words in movies
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Joey: A year?!
Joey: Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Ross: Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Monica: So you're gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No.
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
Monica: Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Ross: Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.
Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.
Chandler: He saw a therapist?
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Mary Ellen: I thought you thought he was still a lawyer.
Joey: No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.
Chandler: Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Receptionist: Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly.
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Dr. Gettleman: Would you like a lollypop?
Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)
Mary Ellen: Wow, you're a lot nicer on 'Days of Our Lives'.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
Monica: So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo (sp?). It's just a little outside of Tulsa.
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Chandler: What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'?
Chandler: Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.
Ross: He's a brilliant diagnostician!
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Chandler: That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging!
Mike: I'm sorry, really, I'm so embarrassed. Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer...Apparently I'm not a funny guy.
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.
Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Girl: (Reading a book) Mommy, I can't find Waldo.
Woman: Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too?
Sally: Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent?
Ross: I am a single parent.
Sally: It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone?
Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.
Rachel: Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.
Joey: I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.
Chandler: Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?
Phoebe: And a glass of tepid water. (She gathers up all of these things.)
Phoebe: And a small piece of chocolate.
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Ross: I dont know. A month?
Rachel: Why would you even want to come Ross? Youre a horrible skier.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, weve done it before well do it again, itll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.
Phoebe: Ohh, theyre having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasnt been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
Ross: Well, so, you-youll get a job here! I mean, Im always hearing about uh, them foreigners coming in here and stealing American jobs; that could be you!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
Rachel: (enters with a bag packed) Because Im going to London.
Monica: Ohh. And I dont even have a date.
[Scene: Moving Shot towards The Waltham House. A phone is ringing.]
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Monica: Ha ha, a joke thats funny in all countries.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Chandler: Joey, its been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Monica: (Looking nauseous from her parents kissing.) And Im going to go get drunk. (Gets up to get a drink.)
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Joey: Uh, y'know what, were having second thoughts about our copying needs. And well need a little more time to think about it.
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast.]
Phoebe: Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
Monica: My mothers driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. Im happy. (A drunken man approaches.) Im not going to let anything spoil that.
Gym Employee: (to Ross) So, are you a member of any gym.
Monica: Ohh, Please?! Im a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!
Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on, well just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".
Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
Monica: That really means a lot. Oh, and Mom, dont bite your nails.
Ross: It gives it a nice antiquey look.
Passenger: If youre planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
(Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.)
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Joey: Hold on. Hold on. (Picking up a note pad and writing and reading the message aloud.) Rachel coming. Do...Something.
Joey: (With a confused look on his face.) What?
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
Passenger: (Frustrated he takes his headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! Im sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.
Passenger: You say you love this man, yet youre about to ruin the happiest day of his life. Im afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Joey: (In a New York accent.) Fuggetaboutit. (She giggles.) How you doin?
Phoebe: Fine, all right, mine had a dwarf that got broke in half, but y'know whatever.
Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Felicity: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.
Rachel: Oh. (starts shaking the sugar down in a packet really hard.)
Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that wouldve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
Joey: No, but its okay. She just came in and gave him a hug, that it.
Kathy: I'm sorry, it's just this Ernie Cofax thing on in a few minutes I wanted to watch.
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Janine: I just got a call to be a dancer on a television special for New Years Eve. Its called some sort of Dickn Rockn Dickie Eve.
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
Chandler: Well, I dont see that we have a choice. But, when were back home, we dont do it.
Chandler: In a foreign, romantic country
Chandler: The mans got a point.
Joey: Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh?
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Joey: It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
Joey: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!
Chandler: Well, Ive got a girl in here.
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]
Chandler: Yeah, its a very large plane.
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
Ross: Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?
Chandler: No, I almost did, couldnt leave Ross there without a spotter!
Monica: Im gonna go to the bathroom, maybe Ill see you there in a bit?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.
Richard: No I dont have a ring! (Pause) You go get her Chandler. (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
Joey: Hey, Monica, wow youve been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.
DR. BURKE: No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Chandler: Oh. Yknow, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasnt because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me cause, youre really hot! Is that okay?
Rachel: No, youre not an idiot, Ross. Youre a guy very much in love.
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Ross: No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Bathroom, Chandler and Monica are sharing a candlelight bubble bath while drinking champagne and they clink their glasses.]
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Chandler: I've had a very long, hard day.
Rachel: Okay, Ill see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here.
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)