words in movies
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
(Rachel turns and gives him a look, and Joey quickly apologises.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Phoebe: And this time, theyve ganged up to form one giant, super hat.
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
(They get inside and notice on small problem.)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Phoebe Sr: (on phone) Ah, oh, hang on a second. (to Phoebe) Come in, come in. (on phone) All right, so think about it, and call me back. (hangs up)
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Chandler: Bored and bored!
Phoebe: Im kind, caring, and sweet. Whats Monica like?
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it.
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
(Monica rolls, and Ross goes first.)
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
(Ross and Bonnie enter)
Ross and Bonnie: Us too.
(Joey looks down and his look turns from shock to satisfaction.)
Rachel: Oh, ah nothin. I just felt like hangin out here and reading.
Bonnie: Oh, the water was sooo great! We jumped off this pier and my suit came off.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, some people call that breaking and entering.
All: Wow!! (they all recoil in shock and horror)
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Joey and Chandler coming outside.)
(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)
Joey and Chandler: Gnight.
(Rachel walks inside, stops, and turns back to look at Ross for a moment then goes upstairs.)
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
Phoebe: Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Phoebe Sr: Y'know I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just, I kinda felt all floopy, and...
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Ross: I know, but ahhhhhh!! I really wanna go up there and finish that kiss!
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
Joey: Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnies free tonight?
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, youve just had your first class!
Monica: Yknow I used to go out with this guy that was a really light sleeper, and whenever I started to snore, he would just roll me over
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Ross: Youre great. And I-I know someday this will happen for you too. You just hang in there.
Ross: So listen uh, I know you and I havent really had a chance to talk since uh, Emily and I decided to get married, and uh, I was just wondering how you were.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is not doing the dishes. She hears someone coming up the stairs and quickly puts down her magazine and pretends like shes actually doing the dishes.]
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing the dishes.]
The Saleslady: And could I get my ring back?
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
(She disgustedly takes the ring off and gives it back.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, hes snoring again and Chandler is there to roll him over.]
Monica: Does she use the cups? Yes! I believe she does. Does she use the plates? Yes! I believe she does. (Looks at the wedding dress and stops.)
(She goes over and lets Phoebe bounce in wearing her own wedding dress.)
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Chandler: Because weddings are a great place to meet women, and when I dance, I look like this (Starts to dancing really, really, really badly. Ross enters behind him and he stops.)
JOEY: Well then tell me things like, 'Joey you'll be fine,' and, 'Hang in there,' and, and, 'Somethin' big's fonna come along, I know it.'
Joey and Chandler: What?!
Ross: Great! Because Emily and I are getting married in a month!
Rachel: Ohh, nothing, I just wanted to see you. See you and hug you. (Hugs him) See you.
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Sleep Clinic Worker: Um-hmm, and did you stay up all night in preparation for your sleep study. (Joey doesnt answer) Uh, sir? (Joey starts snoring)
(She turns around and throws the bouquet to Phoebe.)
Chandler: Youre coming on to the entire room! (He goes over to pick up a stack of magazines next to her, and to get her attention, he throws them back down.) Im Chandler.
(As she leaves, a beautiful woman enters and sits down across from the boys.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe turns and throws it on the couch.)
(She throws it straight, and Monica makes a big deal about catching it.)
[Starts to walk down the aisle, unfortunately she doesn't realize that her dress is bunched up in her underwear and her butt is showing.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is putting away the wedding dress, finally.]
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
Rachel: And I-I am just trying to figure out why.
Rachel: Well, yeah, yknow how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again.
Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebes lap.)
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are sitting and talking.]
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Phoebe: Really?! I looked into that. Yeah, but, I mean it costs like $60,000 and yknow you can die. And, you would die!
Phoebe: So you guysll stay here and hang out with me?
Chandler: But Ill tell you something. One of these days were get off of our buts and rent Die Hard again!
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Monica: Hey! (She jumps up and throws Emilys wedding dress into Rachels room.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are finishing up some cookies.]
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
(A woman enters wearing a wet wedding dress and frantically starts to look around.)
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. [she playfully rubs his head and gets up]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are talking about passion.]
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
(She opens the door and they kiss.)
Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are arguing.]
[The next clip is the second famous fight in The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break.]
Rachel: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
[Cut back to the present, Ross is still looking at Rachel's invitation. Finally, he makes up his mind and mails it.]
(He thinks about it and decides to join in by turning over a chair and continue ransacking the place.)
Monica: Ohh, this is soo amazing! I cant believe my brothers getting married! And in London! Its so romantic!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are opening their invitations.]
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
(Rachel starts going through her mail, and come across her invitation.)
[And with that, we go into another set of clips, this time from Rachels point of view.]
(Rachel, Ross and Phoebe have their hands full and are stuffing all kinds of things down Joeys pants.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Phoebe: (singing) Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Rachel: Oh... (opens it and sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to hang up on Julie.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is introducing Julie to the gang.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross is checking his messages.]
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y(Rachel grabs the phone and hangs it up for him.)
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
Chandler and Joey: Ohhh.
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross and Rachel.... You Know.]
(Ross and Rachel hug.)