words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Monica: Are you nuts?! We've got George Stephanopoulos' pizza! (Rachel pays him, Monica grabs some binoculars, and runs to the window.)
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Rachel: Are they in love?
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
[Scene: Chandler's office, Monica and him are at a party his office is throwing.]
Monica: Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating?
Doug: Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweethart?
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
Chandler: Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Chandler are returning from the game.]
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Ross: Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Phoebe: So are you actually gonna see her again?
Monica: My turn? What-what are you talking about?
Rachel: Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Are you serious?!
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
Monica: Wh-wh-what are you doing here? (She tries to pull her shirt down to cover the fact that she's wearing men's boxers.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Janice are sitting on the couch.]
Janice: Are you gonna be okay?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Wow that's uh, juicy. Umm, (checks watch) y'know what though Mon, I actually do have a lot of work to do so if-ifare you sure there's just not anything else?
Joey: Are you all right?
Rachel: No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
Ross: Hey, how are you holding up?
Rachel: You are the official baby crier stopper!
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Monica: What are you talking about?
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Frank Sr.: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Ross: Dr. Green. How are you? (offers his hand, and Dr. Green puts his scarf on it.)
Chandler: Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. (Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.) Are you okay?
Monica: You are so cute! How did you get to be so cute?
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
Monica: What are you talking about?
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler and Monica are there, of course. Like who else would it be, duh!]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
Rachel: Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us?
Chandler: Are you serious?
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
[Scene: Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are checking out the place. Luckily, Ugly Naked Guy is nowhere to be seen.]
Rachel: Are you kidding?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Chandler: Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, we've got reservations at Ja George.
Phoebe: So, here we are. Nervous?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are there as Phoebe enters carrying a large box.]
Monica: What are you doing?!
Ross: What the hell are doing?!!
Monica: (laughs) You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there talking about Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: So, are you ready to go?
Katie: Hey, where are we going to lunch?
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Rachel: Umm, Chandler, you do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head.
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
Monica: What-what are you doing?
Monica: Are you okay?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Chandler: And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.
Ross: What are you doing?
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
Joey: (sets the coffee down) Y'know, breadstick fangs are always funny.
Rachel: Whoa! (Laughs) Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. (She punches Katie back.)
Katie: You'd better do something, or I'm gonna walk out that door right now! Well? Are you gonna?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, see? Things are looking up already!
Chandler: Were doomed. Okay, theyre gonna take 50 bucks out of our accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do?
Monica: Wait what-wh-wh-what are you doing?!
Monica: Chandler, why are you doing this?
Joey: Aww, you guys are so cute!
Joey: What are you guys doing up?
Monica: (checks to see if it works) Yes, you are so smart! (Kisses him.)
Dream Monica: Yes! You are so smart! (Kisses him.) I love you.
Monica: Are you saying I smell bad?
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
The Salesman: You two are really gonna enjoy that couch.
The Smoking Woman: Who are you talking too?
Ross: Oh my God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Chandler: Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her?
Chandler: I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!