words in movies
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Chandler: Uh why, do you have a lecture?
Chandler: Then free as a bird. Whats up?
Ross: Youre not a lefty?
Monica: No!! Why didnt you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!!
Phoebe: Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. (She hands Monica a cookie in a plastic baggie.)
Phoebe: See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.
Chandler: Okay, we owe you a present.
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
Joey: I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.
Monica: You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Ross: Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Monica: You gave my father a lap dance!
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There there was touching of things.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Ross: Whoa-whoa, arent you a little over dressed?
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Joey: Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer pinhead!?"
Rachel: Well, does a good student drink seven beers during his first lesson?
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
Monica: Okay, heres batch 22. Ohh, maybe thesell taste a little like your grandmothers. This has a little bit of orange peel, but no nutmeg.
Ross: Lets give it a shot.
Phoebe: Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale?
Monica: No, just a Friday night.
(They all take a bite.)
Ross: Oh yeah! Batch 17 was good. I did not like batch 16. (Burps a little bit.) Im okay.
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Its left sweetie, but thats okay sweetie, thats a tough one.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Since Im here, I think Im gonna have me a little beer on the port side. (Grabs and opens one.)
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Joey: Greens? Im a Tribbiani! And Tribbianis quit!
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Chandler: So you understand, Id feel a lot more comfortable if you didnt tell people what happened. Yknow, Im a little Im a little embarrassed about it.
Mr. Geller: I understand completely, theres nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer.
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Rachel: Oh wow! (She takes a bite, but holds the sandwich vertically so that the stuff falls out.)
Ross: (to Chandler) Hey-hey-hey, when uh, when were we on a boat?
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, hes a transponcetranspondster!
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Monica: Phoebe, wait a minute! (runs after her, leaving Rachel alone)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Joey: I cant hear a word youre saying, my ears are ringing so bad.
Chandler: Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud?
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
Monica: Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Yknow what, itd be, itd be fun.
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Mrs. Lynch: Well, she was leaving work and she was hit by a cab.
Mrs. Lynch: No. Nothing. Imagine, if she had just stepped off that curb a few seconds later.
Ross: No, Im getting back down cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but shes like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away.
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Chandler: Really?! I didnt think girls ever just wanted a fling.
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, its been a long time that Ive been single. How come you never offered this before?
Rachel: Well, believe me, its been a long time since Ive been flung.
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
CHANDLER: Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank?
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Chandler: (he glares at him for a while) Yes.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Drew: Ahh, I just got out of a big relationship, Im not looking for any thing serious.
Chandler: Oh well, thats uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
BEST MAN: No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! (da-doom-chesh)
Drew: Oh, wait a second! I didnt say I wasnt free!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Phoebe: Hey! You guys, Im writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it?
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Chandler: Yknow what, Im gonna uh, play the field just a little more.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Monica: You want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Joey: Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that!
Ross: Oh, wow! I should get going. I-I got a date tonight.
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Rachel: Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.
Rachel: You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?! You dont tell the guy that!
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
Monica: Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right heres the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way!
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Ross: No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thoughtit wasnt that funny. So Im still torn.
Rachel: You dont tell a guy that youre looking for a serious relationship! You dont tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!
Phoebe: Umm, well I had a similar problem when I lived in Prague.
Joey: Yeah, and there wont be a relationship left to rebuild.
Chandler: Well, yknow, youre-youre gonna meet somebody! Youre a great catch! Yknow when I was telling all those guys about you, I didnt have to lie once. (He sits down on the arm of her chair)
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Chandler: Have you ever been with a woman?
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
Monica: You did a minute ago!
[Scene: A train to Poughkeepsie, Ross is asleep against the window.]
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Monica: Well if you want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Rachel: Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
[Scene: The train, its pulling into a station.]
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
Woman On Train: Oh, no. But its just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Alice: And weve tried everything, weve seen a bunch of doctors.
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are trying to throw cards into a vase.]
Joey: (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (Hes wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.
Alice: Weve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, we thought wed get a jump on things, yknow no ones getting any younger.
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna go take a pregnancy test, right now.
Rachel: Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody whos had a baby. Like your mom?
Rachel: Wow! I dont know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper.
Phoebe: Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
[Scene: The museum, Joey is giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.]
Chandler: We share a wall! So either hes great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot.
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Chandler: OK, is there a mute button on this woman?
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)