words in movies
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Jennifer: Once and a while.
Conan: You still get nervous everybody just before a show?
Conan: But there must be, there mustare a lot of moments over the years where youre just trying to do your job, something goes wrong.
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
(Suddenly theres a noise off stage and the camera on Joey swings around.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Jennifer: (to Lisa) Operation. You had a fun one.
Conan: It was a little game. Yeah, with an electric buzzer.
Phoebe: Oh-ooh, and I brought Operation, but umm I lost the umm (It starts buzzing) Its making a noise.
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there.
Conan: Now you guys work with animals a lot. You had to work early on with a monkey
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One Where The Monkey Gets Away, Rachel is watching a soap opera with Marcel.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
David: For me, I have a hard time with le Blanc in particular. When-whenI mean when
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]
Matt: Thats a good one? (They both laugh.)
Matt: Okay, Ill just put a little more booze on there. (Pours some more on.)
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney and Matthew are getting ready to do a scene where Monicas sick.]
Conan: You uh, youve worked withThey always say a performer should never work with pets or children.
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Matt: (everyone laughs) And then it was like four takes later before we could get through it with a straight face.
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Conan: (to Courtney) You-youve worn a fat suit on the show. And, a lot of people love you in the fat suit. Do you like wearing the fat suit? Is it fun?
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
(David puts his napkin up to his mouth and starts laughing at his own line. Matt notices him after a while and starts laughing as well.)
Matt: It tastes like (mimicking him in a high-pitched voice) feet!
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
Phoebe: (spitting the cookie out onto a napkin) Oh, sweet Je(Beep)sus! Oh! Monica, these are the (laughing) cookies they serve in hell!
Conan: When you have to do physical business for a scene, I mean there must be; there must be a lot of funny moments when you have to physically do a task as part of a scene.
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
David: Pivat!! (In a high pitched voice) Pivat!!!
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there!
[We close with a bunch of scenes where they screw up and make weird noises. It finishes with.]
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Joey: Oh. That is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder?
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Emily: I wish I could know if youd heard any of that. I suppose Ive either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if youre listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose theres not much chance you did heard that, and theres the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
Ross: They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
Ross: I had a problem.
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Monica: See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something.
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
All: No. No, you're not a loser.
ERNIE: Oh wow, look at this nice deep hole I've been digging. Hey Bert, isn't this a nice hole here. Hey.
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Joey: Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain.
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Monica: Oh, yes, umm, Im here to pick up a dress that you have on hold.
Chandler: Oh, we had a lot of liquor left over from the Christmas party.
[Scene: Chandler's office, Monica and him are at a party his office is throwing.]
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
(Chandler does a fake laugh.)
Monica: Honey, Im not returning them. Okay? I mean I-I know they cost a lot, but Im going to wear them all the time. Youll see. Besides, I love the compliments. I mean, have you ever had something so beautiful everyone wanted it?
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is buying a muffin as Chandler runs in.]
Rachel: Wow that's uh, juicy. Umm, (checks watch) y'know what though Mon, I actually do have a lot of work to do so if-ifare you sure there's just not anything else?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
CHAN: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive?
Doug: Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweethart?
Doug: We're, we're just gonna get a little sip of water.
Chandler: You're not even giving them a chance!
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)
Ross: I uh, went to a bar. And then I just uh, just walked around for a while.
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Ross: Look, I don't have to answer your questions! Okay? I'm a big boy, I can do whatever I want!
[Suddenly the door opens and Ross's mystery girl enters. I'll give you a hint to who it is: OH .MY .GAWD!! Uh-huh, it's Janice.]
(They all turn and with shocked looks on their faces stare at Ross. Ross is at a loss for words at this moment.)
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Janice: So I'm asking you please, take a moment before you judge me.
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Rachel: Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.
Monica: I got it! (She hits a forehand smash that bounces right in between Doug and Kara and scores a point.)
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monicas nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Chandler: Coffee in a fight! (Does the laugh again.)
Chandler: Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
Rachel: Well, I was actuallyI-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.
Rachel: Oh! What a great way to earn some extra pocket money.
Janice: (starting to cry) You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!!
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Joey: Uh, yknow, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, he is giving Monica a massage.]
Ross: (entering) Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. (He holds up and starts shaking a )
Monica: That was a half an hour?
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
(Chandler picks up a basket from the table and puts it on his head.)
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
Monica: (entering, in a hurry) Guys! Guys! I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside.
Rachel: It's not a purse! It's a shoulder bag.
Joey: Really? A purse?
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Ross: Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, y'know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Joey: Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. (Removes a sandwich and starts eating.)
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Chandler: Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.
Chandler: And a date with a man!
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Joey: I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!
Joey: Well, first it's not a purse.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Frank Sr.: Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. (Gets up to leave.) But umm Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? (Hands her a note.)
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!