words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Chandler: Okay, so thats it, everybody knows! Its official, were moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Monica: What the hell are you doing?!
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
Rachel: No! They are mine!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are playing phone pranks on Ross.]
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
Chandler: What are you doing?
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
Phoebe: Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.
Chandler: There you are.
The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Monica: How are you still single?!
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Judge: Okay you two are asking the court for an annulment?
Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?
Phoebe: I know, the babies are asleep.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are there. Monica is suggesting Mockolate recipes to Phoebe.]
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him.
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Monica: Rachel, you are packed though right, I mean please tell me that youre packed.
[Cut to Rachels bedroom, Phoebe and her are entering. And its obvious that shes not packed.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they are just finishing up another game of foosball.]
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Chandler: See? Now, thats why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.
Rachel: You know what else Im not gonna miss? "Im Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Phoebe: Hey, how are you guys doing?
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Ross and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: Well, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? (Holds up a deck of cards.)
[Scene, The Park: Phoebe and Rachel are getting ready to go running]
Chandler: How drunk are you?
[Scene, Central Perk: Rachel, Ross and Monica are there]
Chandler: Yeah, now how's that going though? Are you okay with the not-flirting thing?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels new apartment, Rachel and Phoebe are making their answering machine message.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]
Monica: Well, are you just hanging out with Ross?
Rachel: Umm, well lets see Monica and Chandler are occupied.
Chandler: And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny.
Joey: Oh-whoa-hey, dude, what are you doing?!
Joey: Noo-no-no, no, those are nicknames. Im the chick and Chandler is the duck.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler and Ross are there. Monica enters]
Phoebe: See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone!
Monica: It's okay. Chandler, are you afraid of me or something?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Janine and Chandler are there]
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
Rachel: (Gasps) Phoebe are you serious?
Chandler: What are you supporting?
[Scene; Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch. Ross walks in.]
Ross: Whats up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Chandler: Im totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then theyre gonna go to their cast parties and hes gonna try to undermine me. Y'know itll be like, "So wheres your boyfriend, whats-his-name, Chester?" And shell go, "No-no-no, its Chandler." And hell go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]
Monica: Now are drawers will smell nice and we didnt waste these pantyhose.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.]
Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if Oh my God!! Where are all the men???
Kim: Listen to me. If you think sleeping with Ralph is going to get you my job. You are sadly mistaken.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there.]
Hillary: Are you going to eat that bread?
Hillary: Are those your teeth??
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
Janine: Whats the matter? Are you upset?
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
[Scene: Hillarys apartment, Hillary and Ross are finishing up their date.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
Janine: Are you guys going to Chandlers for Thanksgiving?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Ross: Oh my God, the pages are stuck together!
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
[Scene: Barry's Office, Rachel and Barry are getting dressed.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
[Kisses and hugs are exchanged.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Ross: Are you kidding?