words in movies
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Joey: (startled) Yeah, okay but look, buy uhHey-hey, yknow, yknow who else I like? You! And it-it doesnt get said enough. I like you Ross.
Joey: Look no, I-I know its bad, and I know its wrong. Okay? But-but its not like anythings ever gonna happen. Yknow? These-these are just feelings, theyre gonna go away.
(He exits and starts to walk away, passes a window, stops, and says "Rachel?!" again. Joey sighs and turns around to face Gunther.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Chandler are on the couch.]
Rachel: Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. Thats why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. Hell find me.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, (To Chandler) and you?
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
Phoebe: Obviously, and hes British.
Phoebe: Yeah? And, hes-hes so centered and mature and confident.
Phoebe: Oh, Im so sorry. Um, and maybe Im wrong! I butyknow Im gonna go out with him again, Ill find out more.
Chandler: You believe that this guy is destined for someone else and youre still gonna date him?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is opening the door to Monica.]
Ross: Oh yknow, I stillI cant believe it. Joey and Rachel I mean its Its like you and me going out, only weirder!
Monica: Honey, I dont think thats something we need to worry about! First of all hes-hes never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how shed react.
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Don: Well, Octavio, 27&7Oh! And theres this great little place, Alessandros.
(They go over to the counter and Chandler moves closer to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Phoebe: Theyre just talking, and yknow what? Just because I think theyre soul mates doesnt mean anythings gonna happen.
Monica: Yeah! Oh hes great, I love him. (Walks away and Chandler glares at Phoebe.)
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
Ross: No, no I dont want to do anything to you. All right? I just want to tell you that Im not mad at you and and that I certainly do not hate you. I just, I just came here to say that. (Starts to leave.)
(They clink glasses and take a drink. Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Then Ross sees Joey hating it, mimics he hates it as well.)
Joey: But what if uhand Im not saying she will beBut
Joey: Im sorry, youre right. What am I gonna say? (He takes another sip of the green stuff and recoils at the taste.) Oh!
Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys another sip.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Chandler are watching Monica and Don talk.]
Don: so Ive been slowly phasing out the wine importing and focusing more on the cheese side of things.
Don: And youre still married to him? (They both laugh, and Chandler tries to but fails.)
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel's, Joey walks up to knock on the door, but stops.]
Joey: Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. (Does so.) Take a couple deep breaths. (Does so.) Look confident. (Does so as Rachel opens the door and startles him.)
Rachel: Sure! That sounds great! Just leave me a message and tell me where to meet you. Okay? (Walks away.)
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: Id like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldnt that be nice?
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Monica: No. I dont think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are having dinner.]
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Joey: I would, but this is a nice place and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs.
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Charlton Heston: Hello! Whos in there? (He opens to curtain to reveal a naked and wet Joey.)
Chandler: All right, we havent had sex yet. Okay, whats the big deal? Yknow? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level.
Frank: Umm, its a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are returning from the strip club.]
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
Monica: Yeah. And yknow, if you wanna cry, thats okay too.
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesnt mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise youre just an idiot in a box!
Phoebe: And do you know what girls are really good at?
Chandler: Where I dont want to have a relationship ever! I just want to have sex with strippers and my friends!!
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
(Just then, Charlton Heston walks out of his dressing room and starts eating a liquorice whip.)
Charlton Heston: I dont know one actor worth his salt that didnt say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?!
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Monica: Didnt it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Ross: High collar and baggy pants say Im a pro.
Joey: And there it is.
Janice: I just came up to say, "Hi!" Hi! (to Chandler) And you, sweetie, Ill see you tonight.
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
Chandler: Dont worry about it. Im taking care of it tonight. (Chandler opens the fridge and grabs something to drink.)
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
[Scene: A street, Ross and Emily are walking home from a date.]
Monica: Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up.
Emily: Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Chandler: All right ladies, heres what were gonna do. (Points to a stripper.) You are gonna take off my clothes. (To another two strippers) You two, go get the oils. (To another stripper) And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandlers the king! Chandlers the king!"
Janice: I know! And Im just getting out of a marriage, I mean talk about meant to be!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
WOMAN: You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink?
Joey: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
(Ross gets all excited and starts to dance on the coffee table, but slips allmost immediatly, and falls onto the couch. Rachel wakes up.)
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Ross: I know, but ahhhhhh!! I really wanna go up there and finish that kiss!
Phoebe: Youre kidding! And he plays rugby?! Thats so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
(At that moment two very large men start screaming and running towards Emily and picking her up.)
(The player stands up and smiles. Showing that he has no front teeth.)
Teleplay by: Wil Calhoun Story by: Andrew Reich and Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
(A player comes over and picks up a ball in front of Phoebe.)
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
[Cut to Emily, Devon, and Liam]
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is going over some plans as Rachel enters.]
JOEY: Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper?
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Chandler: You dont want to be guys, youd be all hairy and wouldnt live as long. (Starts to go to his bedroom)
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Chandler: Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me.
(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)
Emily: And uh, Liam, Liams got bad knees. You hit him right and hell go down like a lamp.
(Rachel rips one of the wall and finds a huge hole underneath.)
Rachel: And did you?!
ROSS: Well, there's this, uh, paleontology conference in L.A. so I figured I'd go and then drive down to the zoo and surprise Marcel.
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Emily: One swift kick and hell back off.
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Emily: Youre welcome. (She hugs him tightly and he winces.) Im sorry. Did I hurt you?
[Time lapse, Monica accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off. Joey is making eyes at Angela.]
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
MNCA: What these? [holding up liquor bottles] Oh, these are, um, for.. cuts and scrapes.
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
(Ross and Emily enter.)
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, thats uh, thats interesting. (She goes over and retrieves her note.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Chandler and Joey: Surprise!!
Emily: Youre so sweet! And Im so surprised!
[Cut to later, the party is in full swing. Rachel is in the kitchen and Chandler goes over to talk to her.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
Ross: Yeah, but we-we have to be at the Four Seasons for drinks in 15 minutes and then yknow, then The Plaza for dinner.
Ross: (interrupting Monica and Emily) So we should probably get going soon.
Ross: And is a hum, kinda like a scruddle?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]
Monica: And lucky means, more cleavage?
Rachel: Ohh, God! Look at him, hes so cute. I wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him! How can I kiss him and not letting him know that I like him?
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
[Cut to later, the whole group is seated on the floor and Rachel is explaining the rules of Spin the Bottle.]
(Joey spins the bottle and it lands on Emily.)