words in movies
Chandler: I figured Id buy those. Pat, Id like to buy a vow. (Laughs)
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Umm, maybe you can start with, "Chandler, even though we were friends; there was a part of me that always knew I wanted more."
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
(Everyone screams and has a group hug.)
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Chandler: I've had a very long, hard day.
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
[Cut to Rachel listening to a phone conversation between Chandler and Monica in The One With All the Resolutions.]
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
Chandler: Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! (He does a little mimic of her dance.)
Chandler: Okay, give me a second! (Pause) Did you clean up in here?
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
Joey: I dont want them to move to a Volvo dealership!
Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)
Joey: Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If thats what you really want.
Ross: (to Chandler) Hey-hey-hey, when uh, when were we on a boat?
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, hes a transponcetranspondster!
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Monica: Phoebe, wait a minute! (runs after her, leaving Rachel alone)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Joey: I cant hear a word youre saying, my ears are ringing so bad.
Chandler: Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud?
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
Monica: Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Yknow what, itd be, itd be fun.
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Mrs. Lynch: Well, she was leaving work and she was hit by a cab.
Mrs. Lynch: No. Nothing. Imagine, if she had just stepped off that curb a few seconds later.
Ross: No, Im getting back down cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but shes like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away.
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Chandler: Really?! I didnt think girls ever just wanted a fling.
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, its been a long time that Ive been single. How come you never offered this before?
Rachel: Well, believe me, its been a long time since Ive been flung.
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
CHANDLER: Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank?
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Chandler: (he glares at him for a while) Yes.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Drew: Ahh, I just got out of a big relationship, Im not looking for any thing serious.
Chandler: Oh well, thats uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
BEST MAN: No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! (da-doom-chesh)
Drew: Oh, wait a second! I didnt say I wasnt free!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Phoebe: Hey! You guys, Im writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it?
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Chandler: Yknow what, Im gonna uh, play the field just a little more.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Monica: You want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Joey: Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that!
Ross: Oh, wow! I should get going. I-I got a date tonight.
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Rachel: Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.
Rachel: You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?! You dont tell the guy that!
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
Monica: Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right heres the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way!
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Ross: No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thoughtit wasnt that funny. So Im still torn.
Rachel: You dont tell a guy that youre looking for a serious relationship! You dont tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!
Phoebe: Umm, well I had a similar problem when I lived in Prague.
Joey: Yeah, and there wont be a relationship left to rebuild.
Chandler: Well, yknow, youre-youre gonna meet somebody! Youre a great catch! Yknow when I was telling all those guys about you, I didnt have to lie once. (He sits down on the arm of her chair)
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Chandler: Have you ever been with a woman?
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
Monica: You did a minute ago!
[Scene: A train to Poughkeepsie, Ross is asleep against the window.]
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Monica: Well if you want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Rachel: Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
[Scene: The train, its pulling into a station.]
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
Woman On Train: Oh, no. But its just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Alice: And weve tried everything, weve seen a bunch of doctors.
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are trying to throw cards into a vase.]
Joey: (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (Hes wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.
Alice: Weve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, we thought wed get a jump on things, yknow no ones getting any younger.
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna go take a pregnancy test, right now.
Rachel: Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody whos had a baby. Like your mom?
Rachel: Wow! I dont know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper.
Phoebe: Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
[Scene: The museum, Joey is giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.]
Chandler: We share a wall! So either hes great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot.
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Chandler: OK, is there a mute button on this woman?
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)