words in movies
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Joey: A year?!
Joey: Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Ross: Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Monica: So you're gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No.
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
Monica: Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Ross: Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.
Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.
Chandler: He saw a therapist?
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Mary Ellen: I thought you thought he was still a lawyer.
Joey: No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.
Chandler: Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Receptionist: Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly.
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Dr. Gettleman: Would you like a lollypop?
Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)
Mary Ellen: Wow, you're a lot nicer on 'Days of Our Lives'.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
Monica: So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo (sp?). It's just a little outside of Tulsa.
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Chandler: What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'?
Chandler: Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.
Ross: He's a brilliant diagnostician!
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Chandler: That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging!
Mike: I'm sorry, really, I'm so embarrassed. Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer...Apparently I'm not a funny guy.
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.
Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Girl: (Reading a book) Mommy, I can't find Waldo.
Woman: Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too?
Sally: Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent?
Ross: I am a single parent.
Sally: It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone?
Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.
Rachel: Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.
Joey: I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.
Chandler: Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?
Chandler: Oh! Thanks, I'm crazy about our place. Hey! speaking of crazy... do you have a history of mental illness in the family?
Zack: You guys have such a great place here.
Zack: You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh?
Zack: Ok. I heard a joke today. It's pretty funny...
Zack: (after a pause, very confused) No...
Zack: Ok listen, you guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight and I'm flattered and... and quite frankly a little frightened. Can we just talk about something else?
Chandler: I noticed you were enjoying that Ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth. Did you have braces as a child?
Monica: Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?
Rachel: (after a pause) Yeah.
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the sofa, eating a cookie.]
(Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey)
Molly: There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse.
Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.
(Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out)
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
David: Do you wanna get a drink?
Charlie: There's a third guy?
Chandler: You sure you don't wanna stick around a little longer?
Chandler: Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression.
Monica: Don't worry, after a while he'll tune it out.
Chandler: Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking!
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Joey: Im a doctor Cliff, not a mathematician.
Phoebe: I think David would probably wanna hear a few lectures.
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Woman: I would love your autograph. (hands him a notepad)
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Woman: Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan!
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Joey: No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives".
Monica: Alright, I'm gonna go pick up a few things for the trip.
Sarah: I'm sorry, I don't own a TV.
Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
Phoebe: That's right! Oh, yeah... Well, I've totally forgotten about im! AH! That's-That's... a blast from the past!
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)
David: (after a while) How do you think I should propose?
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Phoebe: Mm-hmm. (To herself) Throw me a bone here.
Monica: But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. (Phone rings)
Joey: Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong?
Joey: (smiling) Will you wear a thong?
Joey: Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal!
Ross: (a little embarassed by their conversation) I'm good, I have dinner plans (moves away from them).
David: Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right?
Chandler: I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
Monica: Ok! When I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, ok?!
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed!
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!
David: So, ehm... I'm proposing to Pheobe tonight. (Removes a ring box from his pocket and opens it to show Chandler the ring)
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
Chandler: It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive.
Chandler: Well, it didn't say "This is a virus"!!
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Ross: Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament!
Joey: A widower.
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Janine: Australia, I just moved here a couple of weeks ago.
Joey: Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention?
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"
Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter.
Rachel: (takes a sip from her drink, embarassed) No.
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Charlie: I had a great time.
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
[Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table]
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
ROSS: Really? I mean, I, I had a whole speach prepared.
Mike: I have a question I need to ask you.
David: I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself.
Phoebe: Oh, you're a paleonthologist, too! (pause) Oh, ok, now, what do you think of Ranion's new theory of species' variegation in segmented arthopods?
David: I have a ring.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring...
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandler's table)
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.
Monica: Who do you think would win in a fight, Catwoman or Supergirl?
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?