words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
[Scene: Barry and Mindy's wedding, Monica and Richard are standing in the lobby]
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
[Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Joey's Hand Twin: Are you gonna play?
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Ross and Rachel are both reading as a guy stops by their row.]
[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Are you sure you wanna do this?
Monica: Are you sure you wanna do this?
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
(Chandler and Monica are stunned again.)
Monica: What are you guys doing here?
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas youre married everywhere.
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Chandler: Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. (Realizes something) Yknow, technically we still are over international waters.
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or
Monica: What are you guys gonna do?
Monica: And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Joey: They let you get married when youre drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
Stanley: I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya?
[Scene: Phoebes cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is driving while Joey is sleeping.]
Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radios broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)
Joey: Hey, are you unsupporting me again?
Rachel: You are asking me to be your wife!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Joey: That is incredible! You are the master!
Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Yknow? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Joey: What are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are cuddling on the couch.]
Phoebe: Yknow what? Im not talking to you! You go back to sleep! (To the hitchhiker) And you, are you a rapist?!
Monica: Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?!
Monica: No! Chandler and I are moving in together!
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Chandler: Oh please, you are obsessed with babies and-and marriage and everything that's related to babies and-and marriage! I've got an idea, why don't we turn down the heat on this pressure cooker?!
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Monica: Have a seat. (They sit at the table.) Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here.
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Ross: (to the panel) Look, Im sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just dont want to be divorced three times.
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Monica: These arent for you! Are you upset?
Rachel: (gasps) Are you pregnant?!
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
Russell: There are a couple of forms to fill out.
Rachel: Are you okay? Youre not blinking.
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Rachel, Kim, and Nancy are all puffing away on their cancer sticks.]
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Ross: Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love.
Monica: Are you mocking me?
Rachel: Why, where are you going?
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Joey: Okay you guys, I got a little more written. Are you ready?
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Rachel: Pheebs, what-what are you doing?
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, youre still alive! How are you doing?
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Chandler: Okay, so thats it, everybody knows! Its official, were moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Monica: What the hell are you doing?!
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
Rachel: No! They are mine!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are playing phone pranks on Ross.]
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
Chandler: What are you doing?
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
Phoebe: Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.
Chandler: There you are.
The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Monica: How are you still single?!