words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
Monica: Are we playing football or what? Come on you hairy-backed Marries.
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Cookie: Hey. What are we drinkin over here.
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Rachel: So, how are you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Rachel: Chandler! Youre smoking? What are you doing?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Monica: Are you crazy?!
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
Rachel: What are you doing here?
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Phoebe: What are you wrapping?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are there.]
Ross: Are you jealous?
Ross: You are totally jealous.
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Ross: So, are you gonna see him again?
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Richard: Tomatoes are squishing.
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Phoebe: What? (the guys keep laughing.) What? You guys, what is going on? You not like Robert? (the guys keep laughing.) Why are you laughing?!
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Robert: (running in) Oh, there they are! I-I dropped my keys.
Monica: What are you smiling at?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
RACHEL: Well those are very popular frames.
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
Phoebe: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are getting back from the lecture.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Ginger are eating dinner.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in the kitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Joey are watching TV.]
Monica: How are we gonna get home? Maybe a piggy-back ride?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
Chloe: Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
Mischa: (leaning in) Your eyes are very pretty.
Lecturer: ....oversized bracelets, oversized earrings, oversizing of accessories in general are very popular now.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Rachel: (startled) Oh!! My God, what are you doing here?
Ross: Okay, you are totally making this up.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
[Scene: The Philly, Chandler and Joey are talking to Chloe.]
Chandler: So, what are you doing here? I thought tonight was your big anniversary dinner.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Mark: Rach, are you okay?
Joey: So what are you gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are watching a Miracle Wax info-mercial.]
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Chloe: What? Are you married? Cause thats okay.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Chloe: Hey, come dance. What? Are you married? Cause thats okay.
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
Phoebe: Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling?
Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Issac: Yeah, we are.
Issac: Yeah, we are.
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Issac: But, we are.
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Rachel: (seeing him) Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there.
Carol: Hey, what are you doing here?
[Scene: Monicas Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax strips.]
Rachel: Yeah, we are definitely on Route 27.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Phoebe: Yeah, what town are we near?
Monica: Then why are you smoking?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.