words in movies
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Joey: (voice-over) ...and he couldnt let it go, and... I dont really know what happened with that either.
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Joey: (voice-over) Oh-oh! And then Rosss new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinced her to save her head. And then Ross and Rachel kiss, and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl and I dont know what happened there either...
Joey: Y'know what, hold on, let me go get Chandler. (gets up and leaves.)
[Scene: The beach house, its the same scene from the end of last year, with Ross in front of the two doors of Rachels and Bonnies rooms, trying to decide which door to choose. He finally chooses the one his right and goes in.]
Rachel and Bonnie: Hi!
Bonnie: (getting up and leaving) (to Ross) Okay, Ill see you in our room.
Ross: Yeah. (closes the door, and goes over and kisses Rachel.)
(They both kiss again and fall onto the bed.)
Ross: (stopping suddenly and getting up) Okay, I gotta go.
Ross: Well, yeah. I cant-I cant stay here all night, and if I go in there shes-shes gonna wanna... do stuff.
Phoebe: I-I mean I, well I think I can figure it out. I guess y'know I was born, and everyone started lying their asses off!
Phoebe Sr.: Noo! No! It wasnt like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, any how, some how I got pregnant, and, and I was scared. I was stupid and sellfish, and I was 18 years old. I mean, you remember what its like to be eighteen years old?
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, everybody does! Im a really cool person. And y'know you had 29 years to find that out, but you didnt even try! Y'know what, you walked out on me, and Im just, Im gonna do the same thing to you.
(She walks out and slams the door.)
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Chandler: (jumping up) Oh, Ill go out and get you some.
Joey: Whoa, wait, Pheebs, wait a second! Dont you wanna stay here and talk about it?
Rachel: (handing him the letter) Its just some things Ive been thinking about. Some things about us, and before we can even think about the two of us getting back together, I just need to know how you feel about this stuff.
Ross: Okay, Ill be up in, (looks at the letter) 18 pages. Front and back. Very exciting.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
Ross: Oh. (looks at his watch) Oh-oh. (takes a drink of coffee and resumes reading the letter)
Rachel: (coming down the stairs) Hey! (Ross jumps up, and quickly puts the letter back together, pretending like he has just finished it.) What happened to you? Why didnt you come up?
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Rachel: I know. (Hugs him more violently this time and pushes him back away from the letter.)
[Scene: The beach. Chandler and Monica are out getting some sun.]
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
(A wave crashes on the beach and partially fills up his hole.)
Joey: Yeah, and Im a little tired from digging the hole.
[Scene: The beach house, Phoebe is coming down the stairs all packed and ready to go.]
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Ross: It does. It really and truly does.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler about the letter.]
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Ursula: All right, hang on! (She takes the note, goes back into her apartment and slams the door shut.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are sitting at the table eating dinner and not talking. Ross and Rachel are outside cuddling on the balcony.]
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: NO!!!
Ross and Rachel: Come on!
Chandler: (running over and joining Monica) Theyll never understand!
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Joey: And I was tired from digging the huge hole!
Chandler: And then Joey remembered something.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
Phoebe Sr.: No, Im not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didnt look you up was, well I was afraid that youd react, just well like, the way, the way youre reacting right now, and cant we just, y'know, start from here?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: Oh, oh, and hey-hey-hey, those little spelling tips will come in handy when youre at home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica!!
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are playing cards at the dinner table.]
Monica: Okay, all right, I think youre great, I think youre sweet, and youre smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me.
(Joey grabs her and kisses her.)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist.
[cut to Joeys bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
Kate: And then she could rip off his shirt and kiss his chest, and, and his stomach!
Kate: And then right, right when the scene ends, he could take her with this raw, animal....
Kate: Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are eating breakfast as Joey enters, very happily.]
(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
[Cut to Joey hanging up the phone in Vegas. He's wearing a Roman gladiator's uniform and goes over to join a family to pose for a picture. You see, he's apparently taken a job at Caesar's Palace.]
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Joey: You don't wanna see what I just saw! (at this moment Monica comes home, and sees Chandler flat on his back on the floor and Joey pinning him down)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebes dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
Joey: Oh yeah, and shes really nice too! She taught me about yknow, how to work with the cameras and smell-the-fart acting.
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with the chick and the duck.]
Chandler: Look, Im sorry. Okay? Im weak, and pathetic, and sorry.
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Joey: (leaving Central Perk and seeing Monica laying on top of Rachel who is moaning in pain.) Oh my.
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Chandler: Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)
[He distracts her from catching Monica and Monica slams into her, knocking her down. Monica then falls on top of her.]
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
Monica: What?! Oh.(She turns around quickly and falls)
(She starts to go and get the coffee and falls behind the counter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Pete: I bought a restaurant and I would like you to be the head chef.
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
(Monica hugs her goes and hugs her)
(She slaps Rachels side and Rachel screams in pain.)
WEDDING PLANNER: All rightie, everybody look at me. Good. All right, its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines, thank you.
(She gets just about all the way over to him and falls into his arms.)
Phoebe: Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lots and lots of love.
Chandler: Okay. (He opens it and its a baby chick) Its a chicken.
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Monica: Oh, thats great! I mean Im-Im sorry, but Im so happy for you. And now I can work for you!
Monica: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? Im just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is baby-chick sitting.]
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Chandler: And you dont think taking care of our chick is work?
Joey: Good luck. (to Monica) And Im still right!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Rachel: No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. Its a very big deal, theres a lot of people there I have to meet.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
Ross: Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesnt like how it tastes.)
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
(She turns and looks in the mirror, and its way, way over done. She looks like she has two black eyes.)
PHOEBE: Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it.
Monica: Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed?
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
Chandler: I did! But the store wouldnt take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out?
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And Im okay with that.
(She kisses him on the cheek, and he kisses her back on the mouth.)
Monica: And well, we probably shouldnt see each other anymore. Im sorry.
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
[cut to inside Monica and Rachels]
Chandler: Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!
Ross: Eh, cause I knew that if I told you, youd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Chandler: Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard youd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Chandler: Yeah, and I dont have any cologne.
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
(In horror, Joey wipes his neck and smells it.)
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)