words in movies
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
Singer: Okay, my next songs called: Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say. I Really Loved When We Were Singing Partners, And I Shouldnt Have Left You That Way.
Leslie: I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish, and he said you played here a lot, so umm....
Monica, Ross, and Joey: (joining in) Home is Home Star stew.
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
Leslie: Well, I y'know, I was just, umm, I was just thinking and hoping, that umm, maybe youd want to get back together?
[Scene: Outside the bathroom, Chandler is pacing back and fourth, waiting is use it.]
Chandler: No. This is just part of a dare devil game that I play called wait until the last moment before I burst and die.
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
(Joey puts his finger over his mouth to tell Ross to keep quiet. Ginger looks at Monica who looks away and leave.)
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
(Rachel goes to hug him but Ross is holding one of her hands and doesnt let go, so she can only put one arm around him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
Phoebe: Oh. (takes her beeper puts in a pot, covers it, and puts the pot in the oven)
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Joey: All right!! Okay, it was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dads cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner....
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
(Phoebe and Monica both stand up and gasp.)
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
Rachel: Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is looking at her beeper still in the pot. She takes it out, shakes it, and puts it back in.]
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
(Phoebe runs in and joins her.)
Phoebe and Leslie: (singing) Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, always make me smile. Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, next time Ill.... avoid the..... pillleeeee.
Lecturer: Were beginning to see a lot of layering of sheer fabrics and colours. For instance a sheer navy blouse over a pink....
Ross: (to Rachel) Im really glad we came. (Rachel smiles and rubs his arm) Youre so pretty. I love you.
(Ross wakes up with a start and startles Rachel. The guy next to him starts laughing, which starts Ross laughing, Rachel gives him a look and he stops.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading the newspaper.]
Chandler: Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car.
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are getting back from the lecture.]
Rachel: Well okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium listening to Professor Pitstains and hes Hey everybody! Remember that thing thats been dead for a gazillion years. Well theres this little bone we didnt know it had!
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
Ross: No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. (Makes an unusual sound, then he realises that he still has his jacket on and quickly tries to shake it off, thinking its alive and attacking him.)
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
Ross: Sure, I-I-I... (hugs her and mouths No!!)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Ginger are eating dinner.]
(They start making out. She opens his shirt and feels inside and stops.)
Chandler: Well, y'know two regulars. And ah one that barely qualifies as... (starts to kiss her again, but she gets up.) Ahh, what?
Ginger: Ah well, its nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, Ill see you later. Okay. (She leaves and in the hall we see her shake her shoulders like when someone runs their fingernails across a blackboard.)
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Joey are watching TV.]
(Monica gets up and shuts off the TV.)
Phoebe: Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-lifes gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang except Chandler is there.]
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Rachel: You guys are gonna come and visit me, right?
[Scene: Central Perk. The entire gang is there, and Chandler and Monica are handing out presents.]
Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
Monica: Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these (she holds the furry handcuffs) on my pillow.
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
[Scene: The guest bedroom. Rachel and Monica are talking to each other.]
[ Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Chandler, Monica and Emma are sitting on the floor, and Emma's stuffed animals are lined up in front of them.]
(Chandler slides the bowl to the far end of the counter. He tries again, but he hits the spoon to hard and the ball goes flying away.)
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
[Scene: Back to the living room. Monica and Rachel enter and hug each other. The guys see this.]
Director: Let's try it again, and this time let's watch everybody watch Joey. (to Joey) Show 'em how it's done. (to the pianist) Count it off.
Joey: Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up.
[Scene: The guest bedroom. Chandler and Rachel.]
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
Chandler: Ooh, not so tight... (blows raspberry, and the hug ends) I'm sorry, just give me one more chance.
Chandler: Let me just say something... Because once we get into this, I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke... I just want to say that I... I love you... And, I'm gonna miss you. And I'm so sad that you're leaving.
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
(Rachel and Joey hug, and Rachel turns to enter the apartment through the side window again. At that moment Joey tries to climb over the edge of the balcony.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
(She leaves the apartment and they all stare at Ross)
Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
Ross: (picks up a skull of some carnivore from his side table and puts it in the same bag in which he brought the pterodactyl egg to Zelner) I'm sure he'll understand.
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
(Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.)
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The others are still there.]
Monica: And say what? "You owe me a goodbye", I mean, he's got more pride than that.
(Phoebe goes and lies down as Rachel opens the drawer Monica hid the candlesticks in and as Monica walks out of her room.)
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Chandler: Joey and I can finish up in the guest room.
Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
Chandler: Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them... being used.
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
(there's a lot of supportive cheers from all. Erica, Monica and Chandler leave.)
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
(He walks over and kisses her. They pull back, Rachel looks at him, and they kiss again.)
Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach-aches. They come and go like every few minutes.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. It's a scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Chandler: Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you.
(Monica leaves, and Chandler closes the door. Erica just looks at him.)
Joey: It's my house-warming present for Monica and Chandler.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Joey: Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Phoebe: It's a baby chick and duck!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment.]
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!
Joey: Oh my God. You and Rachel?
Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die...
Joey: Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck?
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.
(The baby starts crying, and the doctor holds it up.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica walks in with one of those knitted Rasta hats.]
Chandler: (emotional) It's a baby! A beautiful little baby! And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see.
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Chandler: Well, gosh. That makes me feel so special and good.
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Chandler: Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?! Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one?
Chandler: Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody.
(Monica and Chandler run back to Erica's bed.)
Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.
Chandler: (To Monica) Well, now we have one of each! (To the doctor) And that's enough!
(Rachel enters and interrupts Phoebe's song.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Rachel: No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday.
(She kisses him on the cheek and looks over at the others.)
[Scene: The hospital. Monica and Chandler are holding the twins, while two nurses are taking care of Erica.]
Erica: Anyway, I'm gonna go and get some rest. I'm really glad I picked you guys. You're gonna make great parents. Even Chandler.
(The nurses take Erica to the recovery room. Monica and Chandler smile at each other.)
Ross: No, and I'm not going to.
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Monica: (points at the baby she's holding) This is a boy, (points at the baby Chandler is holding) and that's a girl.
[cut to Monica and Phoebe in the kitchen]
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, tell me which one, and I'll try slip it in my coat.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
(Monica and Chandler look shocked as Ross goes to leave.)
(Phoebe and Ross leave.)
[Scene: The street right in front of Central Perk. Phoebe's cab is there. Ross and Phoebe run over and jump in.]
Man: 18th and East End.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]