words in movies
Monica: Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal.
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
Chandler: Not a one.
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling.
Ross: Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.
Rachel: It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.
(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)
(Angela takes a seat at the counter.)
Angela: That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs.
Ross: Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too?
Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
Ross: Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there, meeting Angela and Bob, who Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
Phoebe: Ok, have a good break-up.
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.
Ross: Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent.
(Ross pulls out a huge box of laundry detergent.)
Rachel: Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?
Rachel: Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.
Ross: Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.
Rachel: (holds a pair of panties in front of Ross) Ok, Well, what about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates?
Ross: (visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call.
Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.
Monica: It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
Ross: (not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry!
Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.
Joey: All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Phoebe: It's like a gift.
Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Phoebe: (seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.
Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
Chandler: Arent you just a tinsy bit curious?
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
Ross: Yeah, how does Jason look in a v-neck?
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
Chandler: Youre not, what do you, what do you got a bionic foot?
MONICA: Did she leave a number?
ROSS: Well, she'll call back, don't be such a baby.
MONICA: I'm not a baby, you're the baby.
Pete: Her names Ann, shes a journalist. Ahh, we met on the plane. She asked me if she could finish off my peanuts, I thought she said something else, we had a big laugh. Yeah, I just, I mean I got, I got tired of waiting.
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt... but not a mom, never a mom!
CHANDLER: Well you know, we got to talking and uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.
JOEY: Oh, now it's a spare room?
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
RACHEL: It'll never last, he's just a rebound roommate.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
EDDIE: I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
JOEY: [sings] It may not be a bed of roses.
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
CHANDLER: Ah he's a, he's not a big fan of foosball.
PHOEBE: Oh yeah, it'll be fun. [throws a tennis ball at Eddie's bedroom door]
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, since the divorce, when anybody asks me how I am, it's always with a sympathetic head tilt. [demonstrating] 'How ya doin'? You OK?'
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
Monica: And youve never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot!
PHOEBE: And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
MONICA: Not a lot, Phoebe's kidding, Phoebe's crazy.
EDDIE: [walks around corner] A little what?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is there. There's a knock at the door. He answers it to see a young woman holding a fishtank.]
CHANDLER: Yes. Hey, can I ask you, is Eddie a little...
CHANDLER: So, we gettin' a fish?
Matt: It tastes like (mimicking him in a high-pitched voice) feet!
PHOEBE: Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines?
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
Coma Guy: Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay.
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
RACHEL: Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious.
RICHARD: Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark.
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
CHANDLER: This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story.
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
CHAN: All right, check out this bad boy. 12 megabytes of ram. 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s.
MONICA: Well, it just seems like a really small number.
ROSS: [in a childish voice] I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
RICHARD: I have a little comb.
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
DR. REMORE: Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother.
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
Joey: Well, were fashioning a very long poking device.
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
RACHEL: Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.Chandler walks in to see Eddie holding a tray of cookies.]
EDDIE: I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you.
EDDIE: No. See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh?
MONICA: A mirror?
MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.
JOEY: Anybody want a croan.
Phoebe: No, I mean, I mean, when you're at the fifteenth date, y'know, you're already in a very relationshippy place. Y'know, it's... you're committed.
Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.
JOEY: But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this.
ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that.
ROSS: So suck it up man, it's a job, it's money.
JOEY: That's a two line part.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
MR A: Oh, no, please, I spent most of mid-morning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear?
EDDIE: That's a tomato. This one definitely goes in the display.
EDDIE: Ah, just some basic dehydrating of a few fruits and vegetables. MAN ALIVE this thing's fantastic!
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
JOEY: Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go.
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.
[Monica goes into her room and slams the door. Rachel does the same. Phoebe, without a door to slam, opens a small chest and slams the lid.]
JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]
JOEY: [movers removing a glass parrot] Oh, not my parrot.
ROSS: Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?
MRS. GELLER: We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
EDDIE: Yeah, you know, put chips in it, we'll make like a chip chick.
EDDIE: We took a road trip to Las Vegas man.
Monica: Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. (Steve sits, Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one, quickly)... with just a touch of mints... and... (he finishes)... ginger.
JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.
CHANDLER: Ah that's a cantelope.
CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
JOEY: He paid a lot of money for it.