words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
(Monica and Chandler come running in.)
(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Ross: Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head.
Joey: Oh! (In an announcer type voice) And so the miracle of life begins, and aaiiyyyeeee! (He grabs his side and doubles over in pain.)
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
[Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.]
Rachel: What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.
Rachel: Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.
Joey: Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, (snaps his fingers and in a sexy voice) Grandma's chicken salad
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Ross: Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway?
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Phoebe: Hi! And you're going into what grade?
(He runs out and Frank watches him go.)
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
[Scene: The delivery room, Dr. Harad is back and checking on Phoebe.]
Dr. Harad: All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky.
Rachel: Honey, y'know I just gotta tell you, I think this is such a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!
[Scene: Joey's room, his doctor, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Frank are there.]
(Dr. Harad drops what he's doing and stares at her.)
Frank: Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon, you couldn't just like do me a favor and like, like hold them in?
Dan: And it didn't feel so girlie during the Gulf War.
Chandler: Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)
Joey: I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! (He starts rocking back and forth, taking Ross with him.)
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
(They all kiss her and wish her luck.)
Dr. Harad: All right, I need a clamp, sterile towel, and channel 31.
(Dan turns on the TV and the Happy Days theme song comes on.)
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
(Phoebe screams in pain, and Frank screams with her.)
Frank: No-no ah, everything's okay. Everybody's healthy there's 30 fingers and 30 toes.
(They hug. And quickly that hug turns into a heated make out session, right there on the waiting room couch. Chandler, Rachel, and Monica quickly make their exits.)
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
[Scene: A hallway, Monica and Dan are talking.]
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
(They hand her the babies and leave them alone.)
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone is hanging out with Phoebe. Frank, Alice, and the kids aren't there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are finishing up some cookies.]
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
(A woman enters wearing a wet wedding dress and frantically starts to look around.)
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. [she playfully rubs his head and gets up]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are talking about passion.]
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
(She opens the door and they kiss.)
Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are arguing.]
[The next clip is the second famous fight in The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break.]
Rachel: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
[Cut back to the present, Ross is still looking at Rachel's invitation. Finally, he makes up his mind and mails it.]
(He thinks about it and decides to join in by turning over a chair and continue ransacking the place.)
Monica: Ohh, this is soo amazing! I cant believe my brothers getting married! And in London! Its so romantic!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are opening their invitations.]
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
(Rachel starts going through her mail, and come across her invitation.)
[And with that, we go into another set of clips, this time from Rachels point of view.]
(Rachel, Ross and Phoebe have their hands full and are stuffing all kinds of things down Joeys pants.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Phoebe: (singing) Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Rachel: Oh... (opens it and sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to hang up on Julie.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is introducing Julie to the gang.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross is checking his messages.]
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y(Rachel grabs the phone and hangs it up for him.)
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
Chandler and Joey: Ohhh.
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross and Rachel.... You Know.]
(Ross and Rachel hug.)
Rachel: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Yasmein Bleeth running on TV, and the duck starts quacking.]
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are finally breaking up for good, or is it?]
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . (She jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Rachel, Monica, Roy, and Chip: Bye.
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
[Scene: Central Perk, I'm sure you've guessed, it's the famous fight scene between Ross and Rachel.]
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
Rachel: I know. (Starts to cry) Yeah, see, theres so much to do and I have so little time to do it in.
Monica: You dont have a car. And your license expired.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Joey: Heyyy. (They all try and hide their invitations.)
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Monica: Yeah I can! (Laughs) And dont think I dont, because I do! I mean all the time, you betcha! (Laughs.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, dont you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
Monica: What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come youre having a party and were not invited?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are talking over party plans.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is returning from shopping and Rachel is there.]
Joey: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, Ive got you, me, and Chandler and Im gonna invite Gunther cause, well, weve been talking about this pretty loud.
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.
Monica: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (Its a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)
Rachel: Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants shes always wanted!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebes baby shower, she is holding those leather pants, and isnt happy about it.]
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
CHANDLER: Alright you guys are off to party number one [ushers 3 guys into Monica's apartment] and you, you are off to party number two [ushers four women into his apartment. Two guys try to follow and Chandler blocks them and shoos them off to Monica's apartment] Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin.
The Stripper: Wow, I didnt know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets.
Ross: Oh, thanks! (Takes it and throws it back into the box and leaves.)
Chandler: Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan Forever.
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
Monica: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove), okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and (Points to Ross) You go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Joey: Dude, this isnt funny! What am I gonna do?! I go to bed last night, everythings cool! I wake up this morning, the strippers gone and the ring is gone!
Joey: Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther dont-dont forget your shirt. (He gives Gunther his shirt and Gunther leaves.)
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.