words in movies
Ross: Wo-wo-whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Rachel: (as Monica) Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Elizabeth: Uh, Im a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Dana: Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I dont feel that way about you.
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Monica: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Ross: Oh, okay. What-what about?
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Joey: All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge?
Ross: That! Lets talk about that.
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Phoebe: Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I justy'knowstop it!
(A group of about 10 guys and no women come running around the corner.)
Phoebe: Dont worry about me, Im a robot! Im just a machine!!
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Joey: Yeah, and oh she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's Sandwich, Ross his confronting his boss about him eating Ross's sandwich.]
Monica: Wh?! What about my allergies?!
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Chandler: Sure! Thats one of the great things about being engaged. Im not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
Joey: Yeah, youre right. Okay look, listen, lets talk about what a huge star Im gonna be!
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Joey: Okay. Sorry about that (Mimics that cheek thing he just did.) Uh, so wheres C.H.E.E.S.E.?
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories (stops and tries to change directions) about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke.
Chandler: Yeah, you wish. (Stops to think about it and gets depressed.)
Phoebe: Im not writing about you! Im writing about other people.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Monica: Phoebe, stop writing about us!
Paul: Dont worry about it, I just didnt realize you were married. (Rachel returns and hears that.)
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
Monica: I mean think about all the money that youre gonna make!
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Paul: Ill call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
[Scene: Macs Office, Mac is talking to C.H.E.E.S.E. about their case.]
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Nancy: So anyway I sent the designs over to Ralph and he's very excited about the line.
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Rachel: Yeah thats great. But first, wait, talk to me, talk to me. Tell me about your day.
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Paul: Are you talking about having sex?
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Ross: Yknow what? He didnt want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we dont talk to him at all!
Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
Joey: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
Ross: Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Kristen: But how about tomorrow?
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
Monica: But getting over was the hardest thing that Ive ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Monica: Uh yeah, I-I actually I thought about you a couple months ago.
Richard: So Monica let me ask you a question. Yknow, since we broke up do you ever, think about me?
Phoebe: I dontLook I dont know what youre complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation!
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Chandler: What are you talking about?
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Rachel: Oh hell, hes done this three times! He knows what its about!
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!