyone almost simultaneously except Ross: yeah thats a great idea!
Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit...
Ross: No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.
Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki.
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Rachel: Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
Monica: I'm parked in a garage on Morton!
Monica: (smiling)That was a good day!
Ross: You're right. There isn't a decent outlet.
Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!
Rachel: She dropped off a casserole?
Ross: (mockingly)Yeah if only it were a sure thing like your 24 state lottery!
Monica: Hey that reminds me, I thought we could use some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work.
Ross: (mockingly)A psychic AND a wishbone? Guys! Give someone else a chance!
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
Ross: (interrupts him again) Okay, it's not a contest.
Phoebe: Get a room!
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Chandler: You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go.
Phoebe: Oooh, I like that, "daddy" (in a sexy tone)