words in movies
Joey: Well, ah, Im an actor. Im fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and dont worry Im totally okay with the gay thing.
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
(An awkward silence)
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Joey: Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's! (They turn to stare at him.) What? Thought we were trying to find stuff.
(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
Dr. Baldhara: Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns, you've got to give the little guy something. Otherwise it's just cruel.
Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
Chandler: Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan?
Rachel: I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table.
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
Jill: (on phone) Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule.
(He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.)
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Ross: Oh! Y'know, Ive got an extra futon.
Jill: Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy.
(Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.)
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Terry: An advance?
Monica: (gives her an envelope) Would you just open it?
[Ross gives him an insulted look.]
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Chandler: (sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.
Joey: (interrupting) Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an optionwhat's a urethra? (Monica whispers what it is in his ear.) Are you crazy?!
Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?
Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?
(He removes the coat to reveal an elf costume)
Rachel: Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight.
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Monica: It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
Fun Bobby: It's gonna be an open casket, y'know, so at least I'll- I get to see him again.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt!
Joey: Or an uncle...
Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
David: Why not? It's brilliant! (talking to an imaginary Mike) Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely.
Joey: (hides the TV, but he still has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing disability.
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us?
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Monica: Fine. (Starts to walk away then she runs over and grabs an orange before she exits.) Go! Go! Go!
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Ross: An egg?
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Chandler: No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg.
(An unamused woman walks into the office.)
Phoebe: Okay. All right you yellow-bellied-lilly-livered-DRAW!! (they both kick up the foot rests like an old fashioned gun fight.)
Rachel: Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?
Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Wendy! (Listens) Yeah, eight o'clock. (Listens) What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?... (Listens) OK, great. (Listens) All right, I'll see you then. Bye. (hangs up)
Monica: Twelve dollars an hour.
Monica: Ten dollars an hour.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.
Chandler: Uh, no, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator.
Monica: You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... (Rachel isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an hour.
Ross: Look, you'll get there. You're an amazing chef.
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
(He hurriedly checks his hair in his computer screen, before taking a sporting trophy from a drawer to place ostentatiously on his desk. An attractive young woman opens the door.)
Jamie: I think we have an answer.
Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?
Monica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, (tiny laugh) I put mine.
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
Monica: No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22.
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]
Ross: With an aptitude for science.
Ross: Actually its more like this. (Pushes her hands to less than an inch apart.)
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?
Chandler: Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Rachel: Oooooh. (reads letter) (surprised): Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview!
Phoebe: W-wI justits thatI haveyknow I have-I have an appointment. And its very important.
Young Ethan: I am telling you, up until I was, like nine, I thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happen.
Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Barry: I'm sorry... I'm sorry, God, I am so sorry, I'm an idiot, I was weak, I couldn't help myself! Whatever I did, I only did because I love you so much!
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Rachel: You're not an artist.
Monica: I can't belive it, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna have like a nephew.
Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
LIPSON: I'm sorry Mr. Geller. But ya know, there's an old saying, 'Sometimes monkeys die.' It's not a great saying but it certainly is fitting today.
Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Chandler: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. Franzblau been by?
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
Joey: (takes phone) Hi, yeah, it's me. (Listens) Oh, no no no, we're just friends. (Listens) Yeah, I'm single. (Listens) 25. (Listens) An actor. (Listens) Hello?
Dr. Franzblau: I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone?
Monica: (to Julie) It's an expression.
Rachel: Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's!
JOEY: No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket.