words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Chandler: Our eyes are closed and were about to cross the street. Very good.
(They open their eyes and are stunned at the van.)
Phoebe: No, were gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette.
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Phoebe: Oh, in that case(hops up and down in joy)Yay! (Monica looks confused) That was me hopping on board.
Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?
Chandler: Im gonna call and get off work tomorrow!
Chandler and Ross: Woooo!!!
Joey: Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book?
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Rachel: (interrupting) And thats Im so glad theres no problem.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready to party.]
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Ross: (entering) Hey! Okay! I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snake bite kit!
Chandler and Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: I couldnt eat it! I had five friends who couldnt eat it, and one of them eats books.
Monica: All right, that Ill retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasnt it. Youre marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery.
Monica: Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from?
Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Joanna: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.
Rachel: And an assistant.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Ross: Its Gandolf, and hes not coming.
Chandler: Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.
Joey: So what if he didnt come! We can still go out and party ourselves!
Ross: Yeah! Wed meet, wed meet total strangers, and hang out with them!
Joey: Well do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on!
Chandler: And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again?
Joey and Ross: Yeah!!!
Chandler: Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is entering, excited.]
Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandros came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!
Phoebe: I dont know, it would totally depend on her coloring and (realizes) You got the job!!
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Monica: All right. But umm, I-I-Ill pay you back all the money you invested, and you can keep the van.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Joey: All right, so well get a little coffee, and get energized, and well head back out.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah!
Ross: And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Mrs. Lynch: Well, she was leaving work and she was hit by a cab.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
Chandler: Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down while he zips his zipper up... other patrons look at him) How ya doin'?
Mark: ...and the style number, and the invoice number, and the shipping date. Good. Any questions so far?
Joey: And I was tired from digging the huge hole!
Phoebe: Oh No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Monica: And processing.
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
Chandler and Joey: YEAH!!! YES!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Ross: No, Im getting back down cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but shes like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: Done! I did it! Heh, whos stupid now? (He smiles and has cookie remains all over his teeth.)
Kiki: Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true!
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
Joey: (gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)
Monica: All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because its been three days and its driving me insane!
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7, and Kate waves good bye.)
Monica, Rachel, and Joey: Yes!
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Joey: Sure I can, standard shotgun rules, Im sight of the room and I called it.
Ross and Rachel: Ooohhhh!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are there.]
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Rachel: Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.
Phoebe: Its mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Ross: He couldn't even tell me! He said it was just some sort of skin... abnormality. And the worst thing is he-he-he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Joey: Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in.
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it.
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Monica: Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, Im cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey's grandmother are still watching Law & Order.]
Joey: Well I guess I shouldve thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Frank: We were having lunch. Yeah and then all of the sudden we were like, "Hey! Y'know, were here, having lunch lets get married!
Frank: Oh I know!! (Both he and Alice squeal hysterically)
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are trying to throw cards into a vase.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is approaching the bathroom door behind which Chandler is using the facility.]
Chandler, Monica, and Rachel: Great!! Thats great!
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Phoebe: Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!
Kathy: Oh! (They kiss and she leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are kissing.]
Monica: And the sex?
Monica: In the beginning where yknow its all sex and talking and sex and talking and
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Knicks season opener tonight. I thought maybe you guys would come over and watch it.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating dinner, Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Another woman enters without a coat or blazer and tries to sit at the blue table.)
Ross: But hey, its not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together.
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Monica: All right, Im gonna show you something a lot of guys dont know. Rach, give me that pad, please? (She does so and Monica starts drawing on it) All right. Now
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Joey: Noo-no-no, no, those are nicknames. Im the chick and Chandler is the duck.
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
Rachel: Oo, toes!! Well, for some people. (Chandler eyes her and her toes.)
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
Joey: You cant just ignore the bet! Its a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet!
Another Scientist: And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die.