words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Chandler: Our eyes are closed and were about to cross the street. Very good.
(They open their eyes and are stunned at the van.)
Phoebe: No, were gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette.
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Phoebe: Oh, in that case(hops up and down in joy)Yay! (Monica looks confused) That was me hopping on board.
Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?
Chandler: Im gonna call and get off work tomorrow!
Chandler and Ross: Woooo!!!
Joey: Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book?
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Rachel: (interrupting) And thats Im so glad theres no problem.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready to party.]
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Ross: (entering) Hey! Okay! I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snake bite kit!
Chandler and Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: I couldnt eat it! I had five friends who couldnt eat it, and one of them eats books.
Monica: All right, that Ill retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasnt it. Youre marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery.
Monica: Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from?
Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Joanna: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.
Rachel: And an assistant.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Ross: Its Gandolf, and hes not coming.
Chandler: Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.
Joey: So what if he didnt come! We can still go out and party ourselves!
Ross: Yeah! Wed meet, wed meet total strangers, and hang out with them!
Joey: Well do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on!
Chandler: And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again?
Joey and Ross: Yeah!!!
Chandler: Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is entering, excited.]
Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandros came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!
Phoebe: I dont know, it would totally depend on her coloring and (realizes) You got the job!!
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Monica: All right. But umm, I-I-Ill pay you back all the money you invested, and you can keep the van.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Joey: All right, so well get a little coffee, and get energized, and well head back out.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah!
Ross: And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Mrs. Lynch: Well, she was leaving work and she was hit by a cab.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
Chandler: Monica and I are engaged.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
[Scene: Kleinmans, a horde of women including Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica are waiting for the store to open.]
Chandler: Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?
(They all say to Monica, clink their glasses, and drink.)
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
(They all agree and start to go and get ready.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, theyre getting ready.]
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is trying out different cookie recipes. Ross and Phoebe are the tasting group.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]
Ross: Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]
(Rachel mixes them up in her hands, moves them all around, and puts her hands behind her back.)
Ross: You mean, weyou and me?
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, no, no! We, you with someone and me with someone.
Ross: I meanno, its just cause, its just cause you and I were like a nightmare. (Screams.) No, but there was some good times.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Joey: Wow thanks! (He goes into his bedroom and closes the door.)
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Monica: Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from before the commercial break. Monica is walking into the apartment followed by Ross and Rachel.]
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
PHOEBE: Oh, well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff.
Monica: No its not! No! No! Now its about you and Ross getting back together!
MONICA: Yeah, we switched meat suppliers at work, and the new guys gave me the steaks as sort of a thank-you.
Rachel: Yeah. No. And you know what? Nobody even saw!
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
(Chandler and Joey enter and overhear that.)
Phoebe: Well yeah, that and Chandlers problem.
Phoebe: What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)
Ross: And; people thinking its huge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
(They go open the door and reveal Monica being spun around on the floor polisher and getting the cord wrapped around her legs.)
Joey: Would she? (He smells something and gasps as he realizes what it is.) You ate my candy bar!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Rachel: What do you think Monica mean when she said she didnt want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing.
(They start making out and both start to feel something growing below the belt line.)
Rachel: Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Chandler: All right!! (Gets out and Joey speeds away.) Wait! Wait, there's no sidewalk! Yeah, I'm gonna die here.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Chandler is showing Rachel the ring.]
Joey: And thatll get rid of my wisdom?
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Phoebe: Yeah! And if you wanna look 19, then you You gotta do something about your eyes.
(Monica opens the door to Ross and Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
(Rachel ignores him and follows Monica into the kitchen.)
Chandler: What a great apology! (To Monica) And you accept! Okay, bye-bye!
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Monica: And yet, here we are doing it again.
(Ross tries to dismiss it by making that sound, but decides to go for it and follows Rachel.)
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Ross: Okay, we could still make dinner if we skipped the appetisers and asked for our check right away.
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is singing outside Monica and Chandlers door.]
Ross: (at the door) And uh, Rachel.
"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. Thats right, Im here all night, and Chandler will never get l "
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there having breakfast and Joey enters carrying a loaf of bread.]
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
Joey: Good, me too. (Tosses him the loaf.) Eggs and milk are in the fridge. Thanks.
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Ross: Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.
Ross: Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel and Monica are pretty much telling Chandler what the wedding plans are.]
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Chandler: Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
[Time lapse, dinner is now finished and Ross is looking out the window.]
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Ross: And they knew about it?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sweeping up as Rachel enters.]
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
(Ross isnt happy and closes the door slowly.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are having dinner with her parents.]
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
(The guys takes a hockey stick and slips it through the handles then proceeds to take the stereo and Chandlers computer and walk out.)
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Ross: Okay! Now, Im going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, thats soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning from dinner, Rachel is already there.]
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Rachel and Monica: Ah, yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Rachel enters and sees Joey sitting there.]
Phoebe: Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]