words in movies
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game.
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Charlie: Hey! (They kiss and cuddle a little)
Charlie: So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to...
Charlie: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.
Ross: Still sharp as a tack!
Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
Amy: (looks confused) N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?
Joey: Always nice to meet a fan!
Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart!
Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Amy: This guy! He has a killer apartment.
Amy: Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there.
Rachel: Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there’s written ‘Julie, will you marry me?’ and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.
Joey: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don’t need that kind of talk in my house!
Rachel: No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Monica: Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song.
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Rachel: (Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement)
Monica: What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it!
Chandler: Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think?
(Amy walks in carrying a phone handset)
Rachel: (Thinks for a moment) Well, actually...
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
Ross: Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella! Rachel: (Defends Amy) Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name!
Ross: (a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Monica: Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds!
Chandler: (on the phone) Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. (listens) Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. (hangs up looking very confused).
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
(Amy comes in with Emma in a stroller)
Amy: I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready?
Chandler: Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat?
Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
Amy: Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt!
Monica: I'm a cool, fun aunt!
Amy: Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist.
Ross: That's not a thing!
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
Amy: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
Rachel: Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Mike: (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)
Phoebe: Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.)
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Phoebe: A couple hours.
Rachel: Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? (To Phoebe) She was a big girl.
Ross: Hi. (He is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to his nose. He tosses some forms onto reception desk.)
David: Pivat!! (In a high pitched voice) Pivat!!!
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)
Joey: Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be?
(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
Ross: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
Monica: Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal.
Chandler: Not a one.
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling.
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
(Angela takes a seat at the counter.)
Ross: Look, it's just a little more complicated...
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)
PHOE: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him.
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog.
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there, meeting Angela and Bob, who Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Ross: Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too?
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Phoebe: Ok, have a good break-up.
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
Ross: Hey, this- (she gives him a look and the guys back off) Heyy...
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
Rachel: Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.
Monica: It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?
Rachel: It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.
Ross: (not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry!
Joey: All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.
Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?
Phoebe: It's like a gift.
Phoebe: Oh hey you guys, I couldn�t get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Phoebe: (seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.
Ross: He can hold a banana, if that's whatcha mean...
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
All: Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
(Joey enters from behind a curtain. The others all talk at once.)
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
Phoebe: (reading Monica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Monica: Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this?
Ross: Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Ross: Well... (realizes, screaming like a little girl, trying to get rid of the spider) Whaa... aaah... aaahhh...
[Scene: A Film Set, Joey is entering for his scene.]
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Monica: I think it's a great idea. Yeah, we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends.
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
Phoebe: Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights go out) OK, thank you very much.
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
Monica: OK, I'll go. OK, senior year of college... on a pool table.
Monica: Oh my God! What were you doing in a library?
Ross: Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.'
Joey: We have a winner!
Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
Ross: I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Ross: You come out there, you're a dead man.
Ross: OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! (a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross)
Ross: OK. Here goes. For a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?