words in movies
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Chandler: Goin out, huh? Wow! Wow! (Does a little celebration dance) So things didnt work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer.
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Monica: (At a loss for words) Boy, that was-that was, umm terrific.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Chandler: No-no, hes not back yet, but hell be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern?
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Joey: Me too, but I guess I do have a couple of more(his time runs out for real)
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Joey: Yeah, it mustve fallen out a few blocks back. I just figured we hit a dog.
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Chandler: Well, yknow Im 29. I mean who needs a savings account.
Joey: Yknow what I think? I think somebodys got a little crush on Casey. How bout I fix you two up? What do you think?
Monica: You obviously havent screwed over a lot of your friends. (They all look at her) Which we all appreciate.
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Chandler: Is that a real thing?
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.
Rachel: I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything, but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less.
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment...(pause) Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok?
Rachel: Woow!I haven't seen you this worked up since you did that dog food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog!
Chandler: What? No, I'm taking Monica to a romantic inn in Vermont (shows them a brochure)!
Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags!
Phoebe: Well, it was an accident...You know, it's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips!
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
Phoebe: And tell them that in 2 weeks I will once again be a masseuse in good standing!
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
Director: On a bell please! Quietly.. and ACTION!
Actress/Olivia: I don't have a choice...
Rachel: whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?
(the scene starts.Joey enters and there's a girl wearing a wedding dress near a bed)
Chandler: You hear that! That is her chose, mister Ill let you have her! I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!! (does the wave.)
Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?"
Rachel: (watching a television where the scene is shown, startled) OH!
3rd Customer: The musician right outside the restaurant...it's kind of a mood-killer!
Monica: This is kind of a classy place.
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Chandler: Hi, Chandler Bing, I have a reservation.
Chandler: And, a lemon lime.
Chandler: I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.
Ross: (in a strange voice and eating candies) The big apple!
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Joey: (seriously) Yes, its a highly controversial procedure.
Chandler: Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? (pause) We'll take it.
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Ross: Totally insane. Dude, let's drive home, we'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back and if...if they're closed maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves.
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Ross: We are four short of a bush-o (pause). God I feel so alive, I love being in the country!
Gavin: But it was a deap meaningful relationship.
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Ross: Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.
Monica: A love scene? With who?
Rachel: Can I ask you a question?
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday.
Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot).
Monica: Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in.
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Ross: (to the receptionist) Thank you for a delightful stay.
Chandler: There's a forest right outside.
Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
Phoebe: Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again!
Phoebe: Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha!
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
[Scene: Tulsa, a conference room. Chandler is chairing a group of eight people.]
Monica: Ok who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretention never hurt anyone? (a few raise their hands)
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
Joey: I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right?
Ross: (browsing the brochure) I guess...It still seems a little...(enthusiastically) moonlight boat ride!!
Joey: A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia.
Rachel: Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Rachel: Ok...this could be a little awkward...I'm just going to blow past it... well can't you just use that method actor thing where you use your real life memories to help you in your performance?
Rachel: Yeah well, Im-Im a slut.
(Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while)
Ross: (sounds excited) Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out...or...? (Looks around the room nervously) do you...do you guys hear a buzzing?
Chandler: I could fall asleep at a play.
Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Rachel: Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal?
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep)
Chandler: Maybe we finish this for him! (he sits down on the sofa and he start typing on Ross' computer) "Also I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. She's now my girlfriend. I don't care what society says. It's the best sex I've ever had"... aaand SEND!
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Chandler: Yes, but, Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.
Rachel: See, Gavin, you're capable of being a nice guy. Why did you give me such a hard time?
(a woman walks in)
Ross: (looking his elbow, where there's a patch) These aren't suede.
Charlie: (to Gunther) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
Monica: (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirates voice) So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie?
Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around.
Ross: (hitting Monica with his suitcase) (to Charlie) We should probably get going, you know, we got a lot of ground to cover.
Rachel: Yeah, it's a real shame you can't make it to that one-woman show tonight.
Ross: You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok?
Joey: Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people.
Rachel: (angry) You are having a party tonight??
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
[Scene: Ross, Charlie and Professor Spafford are sitting at the table in a restaurant]
Rachel: (yelling and jumping like a child) OH, a soap opera roof party!! I'm going to a soap opera roof party!! Oh my God, oh my God!! (realizing how she's behaving) And it's out of my system!
Professor Spafford: (speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
Janine: I dont know, theyre just a little blah!
Charlie: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. (she cuts herself off for a moment)
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!
Monica: Ok, then, why are you... (she opens her robe revealing a nice black dress) all dressed up??