words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Ross: The data we are receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing of these fossils are - are staggering.
Chandler: (very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.
Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Phoebe: Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party.
Phoebe: Yeah. What-what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, it's great that you're back! How are you?
Chandler: Really? Are you sure?
Chandler: We are gonna be great parents.
Jeanette: (to Zack) Here are the boards for Friday's pitch (hands him something).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Chandler: Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression.
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
Joey: Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here!
Monica: What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike?
Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey).
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
[Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around]
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!
[Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails]
Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.]
Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys!
Monica: So, what are we gonna do today?
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
Charlie: (walking in) Hey! There you are!
Monica: (angry) Ow, what are the chances!
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Rachel: W-What are you, what are you talking about?
Joey: Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun.
Joey: (desperate) What the hell are you doin'???
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
[Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
Charlie: Are they still looking for us?
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
Monica: (in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are!
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
(They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room)
Ross: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Joey: Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: How... wha... Hey! What are you... What is this? Have you guys been listening this entire time?
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Rachel: (still can't find him) How are you doing this?
Rachel: Are they right?
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: Are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this...
Ross: Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, Im a doctor, and I had a monkey. Im Doctor Monkey!
Precious: Hi, I'm Precious, who are you?
Chandler: What are you singing?
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Manny: Your pants are undone!
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Ross: So you two are..?
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for.
Chandler: Where are Bill and Colleen?
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Joey: Dude, are you okay?
Rachel: Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
Ross: Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!
Joey: No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this?
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
[Scene:Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are on the couch]
Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent?
Monica: Oh, what are we gonna do! I don't wanna see her!!
Ross: Well... I like how you look, what are you?
[Scene: At the tanning salon. Ross and a male assistant are walking through a hall]
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
[scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting on the couch]
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
Amanda: Oh! Gosh! This is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times. I'm so happy you two are friends again!
Rachel: What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok?