words in movies
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Chandler: Goin out, huh? Wow! Wow! (Does a little celebration dance) So things didnt work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer.
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Monica: (At a loss for words) Boy, that was-that was, umm terrific.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Chandler: No-no, hes not back yet, but hell be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern?
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Joey: Me too, but I guess I do have a couple of more(his time runs out for real)
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Joey: Yeah, it mustve fallen out a few blocks back. I just figured we hit a dog.
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Chandler: Well, yknow Im 29. I mean who needs a savings account.
Joey: Yknow what I think? I think somebodys got a little crush on Casey. How bout I fix you two up? What do you think?
Monica: You obviously havent screwed over a lot of your friends. (They all look at her) Which we all appreciate.
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Chandler: Is that a real thing?
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Rachel: Uh...no. No, no, in fact, you're not having a boy.
Ross: I'm having a son. Um...
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Joey: (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)
Ross: I'm having a boy! Oh, I'm having a boy!
Ross: I'm having a boy! I-I'm having a boy!
Girls: Yes, you're having a boy! (Monica runs over and hugs Ross)
Ross: Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?
Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.
Roger: Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Chandler: Pheebs, were not giving you a deposit for our wedding!
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Rachel: Did you not get a good enough look the other day?
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Mr. Tribbiani: Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.
Ronni: That's a good one!
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel.
Ronni: (Shrugs) We'll go to a hotel.
Ronni: Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid.
Monica: Oh! So you think I'm a failure!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joey: Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap!
Ross: You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady?
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were...
Phoebe: It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.
Lecturer: Were beginning to see a lot of layering of sheer fabrics and colours. For instance a sheer navy blouse over a pink....
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Phoebe: Oh no, I am mad at you. I know that much. But, I am sorry about the fat ass thing. You actually have a very sweet little hiney.
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Phoebe: 'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Chandler: Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a...
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Chandler: Ok, I'm makin' a break for it, I'm goin' out the window.
Phoebe: But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little...
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
Chandler: Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV?
Chandler: Oh, what a crappy night!
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Rachel: Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.
Rachel: (looking at picture) Hey he's wearing a sweater.
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Monica: You know, it's a really funny story how this happened.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Rachel: Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.) I'm sorry!
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in, wearing a suit.]
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
Janine: Yeah, well youd be better if you just loosened your hips a little.
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Phoebe: (points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Monica: (brings a plate of tiny appetizers over) Here you go, maybe this'll cheer you up.
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon (the original, not that cruddy Urge Overkill version) is playing. Ross and Celia are kissing passionately.]
Ross: OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning...
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)
Chandler: This is great! (he presses a button on his intercom) Helen, could you come in here for a moment?