words in movies
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game.
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Charlie: Hey! (They kiss and cuddle a little)
Charlie: So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to...
Charlie: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.
Ross: Still sharp as a tack!
Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
Amy: (looks confused) N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?
Joey: Always nice to meet a fan!
Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart!
Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Amy: This guy! He has a killer apartment.
Amy: Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there.
Rachel: Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there’s written ‘Julie, will you marry me?’ and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.
Joey: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don’t need that kind of talk in my house!
Rachel: No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Monica: Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song.
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Rachel: (Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement)
Monica: What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it!
Chandler: Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think?
(Amy walks in carrying a phone handset)
Rachel: (Thinks for a moment) Well, actually...
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
Ross: Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella! Rachel: (Defends Amy) Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name!
Ross: (a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Monica: Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds!
Chandler: (on the phone) Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. (listens) Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. (hangs up looking very confused).
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
(Amy comes in with Emma in a stroller)
Amy: I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready?
Chandler: Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat?
Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
Amy: Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt!
Monica: I'm a cool, fun aunt!
Amy: Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist.
Ross: That's not a thing!
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
Amy: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
Rachel: Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Mike: (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)
Phoebe: Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.)
Rachel: Honey, its going to be okay. Hes been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; thats what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Joey: Well obviously this is a mistake! You cant be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant!
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Ben: Jack? I hate him! Hes a jerk.
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Phoebe: Im sorry. Im sorry. I never got to be in a club. I-I didnt go to high school, but three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office holiday party.]
Monica: Yeah! I didnt know there would be dancing. That was a fun surprise!
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: I cant walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake!
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
(Joey enters dragging a guy.)
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Chandler: Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.
Monica: Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah Ooh Oohh Ohh Oh God Ohh Oh Ohh Ohhhh
Joey: Hey! You dont get a say in this!
Rachel: Oh, come on kids! A little help here!
Phoebe: Concert. Yeah. That does put us in quite a pickle. Because you see Im very busy before and after the concert, and hes obviously busy during.
Phoebe: The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
[Scene: The Street, Chandler is carrying Monica past a store window.]
Chandler: Oh Im sorry! Do you need a break?
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Monica: Okay, Im never gonna wear them again. I just didnt get a chance to say goodbye.
Joey: Dina, if youre having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, thats not a compliment!
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Joey: So whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you gonna do? Youre gonna have the baby and-and raise it by yourself without a husband?! You cant be a single mother alone! Youre gonna ruin your life!
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
Rachel: Okay Bobby, why dont we just come over here and let them have a little moment. (Drags Bobby away from Joey and Dina.)
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Rachel: Well, yknow what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, Ill ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, thats what you need a good pill.
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Yknow she has a face Ross!
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Mona: Okay. Okay, heres a good one of us.
Phoebe: Wait, Im-Im sorry. Whats the big deal about a holiday card?
Ross: Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!
Doug: Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.
Doug: Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, weve got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Ross: A hundred?! Well, I-I guess Ill take aMona, uh I-Im not sure about the whole uh, card thing.
Mona: How many did you want? Im getting a hundred.
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just dont know if were really quite there yet.
Mona: Oh yknow, I didnt think of it that way. Youre right. Youre right. So, can I ask you a question?
Dr. Schiff: Uh, I dont have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Dr. Schiff: Im a doctor.
Phoebe: Give her a key to your apartment.
Ross: Yeah, were not just doing a card! Yknow, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Monica: Making her a mixed tape?
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Ross: Aw, we-we are so (Motions that theyre connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, yknow hanging out with you. And I mean-Im having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isnt.)
Ross: She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette.
Phoebe: I had a great time. (accent) It was really top drawer. And here's something rich: thirteen bathrooms in this place... I threw up in the coat closet... Ta taaa...
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?!
Phoebe: Its okay, hes a virgin.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake hes made with a woman.]
Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh?
Mona: I dont understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
Ross: Okay, and oh Im gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give them away for no reason at all.
Ross: Im trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Doug: No, its a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. Were gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Im sorry honey, Im just having a, having a rough day.
Joey: Good, I uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon.
(They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the living room.)
Ross: It used to be. Now she doesnt really have a face. Smokin body though.
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Phoebe: Hey! I got you a present!!
Monica: Well, you justyou put a quarter in and yknow pull-pull some handles and win like a candy bar or something.
Phoebe: Its a Ms. Pac-Man machine!!
Chandler: A vending machine?
Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important.
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Joey: I got a big date coming up, do you know a good restaurant?
Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency.
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Joey: You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, Ill tell ya
Chandler: Who cares? Its a stupid game.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date with Joey as there is a knock on the door.]