words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is mixing some Thanksgiving treat (Im assuming mashed potatoes) in a bowl.]
Monica: Yeah, and yknow, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
[Joey and Ross drop their video game controllers.]
Janine: Well, me and my dancer friends are thinking of doing Thanksgiving uptown. I thought you guys might like to come.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
[Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel laugh]
[Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey and Ross: Hey!
Ross: And the place looks so nice!
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Phoebe: And who else is going to be there?
Joey: (frustrated) Yes, all right? All of her hot dancer friends are gonna be there and theyre gonna be, be drinkin and dancin, and we really wanna go!
Monica: Youre not gonna go anywhere, you said you were gonna eat here, and youre gonna eat here!
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]
[Kisses and hugs are exchanged.]
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
[Chandler, trying to make nice with Jack, laughs at his joke and points at Jack.]
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
[Chandler and Monica exchange worried looks.]
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]
Rachel: (teasingly) And while Im gone dont you boys sneak a taste.
Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Monica: Dad, please dont pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if youre gonna put your feet up, why dont you sit on the-
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
Rachel: So why dont you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright?
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Ross: And um...You look nice today.
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
[Ross and Rachel re-enter.]
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
[Monica takes a bigger spoonful and a pea falls off]
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Chandler: (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that Im gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
[Jack and Judy exit to Monicas room.]
[Rachel and Chandler re-emerge from the balcony.]
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
Phoebe: Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
Ross: Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Monica: And Dad, yknow that mailman that you got fired? He didnt steal your Playboys! Ross did!
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Rachel: You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldnt feel bad!
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Joey: Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too.
Chandler: Okay umm, before I meant you I had really little life and I couldnt imagine growing old with
Chandler: Yes! Im fine. In fact Ive been fine for a long time now and I think, the reason is you.
Chandler: Hey-hey, hey! (Gets up and hugs him.) I dont know why I did that!
Joey: And-and-and-and-and-and, and were gonna be friends again!
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Zoe: Shut the door! Shut the door!! (Runs over and closes the door.)
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Monica: And so, were hiding in the bathroom.
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Chandler: (goes to hug him and stops short) HeyyyyWhat?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
Joey: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Rachel: (entering) Hey! (Sees Monica, gasps, and runs over to her.) Oh my God youre here, let me see your hand!!
[Scene: Outside of Elizabeths dormitory, Ross is exiting after breaking up with her and we can hear his thoughts.]
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
(We hear the backup horn of a truck and see through the window that the Mr. Bowmont has arrived.)
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Phoebe: Most people dont like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and Im already going crazy. I miss Joan.
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Rachel: Isnt it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin married.
Rachel: I mean Im probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean whats 2%? Thats nothing.
Rachel: Im so happy and not at all jealous.
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
[Scene: A Pizza Joint, Chandler and Monica are eating lunch.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still talking.]
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Youre all gonna be aunts and uncles.
Ross: (realizes something) The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures.
Kristen: You look strong, why dont I take that and you grab one of the boxes.
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
(Theres a knock on the door, he shuts the TV off, and answers it.)
Phoebe: Oh, I want to look too! (She runs over and sits down and checks out a picture). Yikes!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is entering to find Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, on the phone.]
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Joey: Or! You can just, yknow (He walks up close to whisper in Rosss ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
Chandler: Okay. (Starts running for the bedroom) Im gonna get the ring! Im gonna get the ring! (Does so) Im gonna go find her and (starts running for the door) Im just going to propose!
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Monica: But getting over was the hardest thing that Ive ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Rachel: Okay, hold on real quick, hold on a second let me just uh, (sits on the counter and buttons her sweater to show some cleavage) get a little more comfortable here. Wait, now wait a second, this isnt too revealing is it?
Rachel: Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I mean, the connection, I mean yknow, emotionally, mentally, physically
Richard: Shes not here and please come in.
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Ross: (disinterested) Hey-yeah. (He hurries up to the counter.) Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? (To the gang.) Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily!
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Announcer: From New York City, New York! Appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut! Hes known for his confrontational business style. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Pete Beck-errrr!!
Grandma Tribbiani: No, it's Sam Waterston! Crimes and Misdemeanors, Capricorn One.
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
Monica: Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon.
Chandler: Thats not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Dont say that I dont have goals!
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
(Rachel turns and gives him a look, and Joey quickly apologises.)
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
(Everyone screams and has a group hug.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Monica and I are engaged.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
[Scene: Kleinmans, a horde of women including Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica are waiting for the store to open.]
Chandler: Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?
(They all say to Monica, clink their glasses, and drink.)
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
(They all agree and start to go and get ready.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, theyre getting ready.]
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)