words in movies
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Rachel: Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal?
(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)
Rachel: (giggling and whispering) Maybe.
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Rachel: Ok, off the top of my head... Don and Janet.
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Ross: (covering with his hand Chandler's face, like pretending he's not there) (to Monica) There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
(Rachel enters the room and checks the answering machine)
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first
Message: "Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight" (Joey's upset and stops it)
Rachel: And you weren't going to tell us? How did you think you were gonna get away with that?
Rachel: And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant?
Rachel: OH! And the year before that, when you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory?
Rachel: (yelling and jumping like a child) OH, a soap opera roof party!! I'm going to a soap opera roof party!! Oh my God, oh my God!! (realizing how she's behaving) And it's out of my system!
[Scene: Ross, Charlie and Professor Spafford are sitting at the table in a restaurant]
Professor Spafford: (speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
Professor Spafford: And that's not all I'm allergic to.
Professor Spafford: I'm also allergic to peanuts, and cashews, and almonds, and filberts...
Charlie: Kinda playing fast and loose with the word "interesting".
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Phoebe: Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out!
Ross: Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny...
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Rachel: I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!!
Charlie: Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and... other poultry.
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Rachel: And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!!
Phoebe: Joey's having a party and he wasn't gonna invite us?
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
Phoebe: And that horrible museum tour!
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Joey: (to Charlie after covering himself up again) Nice to meet ya! (Charlie waves hesitantly and Joey leaves)
(The lights dim and Chandler tries to get away but as the bitter lady comes on stage and starts yelling he promptly changes his mind and sits down)
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
(cut to Ross and Charlie)
Ross: ... And you called him Alby!? (laughs) I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby...
Charlie: Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues...
Charlie: (smiling and thinks for a moment)... no... bu but there was my first boyfriend Billy.
Ross: Huh... huh... what a loser! Some more wine? (takes the half-full glasses and goes to the counter)
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)
Dirk: Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on "Days". And my character has just won the Nobel prize.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Chandler: Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained (bitter woman's tone) not to listen! (pause) But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted.
Phoebe: Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?
Phoebe: You're so much more than just brains! You're sweet, and kind, and funny...
Ross: And sexy.
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Rachel: Please, what about you and Chandler?
Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid!
Monica: And I can't stop you.
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
[Scene: The theater. Monica, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the first line]
Chandler: Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you.
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
Phoebe: Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me.
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. Ill take care of everything.
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!
[Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
Joey: CURIOUS GEORGE (see link)! You know, the monkey, and the guy with the yellow hat!
Mike: (doing Monica and mumbling): Serve the ball, chump.
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
(they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game)
Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on?
Charlie: Uh, well... Joey and I broke up.
Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner.
(Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs)
Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness!
(Chandler scores and wins the match)
Chandler: And that's... how... it's done!
(They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all)
Rachel: N-it wasn�t easy, but it�s your birthday and I did what I got to do.
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
[Scene: Barbados, Monica and Chandler's Room. They both enter from Ross's room. Monica still has her big, frizzy hair.]
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
Phoebe: (whispering) Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!!
Monica: I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey?
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)
(Chandler and Monica's)
(Rachel and Joey's)
(Chandler and Monica take a sprint to the other wall)
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
(Ross and Charlie's)
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Ross: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin guy.
Chandler: And she's... turning on the TV... and watching... Miss Congeniality!
Ross: Thanks! (walks out of the room and starts hugging the wall) Thank you! (closes the door)
(they rush to the wall to Rachel and Joey's, and we move to that room)
Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed)
Rachel: Yeah... (still looking to see where Joey went, and opens the door)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.
Ross: And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.
Rachel: (clearly not listening and still trying to find out where Joey went) Uh-huh... right... yeah...
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Monica, Chandler and Phoebe: YE-AH!
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Monica: Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you?
(They leave and Rachel locks the door.)
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it...
Rachel: I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years...
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Chandler: Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's room. Chandler is packing when Ross knocks on the door and enters...]
Ross: No, I'll do it. (he quickly grabs Joey's boarding pass and gives Joey his one.)
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Mike: Yeah... Well, when... you and I broke up I started seeing someone.
(cut to Charlie and Ross)
(Ross gets up and gestures to Rachel, we cut to Joey and Rachel)
Joey: It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy.
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)
Rachel: Excuse me! (and she walks back to Joey, who is still looking very impressed about what Ross said to him. Rachel looks at him and hits him.) You didn't tell him, did you?
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
[Scene: Mike's apartment. Phoebe's there and the phone rings.]
Joey: I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler.
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's carrying the laundry hamper to their coffee table.]
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
Monica: You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH!
Monica: And the eye!
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.
Rachel: Well, yeah... Okay, look it's about me and...
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Monica: Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck.
(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Joey enters.]
Ross: Oh, not another one! Oh my G... And this is moisturiser. It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
Joey: Alright, alright, okay, uhm... How 'bout this, how about this? Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together.
Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey and Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: And have you .. ed?
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)