words in movies
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
Joey: Its all London, baby! Here we go. (He takes a picture of a less than enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls apartment.)
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Monica: Yeah, okay, give that a try!
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Phoebe: Oh, have a great wedding!
Ross: Why-why cant you take a couple of days off?
(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the hall, Joey says )
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Monica: They torn it down a few days early.
Phoebe: Okay, I have a wedgie.
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Chandler: Okay, wait. All right, thats it, okay, Im out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away trying to be cool.)
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think well be able to find a new place for the wedding.
Ross: Whoa-whoa-what? You found a place?
Emily: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.
Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]
Phoebe: And a small piece of chocolate.
Phoebe: And a glass of tepid water. (She gathers up all of these things.)
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Ross: I dont know. A month?
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Phoebe: Ohh, theyre having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasnt been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
Ross: Okay? But-but imagine a lot more lights, okay? And-and yknow fewer bricks, and-and-and flowers, and candles
Monica: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove), okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and (Points to Ross) You go.
Monica: Ohh. And I dont even have a date.
Rachel: (enters with a bag packed) Because Im going to London.
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
[Scene: Moving Shot towards The Waltham House. A phone is ringing.]
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
Monica: Ha ha, a joke thats funny in all countries.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Chandler: Joey, its been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Monica: (Looking nauseous from her parents kissing.) And Im going to go get drunk. (Gets up to get a drink.)
Rachel: (Looking through her purse.) Okay, you know what? I dont have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty. (She slides it across the counter.)
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast.]
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Monica: My mothers driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. Im happy. (A drunken man approaches.) Im not going to let anything spoil that.
Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
(Ross and Emilys parents are seated at a table. Ross is between them and they are discussing the wedding bill.)
Monica: Ohh, Please?! Im a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!
Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on, well just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".
Passenger: If youre planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.
Joey: Hold on. Hold on. (Picking up a note pad and writing and reading the message aloud.) Rachel coming. Do...Something.
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Joey: (With a confused look on his face.) What?
Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Passenger: (Frustrated he takes his headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! Im sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.
Passenger: You say you love this man, yet youre about to ruin the happiest day of his life. Im afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.
Passenger: Oh-no.(He bites his fist at her.)And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. (Rachel gasps and doesnt know what to say. He puts his headphones back on.)
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Ross: (Using a slightly different inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.
Felicity: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.
Joey: (In a New York accent.) Fuggetaboutit. (She giggles.) How you doin?
Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
Joey: No, but its okay. She just came in and gave him a hug, that it.
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Another Tour Guide: (standing up and removing his coat) Im Ted, and I just moved here a month ago, and New York really scares me.
(While Phoebe's bear is still in the lead, it is now closely followed by Joey's robot. Chandler and Monica's dog however, sits down, barking... and does a backflip.)
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Alice: Hi, Phoebe! We were just at the drugstore and we got you a little present.
Frank: Umm, its a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test.
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Monica: Hey, Rach, can you give me a hand with this box?
Alice: So umm, you feel like taking a test? Theres only one question.
Phoebe: (gasps) White Plains. Oh, it sounds like such a magical place.
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
[Scene: A Theatre, Chandler and Ross are there to watch the premiere of Kathys play.]
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
Joey: (Holding a turkey leg) Theres gravy?
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Chandler: Well, yknow Im 29. I mean who needs a savings account.
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Joey: I think I left a donut up here.
Tom: I'm gonna go talk to uh, a friend.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Phoebe: Thats a good idea for a business!
Joey: (to Ross) That-that is a good trick.
Joey: Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
Ross: Theyre not a couple!
Phoebe: I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the UN and, I dont know where his country is.
Chandler: No. No, see when I first meet somebody its uh its mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.
(They go get a drink.)
Monica: I think I need a drink.
Joey: Yep! Grab a plate.
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Mr. Waltham: In a moment, please, Im in the middle of a task. And you have a customer.
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
(Richard squishes a little too hard and some lands on his shirt.)
Rachel: Well, at least thats a great suit.
(He walks out and Rachel stares at his butt as he leaves. He makes a wrong turn.)
Ross: Here she comes. Dont say a word, okay? Just be cool, dont be y'know you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross still has boxes all over the place. Joey is wearing a football helmet, and Chandler is spinning him around in one of the chairs and counting.]
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
Monica: Good! Now, take those salads to table 4, (to the kitchen worker from earlier) And you! Get the swordfish! (to another assistant chef) And you! Get a haircut!
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
Joey: (Holding a magazine) Wow! The new Playboy!
WOMAN: You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink?
Phoebe: Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?
Joey: (getting up) Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! (He tries to take a step and falls flat on his face.)
Phoebe: Wait a minute.
Rachel: Yeah but, Ive never asked a guy out before.
Phoebe: He just got a divorce right?
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachels apartment.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
Ross: Oh hey, hey, huh, how about this weekend we have a laser disc marathon okay, and maybe a tournament on my new dart board? Huh, huh, what do you think? (in an Irish accent) Two days of darts, itll be great!
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
Ross: So the first time you ask a guy out, he-he turns you down?
Chandler: Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one!
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Rachel: Your company has a fine foods division?
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Ross: Well, if-if she thought they were on a break
Phoebe: (holding a lure) So now, what is this now?
Joey: (examining it) Ohh, a hunk of sandwich from last year. (Monica drops the sandwich)
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
Joey: Gettin drunk and going to a strip club.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Mr. Waltham: (entering) Rachel! Could I have a moment?
Rachel: How does going to a strip club help him better?
Phoebe: I know, you mustve won like a contest or something!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is in his sweats flinging playing cards into a pot.]
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
Monica: Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon.
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
Rachel: Heywhoa, slow down. (Gets a whiff of him) No, keep moving. (Joey runs off.) Wow!
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Chandler: They got a breakfast buffet.
Monica: Hes with Emily at a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont!
Emily: (rushing in) Ross! Come quickly! Theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Monica: He had to go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Monica: A couple of days.
Monica: What are you doing?! Chandler! You cant just go back a phase!
The A.D: Calm down, we got time, were running a little late.
Joey: Look at that, Charlton Heston eating a liquorice whip!
The A.D: Theres no way he smells, hes the only one around here with a shower in his dressing room.
The A.D: You?