words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Phoebe: That is nice and were done. TADA!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Ross: and thats the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising lifes triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Joey: I know. And shes so sweet. I just wanna feed her grapes and brush her hair.
Monica: Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember!
Janine: Thanks. (To Monica and Ross) Great so we can all go together! I gotta run. Catch you later!
Rachel: Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, Im sorry, but I dont think that was a romantic thing.
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Rachel: Well, thats a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick.
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
(Monica and Ross push to the front)
Monica and Ross: Scuse us
(He and Monica laugh)
Director: Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: Dont worry, were just gonna search here for an hour, them were gonna go over to Joeys and search, OK?
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
(Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out)
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Phoebe and Rachel: No, we never do that
(Camera pans to Joey and Janine)
(She pulls Joey towards her and dances really close to him.)
Joey: No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.
(He leaves, and this girl grabs Joey and starts dancing really wild.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are there and Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
(Ross and Monica high-five)
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Monica: Okay, lets do it. Mom and Dad are gonna be so faced!
(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
[Cut to Joey and Janine]
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
(Rachel sits on the window seat, and knocks against it)
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Phoebe: And the big ones for me!
Phoebe and Rachel: Why?
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, they both enter.]
Janine: Well, I dont know tonight when they yelled cut and we didnt get to kiss, I was really, really, disappointed, and I just, really wanted to kiss you
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, everyone except Joey is there.]
Monica: We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled CUT!
Monica: I can do it, okay? Come on, lets go. (She and Ross get up)
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
[Scene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.]
Ross starts playing with a plate: Woah. Woah... <nearly really drops the plate and more seriously> Woah.
Rachel: All right. (She does so and it brings the cooler closer together.) Hey-hey-hey!! (Sees whats in the cooler.) Sandwiches!
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Monica: Because your all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook them like you did the other night?
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
Joey: No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out.
Rachel: No. No, I dont. Could you be a dear and go tell him?
Chandler: Go and tell Rachel right now before Ross finds out.
Rachel: Why not? I dont want to do this alone! And hes such a sweet guy and he loves me so much.
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Rachel: Yes, you did! And dont you say, "No, I didnt!"
Joey: No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me!
Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out!
Rachel: He was right there. He got down on one knee and proposed.
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Joey: Yknow what you guys? Im uh, Im gonna go too. And uh, Im sorry about everything.
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! (Pause) Im not helping.
Ross: And you told Phoebe you were engaged.
Ross: So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby?
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you Ill go straight to my forty two point plan.
(Chandler drifts off and his arm slips off the table and he wakes back up.)
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Rachel: Ok. (Starts swinging Emma rapidly and she stops crying)
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Ross: And I can even understand that you couldnt tell Rachel, but why couldnt you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didnt.
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
Monica: Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma is still crying.]
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Monica: Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?
Ross: Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed!
Chandler: Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing
Chandler: Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes.
Ross: (tightening his tie) And so do I.
Joey: And youre Okay with that?
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues to cry.]
Monica: About a week and a half.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Rachel: Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Ross enters.]
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Rachel: I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again.
(Ross and Rachel enter)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are sitting at one of the high tables.]
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Rachel: Every time? (She takes up her cell phone and starts dialing.)
Rachel: I'm on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away)
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
[SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!
Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment]
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Monica: Now see, this way you protect the plate.. and lets face it you have fun.
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
(Phoebe and Mary Ellen enter.)
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment]
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.