words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Rachel: Honey, what are you doing? Thats too heavy.
Monica: Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. Youre probably just gonna catch her just as shes about to go to the gate. Youre gonna call out her name and say, "I love you!" And shes gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud.
The Doctor: Doctors are wrong all the time.
Rachel: Well, so, are-are you sure that there are three?!
Phoebe: Oh God, Im so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked.
Emily: Oh my God! What are you doing here? (They hug)
Emily: You are so sweet. (They kiss.)
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Monica: Are you sure?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Thats sounds great, but how are you going to afford it?
Monica: Oh my God! Ross, are you in England? Was Emily surprised?
Chandler: Are we in London?
Monica: What are you doing here? You cant be here!
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Charlton Heston: Who in the hell are you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are returning from the strip club.]
Phoebe: And do you know what girls are really good at?
Rachel: Well, are we all together? Like in a group?
Ross: But now! Im there! Im totally there! Im-Im finally where you are!
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Emily: No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. (Introducing them) Liam, Devon, this is Ross.
[Scene: A street, Ross and Emily are walking home from a date.]
Joey: Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Well, why are you doing this anyway?
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?
Rachel: (refers to the table) What are these?
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Emily: So how are you? Ive been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived but umm, well, Ive been rather busy.
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Chandler: Are you aware that you're still talking?
MNCA: What these? [holding up liquor bottles] Oh, these are, um, for.. cuts and scrapes.
Chandler: What are you writing?
Joey: Hey thats what all my relationships are like.
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
[cut to the living room of the same dwelling, where the funeral guests are mingling. Monica enters.]
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that?
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
Rachel: Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?
Chandler: What are the odds? What are the odds?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Joey: Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasnt something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer?
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Phoebe: No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Phoebe: Hey! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Emily: Are you all right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Phoebe: All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
[Scene: Rosss bedroom; Ross and Emily are making out. Ross as a new feature.]
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Rachel: SoHey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Chandler: Are you serious?
Rachel: Oh, come on! We know what these are worth.
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Chandler: So what are you going to do?
Chandler: Are you serious?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Phoebe: Hey, so? Are you gonna do it?
Monica: So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Emily: You are mad!
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Emily: My parents are going to be really mad.
Ross: Is thatare you saying yes? Is that yes?
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Chandler: We are switching back, right now!
[Time lapse. The guys are entering their apartment.]
Monica: Men are such idiots.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
Phoebe: What? Oh, are you pregnant too?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Chandler: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!!
Rachel: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Phoebe: Yeah, but yknow, about have of these are gonna end up getting divorced.
Monica: Are you alone?