words in movies
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Joey: All right now, so? What do you think?
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
All: Bye!
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Chandler: (swallowing hard) It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very happy were gonna have all the sex.
[Flashback to the gang in Central Perk in The One Where Nana Dies Twice, theyre all going through an old photo album.]
Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Phoebe: Ive never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Rachel: All right. (She starts off.)
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
All: Gay!
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
[The next one is from Episode 711: The One With All the Cheesecakes.]
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Joey: No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Rachel: Hey! Those are all the things Im responsible for!
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
The Director: Okay, all right. Lets do it. (He walks off.) And Action!
Chandler: Yeah. Yknow I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and Ill go all Chandler. But nothing has.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Mr. Bing: (entering) Hello all!
Monica: Nobody wants to do it? All right, Ill do it myself.
Monica: All right, Im gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?
Joey: Great! All right. Ill see you later. (He starts to leave.)
All: To the Bings!
Joey: All right.
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
(They all go into the hallway.)
Rachel: All right, well how much time do you need?
Phoebe: Ross, youre tired. Youve been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.
Rachel: All right, Ill see you guys later.
Phoebe: All right. Good luck.
Richard: All right.
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Joey: Okay uh, look I know youre a great actor, okay? And you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
Jennifer: Lisas laugh though TheresIts so infectious. Its one of those things just forget about it. Once it starts, its all gone.
(They all start laughing.)
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Monica: No, a guy would be saying, "Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else." Oh my God! Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! Ive been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that Id be giving up! I mean, I Im never gonna have a first kiss again.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Rachel: All right, Ill-Ill take it again when I get home.
Chandler: Yes, I told him how talented you were. I told him all about Days Of Our Lives.
Ross: All right. (Walks over to Mona.)
Dennis Phillips: Its an all Chinese cast. Can you be Chinese?
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Chandler: (sliding up behind her) No. No, I wont. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didnt want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot.
Ross: Something couldve happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Rachel: No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Phoebe: All right. (She sits down like shes pregnant again.)
Theodore: Oh no, not all the time... I do the best I can...
Joey: (entering) You opened them all?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has finished opening all the presents. Shes ashamed of this, at least, because as someone enters ]
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
Chandler: (entering) Hey, what was that all about?
Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, whats-whats the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.)
Phoebe: All in good time my love. All in good time. Oh shoot! I left my guitar in their apartment. Well you can let me in later.
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Bitsy: Well, not at all...
Chandler: All right buddy, time to roll over. (Rolls him over, and discovers a surprise) (Looking down) No-no! (Covers his eyes) No, no-n-n-n-no!! You are going to a clinic! Youre going to a clinic, and a pyjama store!
Monica: No!! You have been screwing us all day!
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
All: Hey!
Joey: Hey! Youre back! (Hugs and kisses all around.)
Ross: What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place!
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
Joey: All right now All right, youre all set up. Youre good to go. Just hit record. All right?
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) (To All) Its the deli again!
Joey: All right! Ill have a sandwich!
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.