words in movies
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Rachel: You have a roommate?!
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug!
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Chandler: No, Im not mocking you, (in a mocking voice) or you beautiful guest room. (Exits.)
Chandler: Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Rachel: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Monica: Well, its a set and they should probably stay together.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential roommate. And yes, shes a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
The Potential Roommate: Oh dont worry, Im not really a party girl.
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Rachel: No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Chandler: Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
Gunther: So I understand youre looking for a place.
Ross: Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Rachel: Yeah! Im gonna have a boyfriend, youre gonna have a girlfriend
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Monica: Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room.
(They run to the living room where Monica has moved the chair back (Towards the step), the coffee table forward (Towards the TV), and taped a square outline on the floor.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Rachel: Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
Joey: Thursdays clearly not good for ya, pick a day!
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Rachel: Uh...no. No, no, in fact, you're not having a boy.
Ross: I'm having a son. Um...
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Joey: (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)
Ross: I'm having a boy! Oh, I'm having a boy!
Ross: I'm having a boy! I-I'm having a boy!
Girls: Yes, you're having a boy! (Monica runs over and hugs Ross)
Ross: Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?
Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.
Roger: Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Chandler: Pheebs, were not giving you a deposit for our wedding!
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Rachel: Did you not get a good enough look the other day?
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Mr. Tribbiani: Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.
Ronni: That's a good one!
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel.
Ronni: (Shrugs) We'll go to a hotel.
Ronni: Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid.
Monica: Oh! So you think I'm a failure!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joey: Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap!
Ross: You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady?
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were...
Phoebe: It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.
Lecturer: Were beginning to see a lot of layering of sheer fabrics and colours. For instance a sheer navy blouse over a pink....
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Phoebe: Oh no, I am mad at you. I know that much. But, I am sorry about the fat ass thing. You actually have a very sweet little hiney.
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Phoebe: 'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Chandler: Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a...
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Chandler: Ok, I'm makin' a break for it, I'm goin' out the window.
Phoebe: But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little...
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
Chandler: Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV?
Chandler: Oh, what a crappy night!
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Rachel: Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.
Rachel: (looking at picture) Hey he's wearing a sweater.
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Monica: You know, it's a really funny story how this happened.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Rachel: Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.) I'm sorry!
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in, wearing a suit.]
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
Janine: Yeah, well youd be better if you just loosened your hips a little.
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Phoebe: (points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Monica: (brings a plate of tiny appetizers over) Here you go, maybe this'll cheer you up.
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon (the original, not that cruddy Urge Overkill version) is playing. Ross and Celia are kissing passionately.]
Ross: OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning...
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)
Chandler: This is great! (he presses a button on his intercom) Helen, could you come in here for a moment?