words in movies
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)
Rachel: You-you're not wearing a jacket.
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Monica: Umm, why don't you give me something that would be a good reason and-and then I'll tell you if it's true.
Joey: (in a sexy voice) Yep! There's always room for Jell-O
Joey: Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, (snaps his fingers and in a sexy voice) Grandma's chicken salad
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Joey: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Joey: (entering from the elevator caring gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)
Dr. Oberman: Umm, I'm actually a first year resident, but I get that a lot, you see, I-I graduated early
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Rachel: Honey, y'know I just gotta tell you, I think this is such a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice.
Phoebe: Can I tell you a little secret?
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
Monica: Feeling a little better sweetie?
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Joey: (interrupting) Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an optionwhat's a urethra? (Monica whispers what it is in his ear.) Are you crazy?!
Rachel: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Phoebe: Well, I'm kinda on a clock here.
Frank: Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon, you couldn't just like do me a favor and like, like hold them in?
(A male nurse enters.)
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Phoebe: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Rachel: Yeah. So Frank, three babies. Whew, that just seems like a lot, huh?
Dr. Harad: All right, I need a clamp, sterile towel, and channel 31.
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
Frank: Yes, it has a head!
[Cut to the waiting room, a triumphant Frank rushes in.]
Frank: YESSSSS!!!!! We got a baby boy!!
Phoebe: I already had a baby. Leave me alone.
[Cut to the waiting room, a twice triumphant Frank returns.]
[Cut to the waiting room, a thrice triumphant Frank returns again.]
Frank: Chandler's a girl!
Frank: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
(They hug. And quickly that hug turns into a heated make out session, right there on the waiting room couch. Chandler, Rachel, and Monica quickly make their exits.)
Joey's Doctor: Would you like to see them? (He hands Joey a little jar.)
[Scene: A hallway, Monica and Dan are talking.]
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
Phoebe: Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies.
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Chandler: That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!
Rachel: It's not a big deal!
Rachel: It's so not a big deal!
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
(They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks)
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Monica: (threatening) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner.
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute?
Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on?
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Joey: Road trip! Yeah, we can rent a car! I just have to be there by Tuesday!
Mike: Ok, so it's a tie again, 41 to 41.
Monica: (in pain) Aww! (she holds her hand, moaning like she's biting back a scream)
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) You're welcome, sweetheart.
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
[Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.]
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Chandler: You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired.
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Phoebe: Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want...
Monica: I'll put a pillowcase over my head.
Monica: Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him.
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Monica: No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass!
(Chandler and Monica take a sprint to the other wall)
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)
Monica: Honey, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well!
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Ross: Can I talk to you for a minute?
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.
Joey: (long pause and he twitches a bit) You're a pain in my ass, Geller!
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Charlie: Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller!
Chandler: What d'ya know... It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.
Mike: I have a date.
Phoebe: You have a... You have a date? With who?
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
Ross: Do you mind if I sit here for a sec.?
Phoebe: Oh, okay... good. You do that. And then when you get home, maybe there'll be a special delivery package waiting for you.
Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.
Rachel: (nearly whispering) Ok, let's not make a big thing about this!
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Ross: Ah, yeah. We had a really good talk.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Joey: I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler.
Mike: One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Mike: Anyway, I just wanna give you a heads up.
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
JOEY: All right.� All right.� Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh?� (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat.� Then he proceeds to their bedroom.)� Bwa-ah-ah!
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Rachel: Wow! Well, clearly this is not a good time.
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generations Milton Berle.
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Rachel: Yeah, I just get a little bummed when my birthday's over.
Monica: I have a problem.
(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
Rachel: Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo related emergency. So I guess now it's your turn again.
Chandler: (trying to untangle her) Some of these look a little frayed.
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.
Chandler: Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
Chandler: There's a hair in my coffee.
Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
Chandler: (Picks up the "Miss Congeniality" DVD) She's an FBI agent, posing as a beauty contestant.
Frank Jr.: Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about. When we're in a public place, there are certain rules.
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
(Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.)
Joey: Yeah. Okay. (Goes to take a bite out of the previously mentioned bagel.) Whoa! (Stops.) I almost forgot this was on your
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
Ross: You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Charlie: Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little...
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
Phoebe: That's a, that's a long time.
(She gives Monica a big binder that's perfectly in order.)
Chandler: I mean, you have a lovely home.
Monica: Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm.
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)