words in movies
Ross: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joeys special romance magazines in there?
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
Monica: Are you serious?
Chandler: We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Monica: No Phoebe, those are like the side affects and stuff.
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Carol: What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are returning from Central Perk.]
Joey: Okay you guys, I got a little more written. Are you ready?
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Joey: Hey no-no-no-no! Its cool! Its cool! I-Ill only be a second, Im still with my brides maid, I justWhere are those condoms you brought?
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Chandler: But those are the words! Those exact words!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: So are guys doing okay?
Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important.
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Joey: Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasnt something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer?
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Rachel: Honey, what are you doing? Thats too heavy.
Rachel: Well, so, are-are you sure that there are three?!
Phoebe: No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!
The Doctor: Doctors are wrong all the time.
Emily: You are so sweet. (They kiss.)
Emily: Oh my God! What are you doing here? (They hug)
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Monica: Are you sure?
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Oh my God! Ross, are you in England? Was Emily surprised?
Monica: What are you doing here? You cant be here!
Chandler: Are we in London?
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Phoebe: Hey! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Emily: Are you all right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Phoebe: All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
[Scene: Rosss bedroom; Ross and Emily are making out. Ross as a new feature.]
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Rachel: SoHey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Chandler: Are you serious?
Rachel: Oh, come on! We know what these are worth.
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Chandler: So what are you going to do?
Chandler: Are you serious?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Phoebe: Hey, so? Are you gonna do it?
Monica: So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Emily: You are mad!
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Emily: My parents are going to be really mad.
Ross: Is thatare you saying yes? Is that yes?
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Chandler: We are switching back, right now!
[Time lapse. The guys are entering their apartment.]
Monica: Men are such idiots.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
Phoebe: What? Oh, are you pregnant too?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Chandler: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!!
Rachel: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Phoebe: Yeah, but yknow, about have of these are gonna end up getting divorced.
Monica: Are you alone?
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Ross: So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today?
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Ross: Great! Because Emily and I are getting married in a month!
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Chandler: So uh, what are you in for?
Phoebe: Yeah, I think we are.
Ross: Really?! We are?
Monica: Well, are you asleep right now, Joe? Cause I dont think you have to wear it unless you are!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are sitting and talking.]
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Joey: Yeah we are!
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are finishing up some cookies.]
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are talking about passion.]
Rachel: Cause I am really happy about us. I think we are, I think we are so on the right track! Yknow? I mean, I think we are working, I think we are clicking. Yknow?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are arguing.]
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
Monica: Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are opening their invitations.]
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are finally breaking up for good, or is it?]