words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Ross: I dont think that we are.
Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are sitting at one of the high tables.]
Ross: (disinterested) Hey-yeah. (He hurries up to the counter.) Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? (To the gang.) Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily!
Joey: I can't believe you guys are moving.
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Chandler: I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Rachel: Because (laughs), because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel (laughs) was like, "You are such an idiot!"
Phoebe: Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?
Monica: What are you doing?
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Monica: Are you serious? You still see Dr. Gettleman?
Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.
Sally: Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent?
Sally: It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone?
Phoebe: yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen.
Ross: I know and yet here you are all ready for the next date.
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go.
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Rachel: well watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing?
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Monica:: Eww are you talking about my bother.
Monica:: you don't think sharks are sexy do you?
[Pete enters with his entourage all pumped up, and Ross and Monica are the only ones who stand up and cheer.]
Ross: oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that.
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Monica: What are you talking about? We�re all together right now.
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound � and the breasts of a Greek goddess.
Chandler: But, those are for you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
[Scene: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a table for six.]
Chandler: Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that�s true.
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Ross: No, you both are equally capable. Its just.. you're strongest when.. when you're together.
Chandler: You are incredible. Unless, I�I�m not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)
Chandler: Uhh. You are welcome.
Phoebe: You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two?
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women.
Rachel: Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do?
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
Rachel: Phoebe, hi, we�re so sorry. You�re totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.
Phoebe: (writing in her book) Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis.
Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
Monica: Hey. There you are. You disappeared after dinner.
Phoebe: He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no...
Monica: What are you gonna do?
Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way)
Monica: Hi! There you are.
Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
Gym Employee: Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. (Both Chandler and Ross start to make their way to the membership office.) Uh, excuse me, (to Ross) are you a member?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She and David are still kissing each other in the living room.]
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
Monica: Oh... How are they?
Chandler: What are you guys talking about?
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
David: Why? Wh-What are you going to do about it?
Mike: Hey, what are you kidding me?
[Scene: Living room. Joey and Sandy are talking with the Snufflebumps.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.]
Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...
Sandy: But you are a real boy!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Sandy are sitting at the kitchen counter. Joey is holding mr. Wigglemunch, and Sandy holds the Grumpus.]
Monica: Oh wait.. What are you doing?
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
Amy: No! What are you going to do? Make me?
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them.
Rachel: Are you okay Mon?
Amy starting to cry: You are not going to regret this.
CHANDLER: Yep.� That's a lot of cats Jo Lynn.� Single are ya?
JOEY: No, no, no.� When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game . . .� courtside!
CHANDLER: But hey, it's courtside.� The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr. . . (Pause)� That's not the way to convince you.
RACHEL: Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good.
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
RACHEL: Yeah, yeah.� Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun.� And thank you for watching the baby, by the way.
Mona: Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now youre-youre sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
JOEY: Okay.� (pause.� He looks over her shoulder at the table with the wine.)� Whoa, whoa.� Why are there two glasses of wine out?
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
[Scene: A bar.� Rachel and Phoebe are bringing their drinks from the bar to a sofa.]
[Scene: The bar.� Two men are chatting with Rachel and Phoebe.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
MONICA: What are you saying?
JOEY: Where are you going?
[Tag Scene: Central Perk.� Phoebe and Mike are on the sofa.� Ross enters.]
Rachel: What?! It goes ten times a day! What are we feeding this baby?! Indian food?!
MIKE: (nods) Things are about to get wild.