words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Monica: Are you scared?
Ross: You are, you're welling up.
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Monica: So then, are you going to dump Jason?
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
[Scene: Petes apartment, Pete and Monica are coming back from a date.]
Monica: What are you talking about?
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Ross: (stunned) Dude, what are you doing?
Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body.
Joey: Yeah. What are we getting?
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
Monica: Hey, are we still on for tonight?
Rachel: (entering, interrupting them) Hey guys! What's... (sees what they're doing and stops, the guys are stunned)
[Scene: The Ultimate Fighting Championship, Ross and Monica are there watching Pete.]
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Monica: Well, youre not gonna get going are you?
Phoebe: Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea.
[Scene: The street outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are talking and walking.]
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Monica: You are insane! You-you gotta give this up!
Pete: I cant until Im the ultimate fighter. I will do it. Im telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, Im not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid.
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross and Mike are sitting on the sofa.� Ross is fidgeting with the cuff of his sweater while Mike blows his cheeks out.� Ross blows a piece of fuzz from his finger.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Phoebe: No-no, sorry. Cookies are good, thanks.
Phoebe: (entering) Are you ah, Phoebe Abott?
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
The Croupier: Comin' out. Place your bet. (Monica does so.) Dice are out. (The woman next to Monica rolls the dice.) Double or nothin'! Pay the front line! (Monica won and doubled the chip.)
Monica: What are you crazy?!
Phoebe: Oh, so, how are we doing?
Chandler: I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!
Ross: Whoa, hey! What are doing? Trying to get me drunk?
Bonnie: What are you guys doing?!
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Bonnie: Yeah, thank you Rachel, you are soo cool.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Phoebe: Well, are any of those people here?!
Phoebe Sr: What are you doing here?!
Joey: Im telling ya, you guys are totally getting back together!
Ross: Linda Clickclocken. (Pause) So what uh, what-what table are you at? (She shows him.) Oh, uh me too.
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
Rachel: Well, cant you tell her that you are not in the mood?
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Monica: Sweety, what are you talking about?
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Rachel: Are you sure?
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
RUSS: Oh, you are the, uh... paleontologist.
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are playing cards at the dinner table.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are there. Monica is checking the messages.]
Rachel: Okay. (picks up phone) Are you sure you wanna hear this?
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: Althea?! What are you doing?!
Chip: Here, we are.
Chandler: Are you all right?!
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
RACHEL: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Joey: Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone.
Rachel: So honey, what are you gonna do about the little girl?
Joey: Hey!! We are so in luck! Treeger said that we could have all this cool stuff from the basement. Wait right there. (Goes back into the hall)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Doing great, the quiches are coming along.
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there.]
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
Monica: Then why are you laughing?
(They start kissing again, but are interrupted by the phone.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Chandler: You are, youre gonna leave me like this?
Chandler: Hi! (to Sophie) How are you?
PHOE: No, you are not, you are very attractive. You know what, I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everyting.
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
[Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
Phoebe: Wow! My breasts are really strong. (She goes and joins Monica.)
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
Chandler: Okay, heres the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are still negotiating.]
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Chandler, are there.]
Joanna: No, we are. Im sad.
Mr. Treeger:: What are you doing?
The Salesman: (Entering before Joey can say anything) Good afternoon, are you the decision maker of the house?
Chandler: Ah-ha, youre not the boss of me. (She kisses him) Yeah, you are! (She handcuffs him to the chair) Ooh, saucy.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]