words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
Monica: Oh my God! You cleaned! (Gasps) Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!
Chandler: Look, shes really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Phoebe: Wow! What an incredible violationand wonderful surprise.
Rachel: Well, I havent discussed it with him yet, but I know hes gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Rachel: And Im Rachel, an admirer of the building.
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is observing the new maid, Brenda, clean.]
Monica: Oh well umm, I make it myself! Its two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is yknow what? We just met.
Brenda: Okay. Uhh, Im gonna go get the clothes from the laundry room now. And, when I come back Ill clean behind the refrigerator.
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
Chandler: So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah try that. (He finishes and looks at her.) So, is that better?
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is sweeping and Monica is sitting at the kitchen table.]
(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
Eric: Absolutely. (They kiss and Phoebe heads for the door.) I love the way you kiss.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is shaking out the rugs on the balcony as Monica pouts in the living room.]
Monica: No! I was just getting into position and then everything went dark.
Monica: Fine. (Brenda comes in to use the bathroom and adjusts her pink bra strap on the way.) Shes wearing my bra!
Chandler: And yet you dont recognize that youre crazy.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Ross: All right then. (Follows her in and checks the place out.)
Eric: Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is wiping the coffee table and Chandler is trying to look at her bra and leans over on the coffee table to get a good look.]
Brenda: Okay. (Goes over and fluffs up the pillows on the couch.
Chandler: Yes! Its flown into your blouse and youd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Rachel: Youre so sweet. (Notices something in the crib.) Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy! (A stuffed penguin wearing a ski jacket, goggles, and hat.)
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
Man: Well umm, if you have sometime yknow and maybe you might want to visit someone else
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
[Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.]
PHOEBE: Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]
Phoebe: (coming back for Joey) No! (Grabs Joey and drags him away.)
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Joey: And what is his name?
(He hops onto the bed and they start making out.)
[Scene: An Empty Hospital Room, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Phoebe: No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see whats he like. People tell doctors everything.
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Dr. Long: We are moving along, just slowly. (Rachel lies back and sighs.) Dont worry, youre doing great. Ill be back soon. (Exits.)
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
Doctor: And here it is! (The baby cries.)
Joey: Excellent! Excellent! And uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff yknow, sexually?
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
Joey: Oh really? So, 33 and still single, would you say you have commitment issues?
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Joey: He seemed like a stand up guy. Oh, and hes not into anything weird sexually.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (She gets up and grabs a spoon.)
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Pete: Y'know I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adams Apple, but that really hurt.
Rachel: Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out.
Amy: I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby?
Cliff: And then you tried to make me think that I was crazy.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Joey: Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but Im really more of a candy guy. (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Ross: You have no idea how much this hurts. (All of the women in the room turn and glare at him.) Keep going! Keep going!
Joey: Hi! Im Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.
(Ross and Rachel look into each others eyes and kiss.)
Monica: Oh my God! Shes amazing. Oh, oh Im so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are trying the home remedies again.]
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
Rachel: And if its a girl?
Chandler: And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks at Aaron and recoils in horror.) Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesnt he?
Janice: Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and gets married?
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
Rachel: Uh-huh. (Ross takes off his coat and sets in on a chair.) Yknow what I was, I was thinking about?
(No one can and Monica looks at Joey expectantly.)
Phoebe: I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything.
Rachel: Ive just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
Rachel: Oh please, hell be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs.
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, thats the first A Ive gotten since seventh grade, and I didnt have to sleep with the teacher this time.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
{Transcribers Note: As with all the cliffhangers, there was no credits scene. There will be a ninth and final season of Friends starting sometime in September. See you then, have a good summer everyone.}
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.
Monica: Umm, and looking at people differently.
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, everyone but Rachel is standing and looking into the window.]
Chandler: And you did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose!
Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)
Chandler: Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose?
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Phoebe: (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel?
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Rachel: And you really think this is a good idea?
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Rachel: Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your mouth.
Monica: Okay! It's time for dinner. Everyone we're using our fancy china.. um and its very expensive so please be careful.
Rachel: (standing up) Okay. Yknow what? Id have to say I really dont care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in this city and we have no problem toWhoa! (She starts a contraction) Oh gosh! Whoa!
Phoebe: No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged!
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
[Scene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.]