words in movies
Phoebe: oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.
Phoebe: oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market.
Phoebe: yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen.
Phoebe: I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me.
Phoebe: I wanna get married (grabs a tissue)
Ross: do you have a compact in your purse?
Monica:: maybe I will go (thinks) yea will have a second honeymoon at the Tulsa romana.
Hayley: no that's just where you were going I just figured that I'd help you out, you don't seem like the kind of guy that does this very a lot.
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
Phoebe: well you not what you should feel terrible about, this could have been my serious guy he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?
Ross: We are a rare breed.
Hayley: what a great dinner.
(Hayley laughs and goes into the kitchen thinking it's a joke, Joey doesn't see what's so funny about it)
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Mike: hey wait wait wait wait wait! Is that true what you said Phoebe's never had a serious relationship?
Ross: of course she has. if she'd never had a serious relationship I'd go round broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron.
Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.
Ross: WHAT THAT'S A REAL NAME!
-Cuts to Monica (She's just arrived outside his room she fixes a bent photo hanging on the wall then sprays mint in her mouth and enter)
Chandler: everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming around thinking Chandler was giving himself a treat to sharks.)
Monica:: yea well the weird part is... he was getting off to a shark attack show!
Monica:: what means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws!
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
(Monica makes a strange face and sits down)
Joey: HEY! I never have an off night ok although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I'M BETTER THEN MOST!
Joey: No. (Pause) wait a minute what was the little mermaid?
Ross: umm. that you had a six year long relationship with a guy named Vicrum.
Ross: well he seemed to bum hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship.
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
Hayley: so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest.
Joey: come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was (thinks) a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex (starts pointing out the places) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?
Mike: But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross
Mike: that is so wrong and on top of that his a glue sniffer.
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Phoebe: so you don't think I'm a total freak
Phoebe: I guess so, can I. can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again (they get closer to kiss and Phoebe pulls back) and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers.
[Scene: Chandler arrives home and Monica's got a video of Sharks ready for Chandler.]
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Chandler: (Chandler looking confused) Honey why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around.
Monica:: Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier.
Monica:: sweetie it's ok, I still love you, let me be a part of this.
Chandler: let ME be a part of this!
Monica:: then why were you watching them and giving YOURSELF a treat.
Joey: (looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Phoebe: (seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.
Ross: He can hold a banana, if that's whatcha mean...
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
All: Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
(Joey enters from behind a curtain. The others all talk at once.)
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
Phoebe: (reading Monica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Monica: Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this?
Ross: Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Ross: Well... (realizes, screaming like a little girl, trying to get rid of the spider) Whaa... aaah... aaahhh...
[Scene: A Film Set, Joey is entering for his scene.]
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Monica: I think it's a great idea. Yeah, we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends.
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
Phoebe: Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights go out) OK, thank you very much.
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
Monica: OK, I'll go. OK, senior year of college... on a pool table.
Monica: Oh my God! What were you doing in a library?
Ross: Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.'
Joey: We have a winner!
Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
Ross: I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Ross: You come out there, you're a dead man.
Ross: OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! (a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross)
Ross: OK. Here goes. For a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
Phoebe: Wait a minute. What's his name?
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
Phoebe: (the cat runs away from her) Oooh! You are a very bad man!
(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)
Ross: No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
Ross: Listen. Um, listen. Something you should... know... um, Rachel and I... we're kind of a thing.
Ross: So you do know a little English.
Jill: Ready? (she swings the pen around her head in a circle)
Sandy: Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best.
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break. Shelley enters.) Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going?
Chandler: He's a he?
Shelley: Do you want a date Saturday?
Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?
All: Yes. Absolutely. A quality.
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover.
Aunt Lillian: The doctor says it's a matter of hours.
Monica: Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality.
Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.
Monica: We checked. A lot.
Rachel: Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil)
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
(He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.)
Phoebe: (stops at a door) Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right?
Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs!
Mr. Geller: C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch...
Shelley: Well, I think Brian's a little out of your league.
Chandler: Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not.
(They open a cupboard which, amongst other things, contains a chest of drawers)
Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?
Mrs. Geller: That's really a day shoe.
Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back.
Ross: Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair)
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
Chandler: You're watching a football game at a funeral?
Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.
Monica: It was a really beautiful service.
Phoebe: God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise!
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
Andrea: (turns to a friend) You were right. (They walk off and leave Chandler.)
Chandler: Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'...
Rachel: (still trapped under Ross) Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker?
(Time lapse. A large crowd of men are now watching the game)