words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross and the janitor are in the nocturnal house.]
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Monica: Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?
Janice: Why are your eyes so white?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
Monica: How are we gonna do that? Theres no way.
Joey: What are you ah, what are you gonna do?
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Janice are there.]
[Scene: A wintry February day in New York City, snowplows are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.]
Janice: Honey, honey, people are looking.
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
Chandler: But wait a minute though, how are we gonna get there, though, because my Mom wont let me cross the street.
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
Joey: All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but thats different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean?
Woman: (in a foreign accent) You are playing American football?
Ross: Im sorry, I dont believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there, the guys are watching football, the girls are cooking Thanksgiving dinner.]
Rachel: All right, so are we not having dinner at all?
Joey: What are you gonna do?
Rachel: Are you gonna let me play?
Chandler and Joey: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?
Monica: We have to do this. We are playing for women everywhere. Okay, just think about every lousy date that you ever had, okay, every guy who kept on the TV while youre making out...
Phoebe: All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys?
Rachel: Im so sorry! Are you okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
[Scene: The park, its dark outside and Monica and Ross are still fighting over the ball.]
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Joey: Hey. What, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
Phoebe: Chandler what are you doing?!
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Monica: (comes up and starts looking through Rosss cookie supply) Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
Guy: (muffled) Whoa, you are very beautiful.
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
Monica: Are we playing football or what? Come on you hairy-backed Marries.
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Cookie: Hey. What are we drinkin over here.
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Rachel: So, how are you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Rachel: Chandler! Youre smoking? What are you doing?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Monica: Are you crazy?!
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
Rachel: What are you doing here?
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Phoebe: What are you wrapping?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are there.]
Ross: Are you jealous?
Ross: You are totally jealous.
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Ross: So, are you gonna see him again?
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Richard: Tomatoes are squishing.
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Phoebe: What? (the guys keep laughing.) What? You guys, what is going on? You not like Robert? (the guys keep laughing.) Why are you laughing?!
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Robert: (running in) Oh, there they are! I-I dropped my keys.
Monica: What are you smiling at?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
RACHEL: Well those are very popular frames.
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?