words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
Monica: Oh my God! You cleaned! (Gasps) Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!
Chandler: Look, shes really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Phoebe: Wow! What an incredible violationand wonderful surprise.
Rachel: Well, I havent discussed it with him yet, but I know hes gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Rachel: And Im Rachel, an admirer of the building.
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is observing the new maid, Brenda, clean.]
Monica: Oh well umm, I make it myself! Its two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is yknow what? We just met.
Brenda: Okay. Uhh, Im gonna go get the clothes from the laundry room now. And, when I come back Ill clean behind the refrigerator.
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
Chandler: So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah try that. (He finishes and looks at her.) So, is that better?
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is sweeping and Monica is sitting at the kitchen table.]
(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
Eric: Absolutely. (They kiss and Phoebe heads for the door.) I love the way you kiss.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is shaking out the rugs on the balcony as Monica pouts in the living room.]
Monica: No! I was just getting into position and then everything went dark.
Monica: Fine. (Brenda comes in to use the bathroom and adjusts her pink bra strap on the way.) Shes wearing my bra!
Chandler: And yet you dont recognize that youre crazy.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Ross: All right then. (Follows her in and checks the place out.)
Eric: Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is wiping the coffee table and Chandler is trying to look at her bra and leans over on the coffee table to get a good look.]
Brenda: Okay. (Goes over and fluffs up the pillows on the couch.
Chandler: Yes! Its flown into your blouse and youd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Rachel: Youre so sweet. (Notices something in the crib.) Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy! (A stuffed penguin wearing a ski jacket, goggles, and hat.)
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Joey: It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy.
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)
Rachel: Excuse me! (and she walks back to Joey, who is still looking very impressed about what Ross said to him. Rachel looks at him and hits him.) You didn't tell him, did you?
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
[Scene: Mike's apartment. Phoebe's there and the phone rings.]
Joey: I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler.
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's carrying the laundry hamper to their coffee table.]
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
Monica: You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH!
Monica: And the eye!
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.
Rachel: Well, yeah... Okay, look it's about me and...
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Monica: Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck.
(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Joey enters.]
Ross: Oh, not another one! Oh my G... And this is moisturiser. It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
Joey: Alright, alright, okay, uhm... How 'bout this, how about this? Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together.
Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey and Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: And have you .. ed?
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
Monica: And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle)
Transcribed by: PHDB (phdb2000@hotmail.com) and Sebastiano (sebapop@libero.it)
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Charlie: And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want.
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
Joey: Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk!
Phoebe: Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?
(Bill and Colleen look shocked.)
Monica: It's.. It's just so pretty and white.
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.]
(Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.)
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Frank Jr.: What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
Chandler: Where are Bill and Colleen?
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler comes running into the living room. Monica is the only one there.]
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
(Bill and Colleen enter.)
Monica: Oh my god, where's my purse? No, you know what? I can replace everything in there. Get that binder, and let's go!
Phoebe: Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together.
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Owen: He told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
Gary: Yeah, we took a little stroll in the park and no one was around, so
Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
Transcribed by: r3v3LaT1oN with corrections and additional information by Keith Owen
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Rachel: Yknow, you-you also couldve used uh, lamps and then followed the light.
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Ross: And she feels the same way?
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Joey: And we're okay?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
Chandler: Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him.
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
Written by: Brian Buckner Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa
Chandler: So, you and Rachel tonight, huh?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
[Scene:Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are on the couch]
Chandler: ...and beer!!
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Monica: I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)
Chandler: You mean like this? (he starts touching his thigh in a funny and awkard way)
Monica: Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...)
Ross: I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I havent done that since I was four and I washed my dads Porsche with rocks.
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Ross: Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat.