words in movies
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Phoebe: Wait, am I missing something though? Cause I thought death was something thats supposed to be sad, in a way.
Ross: Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse?
Phoebe: No, just a barrel.
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Monica: Look at it! Ohhh! Wallpapers a little faded, thats okay. Carpets a little loose. Hardwood floors!!
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Phoebe: Thats a dog, every house should have a dog.
Chandler: (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?
Monica: I dont want a ghost.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Ross: Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
Lauren: I know! I-Im a big fan of yours.
Lauren: (laughing) Oh, youre so funny. Listen, umm, what are you doing after rehearsals? Do you want to get a drink, or something?
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, its the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
(Monica is looking on with a hurt expression on her face.)
Phoebe: Watch, watch. (She turns a strand of Christmas lights strung around the house.)
Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?
[A phone rings.]
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
Kate: I cant believe we go on in, in a week.
Joey: Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
Kate: Well, Adrians looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor cant just kiss her, hes gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know?
(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
Ross: Its a little early to be drinkin.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Chandler: Thats what you say at the end of a date.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Chandler: Thats just a lot of big talk, y'know.
Ross: Oh, fire! There, theres a fire! Fire!!
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
Kate: Nooo. And theres really no reason he should find out, so ah lets not make a big deal about it, okay?
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
Joey: (a little giddy) Uh, was that good for you?
Phoebe: Oh, you’re right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas!
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Rachel: It’s a standard issue bra clasp!
Joey: (contemplates for a few moments what Rachel just said) NAH! I don't have another level!!
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
(Monica holds her hands out for a hug, but instead of hugging her, Amanda hangs her purse on one of Monica's extended arms.)
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
(A blonde woman walks in. Supposedly Amanda)
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"
Joey: Ok, you're scaring me a little bit.
Joey: (He just sits there, legs very close together with a painful look on his face) Soldier down!
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Chandler: Well, aren't you a treat.
[Scene: A different spray-on tan center]
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?
Chandler: If she asks, I protested a little, but ok!
Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH!
Chandler: That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey!
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Joey: Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong?
Monica: You're a really good kisser.
(Ross's face is now a VERY dark shade of brown.)
(They both stare for a while, and then look at each other)
(They look at each other for a while)
Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this.
Joey: Ooh, yeah, I'm not going anywhere for a while.
Monica: That place in Vermont? You can take a hint!
(Chandler holds up a camera and takes Ross's picture.)
Rachel: We're having a party.
Chandler: Gee if only she were one and had no idea what the hell a birthday was!
Chandler: Yeah, ok. I'm sure that doctor's office can't be worst than on a class trip to the Hershey's factory!
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
Phoebe: Oh, COOL!! Wow, it's like a time capsule!
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
Phoebe: Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.
Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party.
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Monica: I've got a plan. I've got a plan. I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out and that'll wake her up!
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... hit on her?
Phoebe: Or you could stick a fork in an apple!
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Rachel: Yes! On a cake shaped like a bunny.
Monica: Oh, did you do a picture of Emma?
Phoebe (sees the cake): oh! Now it’s a party!
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
Rachel: Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they’ll copy it in icing!
Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon.
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Ross: (Into receiver) Hello? (listens) Oh no! What happened? (listens some more) Ok ok, where are you? (Grabs a pen and starts writing). Ok, I'll be right there. (Puts the phone down)
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm not gonna mess with Jack, he's a great man, he fought for our country.
Chandler: Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself!
Monica: No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
Monica: Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now!
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
Chandler: Thats a bear.
Monica: (She gives Joey a you-are-so-stupid-look) Ok, ten.
(Phoebe's bear takes the lead, followed by Joey's robot, and far behind is Chandler and Monica's dog, which walks a few paces, stops and starts barking, sits, walks again, and so on... )
Ross: (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Joey: Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the..
(There's a couple of seconds of silence. Then Chandler looks around...)
Chandler: I'm sorry, is this a game for Emma or for Monica?
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
Ross: Damnit! I'll put a candle on the cake.
Phoebe: (pointing at cake) Hey, you made it into a bunny.
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. It's just Ross and Rachel. They put the camera on a tripod in the kitchen and they are standing in front of the camera.]
The Salesman: Ohh, okay. (Laughs.) Something didn't quite add up there. (Ross stops, walks back to talk to the salesman, and in the process pushes Rachel up against a wall.)
Joey: What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis.
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!