words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Phoebe: Yeah that's right you are so busted. (To no one in particular.) Book 'em.
Rachel: Good, you guys are all here!
Monica: Wow! For just a week you guys are really close, huh?
Phoebe: Okay, you know where you are better than I do. I was just curious.
Monica: You are so cute. (She goes over and kisses him passionately.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler and Joey are there as Rachel returns from her interview.]
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
ROSS: Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK.
Monica: A kiss? What are you talking about?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Gary and Chandler and Monica are all there.]
Monica: What are you doing?
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Monica: Phoebe and Gary are so gonna hear about this at dinner.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh! You are?
[Scene: The Geller household, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. The doorbell rings.]
Chandler: Yeah that was great. That was really great! But to tell you the truth, I'm more excited about where we are right now.
[Cut to the inside of Monica and Rachel's apartment, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
Phoebe: What are you talking about?!
Joey: What?! Are you kidding?!
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
Kim: Hey Rachel, what are you doing out here?
Kim: Oh that's great! You are the best!
Monica: Wait a minute, are you doing Joey's (sadly) "Audition didn't go so well. (Happily) Yeah it did?"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are talking.]
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Manny: Well, you are not doing a very good job!
Rachel: Come on you guys! What are doing?! I thought we were the patch sisters!
Rachel: It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Phoebe, you and I are, are gonna live together, we're roommates; that's the deal.
Chandler: Are you sure Joe? Are you sure you're not just a sex addict?
Joey: Eh, what are you gonna do?
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Kim and Nancy are out smoking as Chandler sticks his head out the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are in the kitchen.]
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross and Chandler are in their tuxes and have started to fake the pictures.]
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Phoebe: These are her earrings.
Monica: (noticing Rachel crawling behind the couch) Rach? What are you doing?
Ross: What? (Mumbles) What-what, what are talking about? It-it worked with you.
Ross: (smiling) Are you sure?
Phoebe: (smiling) This is terrible, what are you going to do?
Phoebe: (she just looks at him) Why are you being weird?
Phoebe: No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?"
Monica: No! You are not gonna run out and leave her here!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) What are we going to do?!
Rachel: Okay, calm down, here they are. (Gives back the sunglasses.)
Phoebe: Okay, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me.
Rachel: Well y'know if you, if you started smoking again you could've at least told me! Come on, give me one of those! What are we talking about?
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
Gary: How are you?
Joey: Are you thinking about Monica?
Ross: So where are we going next?
Monica: All right, he's keys are in the drawer. Y'know what? I also need some cash.
Emily: (on answering machine) Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
Rachel: Oh my God! Are you serious?!
Ross: Rach, what uh, what are you doing here?
Rachel: Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!
Ross: (stares at her briefly) Okay, why are you here?
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
[Time lapse, all three girls are now wearing wedding dresses, eating popcorn, drinking beer, and watching TV.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
Monica: I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her?
Chandler: So, what are you gonna do?
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
Ross: Are you serious?!
Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch!
[Scene: Central Perk, the guys are returning from the ride along to find Phoebe already there.]
Chandler: Hey ladies! What are you in here for? (Laughs at his joke.)
Gary: Hey Chandler, what are you doing here?
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Gary: Chandler, what-what are you doing?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are still playing catch.]
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am.
Monica: You have scratches all over you, what happened? (Rachel's arms are covered with scratches.)
Chandler: He's a great guy, y'know? And he loves you a lot, you are a very lucky lady.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are watching Three's Company.]
Phoebe: Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else?
Gary: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Monica: All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me?
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
Monica: Why are so mad at him?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. (Steve sits, Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one, quickly)... with just a touch of mints... and... (he finishes)... ginger.
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
Ross: Dude, you are sick.
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better.