words in movies
Joey: (Returning carrying a couple of rusted lawn chairs) Huh?!
Joey: Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped!
Monica: I just told my Mom Id cater a party for her.
Monica: Because I need the money, and I thought that itd be a great way to get rid of that last little schmidgen of self-respect.
Ross: Come on, I think this is a good thing. I dont think Mom wouldve hired you if she didnt think you were good at what you do.
Chandler: Well, no, actually she uh, asked me if I wanted to get a drink.
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
(Joey makes a sound like a creaking bed.)
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
(Joey makes a sound imitating one person making a bed creak and Chandler turns and glares at him.)
Monica: Let me ask you a question.
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
The Salesman: Do you ah, currently own a set of encyclopedias?
The Salesman: Actually, Im not buying. Im selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though youre not really sure what theyre talking about?
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
Monica: I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. (Joey starts to nod Yes.)
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
Monica: (Looks at her nails) Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put (realises) Oh my God! Its in the quiche! Oh My God!
Monica: Okay ah, please dont freak out. Umm, but ah, theres a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and theres no way to know which one.
Monica: What? You bet Id lose a nail?
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Joanna: Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (Shes holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.
Sophie: Hi! I brought you back a macaroon!
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Joanna: (on speaker phone) Im really sorry but I may be a little while longer.
Joanna: A couple of hours, I feel awful.
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
Chandler: Okay, heres the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: This used to be your room? (She nods Yes) Wow! You mustve been in really good shape as a kid.
Phoebe: Well, who cares what your Mom thinks? So you pulled a Monica.
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Rachel: What if I clean your bathroom for a month?
Rachel: Foot rubs for a month!
(She closes the door and puts his tie into his mouth as a gag.)
(Chandler screams a little bit, then realises that he can spit out his gag. He does so with a Pouff!)
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
Joey: Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? Im home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess theres a few things you dont get from book learnin.
Joey: How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Rachel: Oh, I called them. And when they ask me what I saw, I can be very generous (Holds her hands far apart) or very (In a high pitched voice) stingy.
Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generations Milton Berle.
Chandler: And Milton Berle has a
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Monica: So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you
Mrs. Geller: (interrupting) A bitch?
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Monica: That really means a lot. Oh, and Mom, dont bite your nails.
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)
Joey: Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Phoebe: Oh God, Korea is such a beautiful country.
Ross: With such a sad history.
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Rachel: Me? Im great! Im fine! Im sooo good!! But, you know whos not great?! Men! Youre a man right Ross?!
[Monica takes a bigger spoonful and a pea falls off]
Phoebe: Youre in my office! Look, I have made a lot of cash for this company! Okay? I am talking big bucks! Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is blowing out a candle as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song as the gang looks on.]
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Ross: Hey, remember when I had a monkey?
[Scene: A hospital hallway, Chandler is sitting on a gurney with his hands spread out behind his back. Then Monica comes and plops down on the gurney and one of his hands. Chandler immediately recoils in extreme pain.]
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Gunther: (approaching with a tray with an order on it) Joey!
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
Phoebe: Ohh! We went to a self-defense class today!
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
Rachel: Yeah, kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of ya!
Rachel: Isnt that a kind of sushi?
Ross: No, its a concept!
Rachel: Ohh! I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now!
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
Joey: You cant make crotchless panties? You take, you take a pair of scissors and you just cut
Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian.
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey, thats actually a really good idea!
Chandler: I made a (Does one of those gibberish words.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. Its a twins study.
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Phoebe: Ohh, youre a freak!!
Chandler: Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for thisAh-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! Youre the worst best man ever!
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
(Ross screams like a little girl.)
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Monica: Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it?!
Chandler: But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
Chandler: Its a sock bunny.
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
(As they approach the kitchen, the door opens and in walks in a Joey look-a-like.)
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Rachel: Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.
Carl: (sticking his head back in) Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake?
Dr. Baldhara: Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns, you've got to give the little guy something. Otherwise it's just cruel.
Susan: No, she's at a faculty meeting.
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
Ross: Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Ross: Its a great class.
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
Ross: Besides, theres a big age difference.
Chandler: A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we so sure that this is a girl?
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Rachel: (on phone) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! (Hangs up) That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place!
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
Elizabeth: Uh, Im a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Elizabeth: (checks her grade) Oh, yknow what? Forget it, you already gave me an A.
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Monica: This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room.
Fireman #1: So uh, youre not gonna be able to live here for a while, you ladies have a place to stay?
Joey: When youre off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza?
Joey: Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
Monica: Oh my God! Thats great! Oh wow! (Hugs him.) Youre a published writer! I wish I had a present for you!
Monica: Wow! So, now youre going on a date with this girl?
Joey: (gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)
Chandler: Thats our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why dont I justwhy dont I just cover you for a while?
Dana: No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
Elizabeth: Oh yeah. So umm, did you have a nickname for me?
Elizabeth: Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Burt: (exiting from a restaurant) Dr. Geller!
Rachel: I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Monica: So its okay to date a student.
Fireman #2: It couldve been a hair straightener.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler is having dinner with Dana.]