words in movies
[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]
Joey: Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! (He grabs a screwdriver and starts to attack the compressor, only he causes a small short circuit and shocks himself.) Ah-ah!! Damn fridge!
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Rachel: Anyway, theres this big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren bought a table, so I kinda have to go
(Ross and Elizabeth enter.)
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Monica: Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early this year! Yknow, a box of Thin Mints and some Tag-a-Longs.
Monica: Well that is great. And seriously, she seems very nice.
Ross: Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the table and Monica is doing something in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh thats good, I guess shell have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form )
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
Ross: Hmm? (Turns around and sees that its Elizabeth) Oh, a student I dont know.
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
Elizabeth: Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips
Ross: (quickly jumping away from Elizabeth) Yes, professor Feesen-sen-stenlger Ill be with you in one moment. (To Elizabeth) So, I will take one box of the Thin Mints. (And he ushers Elizabeth out of the office.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Joey: Or! You can just, yknow (He walks up close to whisper in Rosss ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, you think I dont know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me! (He opens the door and feels inside.) Well what do you know! Broken! Thatll be $400!
Ross: Joey, I did not break this! Okay? (He opens the freezer and smells inside and recoils in disgust.) That has been broken for a while.
(She does so, he closes the door, and she pushes him against the doorknob again.)
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Monica: And slept with the professor.
(Ross leaves to do so and Rachel enters with a guy.)
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you! (He does so and Rachel sits down on the couch.)
Phoebe: You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your own!
Monica: Yes! We found you a really cute and funny guy from Chandlers work!
Phoebe: Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo.
Rachel: I cannot believe you guys! He was really nice and he left because of you!
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Joey: So what? I drove down, sold T-shirts, had a blast. And yknow who knows how to party? Drunk college chicks.
Ross: Well, yeah, of-of course Im okay! What? Im just being supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and (notices something) what-what is uh, whats this? (He holds up a rather skimpy bathing suit.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is reading as Monica and Chandler enter.]
Rachel: IOhh! (Moves over and lets Eldad sit on the couch.)
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Phoebe: (looks) Oh my God, youre right! I am too late; theyre sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.) Rachel?
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
Chandler: It is the softest hair! Touch it! (Both he and Monica do so.)
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
Rachel: I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean (To Patrick) congratulations on all the cash, (He nods) and-and yknow(Feels Eldads hair)Wow! You do have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through anymore of this! Good-bye! (Grabs her stuff, starts to leave, then turns back suddenly, and to Eldad) Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?!
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
Ross: Yeah. And did you, did you pack that bathing suit?
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Elizabeth: Yeah! Im just going down there to relax and hang out with my friends.
(A group of about 10 guys and no women come running around the corner.)
(The guys pick up Elizabeth and carry her onto the plane as she waves bye.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: Oh thats all right! Yknow, I ended up having a really good time. Yknow, the charity was a big success and they raised a lot of money and awareness.
(Rachel does so and its one of those dance party shows they have during spring break and we see )
(Suddenly Ross jumps in and starts dancing with her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sorting their CDs.]
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Jim: And your breasts! Hmm!!!
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Joey: And you couldnt think of anything else?!
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching Sumo wrestling on TV.]
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Phoebe: A little. (She turns around and looks up.) (To the universe) Now youre talking.
Guy: Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is ordering something over the phone from a catalog.]
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross and Phoebe are grilling some burgers and hot dogs.]
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
(Phoebe and Parker enter)
Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Ross: Ya wanna hang back and take our own cab?
Monica: And Ive got the car keys.
(Everyone except Ross and Rachel leave.)
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel are arriving and see his parents.]
Woman: (To Ross and Rachel) Congratulations you two!
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Hi
Woman: And also, congratulations on your wedding.
Ross and Rachel: What?!
Ross and Rachel: Hmmmm .
Aunt Lisa: Congratulations on the baby, and on the wedding
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Parker: Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) Im going to find the mens room, be right back.
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Ross and Rachel's Apartment.
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel have just gotten another wedding present.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
(Cut to Phoebe and Parker)
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
(Cut to Rachel and Ross)
Rachel: Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.
(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)
(Various oohs and ahhs)
Rachel: And the ring, was the size of my fist (makes a fist)!
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
[Scene: A Street, Ross is walking past a newsstand and sees Rachel.]
(Chandler and Joey enter from the vending machines carrying sodas.)
[Scene: Phoebes apartment, Parker and her are entering.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Tag and her are planning how to get the review back.]
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Phoebe: Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why dont we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Chandler: She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she said the funniest thing about--what?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are there.]
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there for his interview and everyone but Phoebe are hiding on the couch.]
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Joey: And Ill have all the muffins.
Joey: (He goes into a song and dance number)
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Joey: Oh, you said it Mike. (Rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
(Suddenly the door opens and two guys come rushing in wielding water balloons.)
Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Chandler: And a bagel with only
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
Joey: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
(Goes over and picks up the remote.)