words in movies
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Chandler: Uh why, do you have a lecture?
Chandler: Then free as a bird. Whats up?
Ross: Youre not a lefty?
Monica: No!! Why didnt you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!!
Phoebe: Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. (She hands Monica a cookie in a plastic baggie.)
Phoebe: See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.
Chandler: Okay, we owe you a present.
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
Joey: I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.
Monica: You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Ross: Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Monica: You gave my father a lap dance!
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There there was touching of things.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Ross: Whoa-whoa, arent you a little over dressed?
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Joey: Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer pinhead!?"
Rachel: Well, does a good student drink seven beers during his first lesson?
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
Monica: Okay, heres batch 22. Ohh, maybe thesell taste a little like your grandmothers. This has a little bit of orange peel, but no nutmeg.
Ross: Lets give it a shot.
Phoebe: Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale?
Monica: No, just a Friday night.
(They all take a bite.)
Ross: Oh yeah! Batch 17 was good. I did not like batch 16. (Burps a little bit.) Im okay.
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Its left sweetie, but thats okay sweetie, thats a tough one.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Since Im here, I think Im gonna have me a little beer on the port side. (Grabs and opens one.)
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Joey: Greens? Im a Tribbiani! And Tribbianis quit!
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Chandler: So you understand, Id feel a lot more comfortable if you didnt tell people what happened. Yknow, Im a little Im a little embarrassed about it.
Mr. Geller: I understand completely, theres nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer.
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Rachel: Oh wow! (She takes a bite, but holds the sandwich vertically so that the stuff falls out.)
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Rachel: No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. Its a very big deal, theres a lot of people there I have to meet.
Chandler: Good! I havent smoked yet today, I feel great, and-and-and confident, that is a stunning blouse.
Ross: (stopping her from falling) Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay?
Rachel: But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready.
Chandler: (rushing in) Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!
Phoebe: Isnt there a national football league.
Rachel: (with a hurt expression on her face) Okay, but before you go, could you help me first?
Ross: Sweep, sweep....(He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)
Ross: (blows it) Sorry. Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
Rachel: Sophisticated like a hooker?
Mona: Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card. What do you think?
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Ross: (He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Ross: Okay, Im gonna get your coat and then Ill-Ill put you in a cab.
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
(He hear a duck start quacking, and see it waddle into the living room from the bathroom. Joey wants to know whats with the duck.)
Pete: Oh, youre welcome. (He takes a deep breath)
Frank: (hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. Its-its me!
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
Chandler: (to the duck) Okay, now when you come back I hope you remember that, that chick is not a toy! (He goes back into the apartment)
Chandler: Thats a bad duck!!! (to Ross) Howd the thing go tonight, Ross?
(They both look at each other for a while)
Chandler: Having a swim.
Joey: (stopping him) Wait. Give him a minute.
(Joey picks up and turns on a hair dryer.)
Monica: I need two. Im bringing Pete. My boyfriend. I have a boyfriend now!
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Phoebe: Like a date type (looks at Rachel) person?
Rachel: Okay, I need a date! (runs to her bedroom)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Here you go. You can wear this. (hands her a sweater)
Monica: All right. Honey, thats-thats a sleeve. Okay?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Ross: Yeah, Im gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
MR. TREEGER: He musta been sweepin'. They found a broom in his hand.
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Chandler: (entering, carrying the chick and duck) Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre?
Estelle: Ooh, what a shame! Because with her face (points to Monica) and her chest (points to Rachel) I could really put something together.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Lauren: I know! I-Im a big fan of yours.
(Joey steps in a picks up the paper, the gang all look at him.)
ROSS: Sweetie, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride.
Kate: Become a drama critic!
[Scene: Kates Apartment, Joey and Kate are returning from a night out on the town.]
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
Joey: Wow! Yeah I ah, I gave up a job too.
Kate: Yep! I sure know how to pick em, huh? Y'know I gave up a part on a soap for this!
Joey: Whoa. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
LITTLE BULLY: It's a nice watch, I don't wanna break it on your ribs.
(Ross reveals a bag of apples.)
Gunther: (bringing Chandler a cup) This is from the woman at the bar.
Ross: Im sorry. But ah, hey, oh, somebodys off the phone, how bout a glass of wine by the fire, I could get it going again.
(Ross is having a fit, about how calm Tommy is now)
Chandler: Ohh, thats a good one.
Joey: Sorry! Sorry, Im late; sorry, Im late! My duck and my chick and a fight, it-it was ugly.
Lauren: (whispering) She got a job in L.A.
Ross: (coming out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee, almost running into Tommy) Oh-ho, whoa! Sorry, Tommy. I almost spilled this hot coffee on you.
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See?
Joey: Wh-wh-whats going on? Wh-whats this about L.A.?
Rachel: Oh thats all right! Yknow, I ended up having a really good time. Yknow, the charity was a big success and they raised a lot of money and awareness.
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
Joey: (to Lauren) In a minute!!
Pete: Well ah, the short version is, I ah pursued her for a couple of months, then I gave her a check for 20,000 dollars, and she was mine.
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
Joey: Hey, wouldn't be cool if our duck and chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.
Ross: No, no, I mean, I mean a thing on my body.
Joey: (with a disgusted look) What was it?
Chandler: Was it like a sneeze only better?
Ross: Well what is it? Is it a mole? (He moves closer to them, and they jump back.)
MONICA: Leon, Leon. Shhh! Guys. Wait, I don't understand. Those steaks were just a gift from the meat vendor. That was not a kick back. I'll just replace them and we can forget the whole thing. What corporate policy? No. Yeah. All right. I just got fired.
Phoebe: Vince is a fireman.
(Rachel backs out with a confused look on her face.)
Rachel: Wow! Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building before?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Ross: At least they knew what yours was. Y'know, yours had a name.
Ross: Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, he clipped on, he said call him as soon as you get a chance, hes at Flimbys.
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking with her second date, Jason.]
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Dr. Rhodes: Well that's not a third nipple.
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Phoebe: Jason is not a sissy!
Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body.
Rachel: So were okay, were okay, were okay, (starts to exam Ben) arent we? No, were not okay, were not okay, theres a bump, theres a bump.
Monica: No-no-no, that's a video-phone. But hey guys you're not supposed to be here, so please, do not touch anything.