words in movies
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Chandler: Uh why, do you have a lecture?
Chandler: Then free as a bird. Whats up?
Ross: Youre not a lefty?
Monica: No!! Why didnt you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!!
Phoebe: Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. (She hands Monica a cookie in a plastic baggie.)
Phoebe: See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.
Chandler: Okay, we owe you a present.
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
Joey: I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.
Monica: You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Ross: Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Monica: You gave my father a lap dance!
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There there was touching of things.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Ross: Whoa-whoa, arent you a little over dressed?
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Joey: Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer pinhead!?"
Rachel: Well, does a good student drink seven beers during his first lesson?
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
Monica: Okay, heres batch 22. Ohh, maybe thesell taste a little like your grandmothers. This has a little bit of orange peel, but no nutmeg.
Ross: Lets give it a shot.
Phoebe: Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale?
Monica: No, just a Friday night.
(They all take a bite.)
Ross: Oh yeah! Batch 17 was good. I did not like batch 16. (Burps a little bit.) Im okay.
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Its left sweetie, but thats okay sweetie, thats a tough one.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Since Im here, I think Im gonna have me a little beer on the port side. (Grabs and opens one.)
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Joey: Greens? Im a Tribbiani! And Tribbianis quit!
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Chandler: So you understand, Id feel a lot more comfortable if you didnt tell people what happened. Yknow, Im a little Im a little embarrassed about it.
Mr. Geller: I understand completely, theres nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer.
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Rachel: Oh wow! (She takes a bite, but holds the sandwich vertically so that the stuff falls out.)
Monica: (running from the bathroom to her room, wearing only a towel) Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! (gets to her room and closes the door, as Rachel gets up to answer the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading at the kitchen table as there is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Shell be out in a second. So, Chip, hows umm, Amy Welch?
Joey: I took a shot.
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Guy: All right, you have yourself a deal. (shakes his hand)
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
[Scene: A street, Chip is walking Monica to his motorcycle.]
Chandler: Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon...
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Ross: No! No! LookHey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom. This is a cat! Okay, Julio the cat! Not mom! Cat!
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Joey: Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped!
Monica: I just told my Mom Id cater a party for her.
Ross: Come on, I think this is a good thing. I dont think Mom wouldve hired you if she didnt think you were good at what you do.
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Chandler: Well, no, actually she uh, asked me if I wanted to get a drink.
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
Joey's Date: Ew, yknow what? One time I saw this guy from behind and he seemed like a totally normal guy and then he turned around and it was Stephan Baldwin!
Monica: Let me ask you a question.
(Joey makes a sound like a creaking bed.)
The Salesman: Do you ah, currently own a set of encyclopedias?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, y'know? Vinyl.
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
The Salesman: Actually, Im not buying. Im selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though youre not really sure what theyre talking about?
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
Sophie: You brought a picnic, oh, what a boyfriend. Thats it, on Monday I start wearing make-up.
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
Joanna: Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (Shes holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.
Monica: (Looks at her nails) Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put (realises) Oh my God! Its in the quiche! Oh My God!
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Chandler: Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.
Monica: I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. (Joey starts to nod Yes.)
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
Joanna: (on speaker phone) Im really sorry but I may be a little while longer.
PHOE: No, you are not, you are very attractive. You know what, I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everyting.
Sophie: Hi! I brought you back a macaroon!
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe it's because it smells a little weird. It's like old pumpkins or something.
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: This used to be your room? (She nods Yes) Wow! You mustve been in really good shape as a kid.
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
Phoebe: Well, who cares what your Mom thinks? So you pulled a Monica.
ROSS: Hey, hey, woah, you want some of this, huh? You want a piece of this, huh? I'm standin here, huh.
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
Rachel: What if I clean your bathroom for a month?
(She closes the door and puts his tie into his mouth as a gag.)
Rachel: Foot rubs for a month!
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
(Chandler screams a little bit, then realises that he can spit out his gag. He does so with a Pouff!)
Joey: How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
Rachel: Oh, I called them. And when they ask me what I saw, I can be very generous (Holds her hands far apart) or very (In a high pitched voice) stingy.
Phoebe: Youre right. Youre right, hes just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! Im a sunny, positive person.
Monica: So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Mrs. Geller: (interrupting) A bitch?
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Phoebe: Oh God, Korea is such a beautiful country.
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably shouldve told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a ah, artificial leg.
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is coming to a close.]
Mr. Treeger:: Cause youre a little princess! "Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of Cats sing Happy Birthday to me "
Rachel: Im sorry. I didntI dont come in here a lot.
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
Joey: Im gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson.
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, gym member. I try to go four times a week, but Ive missed the last 1200 times.
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carry a large box, Monica is mopping the ceiling.]
Monica: Y'know they say a watched pot never beeps.
Joey: Have you heard about a little something called, Not Making Girls Cry.
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. No, Im a professional. (She starts to leave)
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Rachel: Oh Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
Monica: What a minute, what did he say?
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
Chandler: (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a Be strong sound.) I wanna quit the gym.
Chandler: Yes. (In a stronger voice) Yes!
Gym Employee: Okay, no problem. (To someone out of the picture) Could you come here for a second?
JOEY: Aw, man I'm sorry (starts rubbing Chandler's shoulder). This must be very tough for ya, huh (and starts comfroting him looking for a kiss).
(Ross is at a loss for words.)
Joey: Okay, relationship, boy this could take a while.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?