words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Chandler: Our eyes are closed and were about to cross the street. Very good.
(They open their eyes and are stunned at the van.)
Phoebe: No, were gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette.
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Phoebe: Oh, in that case(hops up and down in joy)Yay! (Monica looks confused) That was me hopping on board.
Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?
Chandler: Im gonna call and get off work tomorrow!
Chandler and Ross: Woooo!!!
Joey: Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book?
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Rachel: (interrupting) And thats Im so glad theres no problem.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready to party.]
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Ross: (entering) Hey! Okay! I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snake bite kit!
Chandler and Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: I couldnt eat it! I had five friends who couldnt eat it, and one of them eats books.
Monica: All right, that Ill retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasnt it. Youre marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery.
Monica: Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from?
Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Joanna: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.
Rachel: And an assistant.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Ross: Its Gandolf, and hes not coming.
Chandler: Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.
Joey: So what if he didnt come! We can still go out and party ourselves!
Ross: Yeah! Wed meet, wed meet total strangers, and hang out with them!
Joey: Well do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on!
Chandler: And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again?
Joey and Ross: Yeah!!!
Chandler: Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is entering, excited.]
Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandros came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!
Phoebe: I dont know, it would totally depend on her coloring and (realizes) You got the job!!
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Monica: All right. But umm, I-I-Ill pay you back all the money you invested, and you can keep the van.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Joey: All right, so well get a little coffee, and get energized, and well head back out.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah!
Ross: And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Mrs. Lynch: Well, she was leaving work and she was hit by a cab.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Monica: Well, next time your massaging him, you should try and distract yourself.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
(Janice starts to breath into it and sucks in the reciept, and then spits it out.)
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
Joey, Chander, and Ross: Sorry.
Monica: Oh, about five minutes. Right now theyre interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, forget it! Ill never be any good at this, my mom was right, Im just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isnt what it looks like, cause Rick is my ahh, husband.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Monica: Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?
[Scene: Central Perk, the next morning. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
(Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman.)
Rachel: Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Monica: Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there.
[Joey opens the door and picks up the remnants of the newspaper.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
RACH: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is walking into the living room having just gotten up in the middle of the night.]
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
Chandler: Hey! (Runs over and gets his wonder broom)
Ross: No, look, uh. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right, I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
Chandler: Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty.
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are there.]
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
RACHEL: Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time.
Rachel: Okay. (He starts to leave, and Rachel grabs him and gives him a passionate kiss.) I'll miss you.
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?
[Scene: A street, Chandler is buying a newspaper and notices Kathy running by.]
(Phoebe runs into the kitchen with wet hair, opens the window, and sticks her head outside.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Monica about his new baby sitting job.]
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
(Joey and Kathy enter, laughing)
Joey: Ah-ha-ha, you guys owe me big time. (He walks into the kitchen and does a little dance step on the way.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.
Joey: Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?
Joey: Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from a date with Josh, and when they get the door open, Rachel turns and passionately kisses Josh.]
Phoebe: (picking up Monica's used Kleenex and putting some in her pocket.) Sure.
Phoebe: (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.
(Monica sets the soup down and Phoebe picks it up and licks the rim.)
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.
Kathy: Okay. Understanding a little more why you're single. Ohh! Y'know, I have a friend you would like, she's really pretty. And then we could double date!
Rachel: I mean y'know, I'm thinking. You could bring her, and you guys could go up to your old room, and not make out.
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]
Phoebe: No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out hes incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Ross: You see Amanda and I have a very special...
(Phoebe grabs Gunther and kisses him. He then falls to the couch in shock.)
CHANDLER: Ok, think, what would Jack and Chrissy do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Phoebe: (singing) And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies.
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Chandler: Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
[Cheryl walks away and Ross walks inside. Everyone stares at him in disbelief.]
(Rachel watches that and slowly backs out to head for home.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
Monica: Really? Cause I'd need like $500 for all the food and the supplies and stuff.
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and a beautiful blonde (Cheryl) are standing outside. The rest of the gang is watching from inside.]
[Scene: A kitchen where Phoebe and Monica are finishing up a catering job]
Monica: Um, and, well there's the.. the the small matter of...
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Chip: ...and then Zana, just let one rip!! (laughs histerically)
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, only slightly later.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel, Rachel is there, Chandler enters.]
Ross: No! And somehow, we ended up with a joint checking account.
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Rachel: Oh! Pathetic! (Grabs the crossword puzzle and starts writing.)
Phoebe: Good. (Phoebe and Mrs. Burkart go into the other room, leaving Monica with everyone staring at her.)
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Mrs. Burkart: (Singing) Come on along and listen to...
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Rachel: Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.