words in movies
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Joey: A year?!
Joey: Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Ross: Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Monica: So you're gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No.
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
Monica: Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Ross: Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.
Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.
Chandler: He saw a therapist?
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Mary Ellen: I thought you thought he was still a lawyer.
Joey: No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.
Chandler: Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Receptionist: Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly.
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Dr. Gettleman: Would you like a lollypop?
Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)
Mary Ellen: Wow, you're a lot nicer on 'Days of Our Lives'.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
Monica: So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo (sp?). It's just a little outside of Tulsa.
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Chandler: What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'?
Chandler: Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.
Ross: He's a brilliant diagnostician!
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Chandler: That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging!
Mike: I'm sorry, really, I'm so embarrassed. Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer...Apparently I'm not a funny guy.
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.
Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Girl: (Reading a book) Mommy, I can't find Waldo.
Woman: Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too?
Sally: Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent?
Ross: I am a single parent.
Sally: It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone?
Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.
Rachel: Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.
Joey: I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.
Chandler: Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Joey: Hey no-no-no-no! Its cool! Its cool! I-Ill only be a second, Im still with my brides maid, I justWhere are those condoms you brought?
Joey: And a couple of these little tiny boxes.
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
MONICA: Rose Marie really belongs on a smaller screen, doesn't she?
Joey: Great Great and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didnt want to make a big deal out of this, you know. (She starts to collect all the girlie stuff up.) You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
MONICA: Yeah, we switched meat suppliers at work, and the new guys gave me the steaks as sort of a thank-you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!
Joey: You're a dancer? She-she's a dancer!
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Ross: Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way!
Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
Eric: Oh umm, Im the solar system. (Hes wearing a black sweater with the planets glued on around the sun.) Yeah, my students helped me make itI teach the second grade.
Ross: Yeah, itll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Rachel: Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Monica: You! Its not like its a big deal! You-you dont still do it or anything!
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
[Ross makes a sorry face.]
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Ross: Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?
Rachel: I just- I dont think us getting back together is a good idea.
Phoebe: So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isnt it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
[Everyone takes a bite of their trifle.]
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Monica: Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay?
[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldnt believe it either" gesture.]
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
Ross: Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)
Rachel: Thats a good story, Grandpa.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
[We see a shot of Jack stuffing his face with food. Some dream hunk!]
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
Ross: Youre gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
(Gunther brings Janine a coffee)
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Ross: It was a dry day.
Joey: Did she just ask me out on a date?
Rachel: Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, Im sorry, but I dont think that was a romantic thing.
Rachel: Well, thats a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick.
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
(They move towards a platform, dancing really strangely as they go)
Janine: Hey! Youre a good dancer!
Chandler: Those are book ends! That's a great gift!
Joey: No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.
Chandler: (In a parent-like tone) Ill talk to them!
Ross: Hey, I know whatll get us up on a platform!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Joey: Uh, yeah, okay. Except I sorta felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready.
Ross: I dont know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
Joey: Listen, do you guys think I have a chance with Janine?
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Ross: Hmm? Oh, yeah. (he makes a growling sound)
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Monica: Its gotta be one of a kind. Yknow like umm, yknow uh, whats that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?
Monica: Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it.
Phoebe: Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)
Monica: (into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. (hangs up)
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!