words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
RACHEL: Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market.
RACHEL: Are you kidding me?
PHOEBE: Are you crazy?
(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his chest.)
(Back in the chapel. The parents are still fighting over the bill. Ross is refereeing.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
BIG BULLY: You know what I keep wondering? Why you two are still sitting here.
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
Ross: How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that�smy roommate, Rachel.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
MONICA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, where are we on the hundred bucks?
MRS BUFFAY: What are these, stitches?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
ROSS: Well we did it, we're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take?
CHANDLER: Hey, hey, those guys are takin our stuff! [some guy runs off with the hat]
ROSS: Before I forget, are we hitting faces?
Phoebe: (screaming) Toll-booth! Four bucks. There are quarters in the glove compartment.
[Scene: Central Perk. The four guys are returning after getting the hat back.]
ROSS: So, listen guys, are we uh, are we ok here?
[Scene: The 50's theme cafe. Monica is working the grill, the rest are at a table.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
PHOEBE: Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
CHANDLER: Look, are you gonna be ok?
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Monica: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You cant go out there.
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
MR. GREENE: Are you wearing my glasses?
MONICA: You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Back at the party in 1987. People are dancing to "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps.]
CHANDLER: Well, uh, Dr. Greene, where are you going?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]
ROSS: Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are doing Phoebe's makeup.]
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
RYAN: What're you doing? Are you scratching?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Ryan are playing Monopoly.]
JOEY: Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did.
ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
JOEY: Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica and Richard are alone in the kitchen.]
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there]
MONICA: What are you talking about? What wedding?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Richard and Monica are playing with Ben.]
RICHARD: Honey, you are in it.
MONICA: Oh God, you are about to get sooo lucky.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there, Chandler is talking to his new friend on the internet.]
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
ROSS: Are you all right?
[Scene: after the wedding, Ross and Rachel are in the lobby]
BARRY: Yeah, what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on.
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]
RACHEL: Why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding?
RACHEL: Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
[Scene: later, Richard and Monica are dancing]
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard and Monica are in bed.]
Monica: What are you the memory woman?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the chick and the duck are watching Emeril Live, a cooking show.]
MONICA: God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean.
Rachel: Okay, who are you talking to when you do that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are entering]
[Cut to later, they are finishing up the pizza, theres one piece left.]
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are entering]
Chandler: What are you guys doing together?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Monica: Hi, Dad, what are you doing here?
Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?
Monica: You're not just saying that are you?
Mr. Geller: So, how are you doing?
PHOEBE: Are you the cutest?
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
Monica: (to Ross) Ooh, are you gonna do magic?
Ross: (on machine) "Hi Rach, are you there? It's me, pick up. Rachel. Rach!"
Joey: Monica, how are you gonna do that?
Ross: Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? (Drew looks at him) Og-ee-op, Im not asking for me, Im I mean No, Im-Im not gay, Im not asking you out. Im not-Im not-Im not gay!
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
Ross: Not for tonight. Not for tonight! Wh-what, what, what, are you doing?
Chandler: What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes?