words in movies
{Transcriber's Note: The credits list two characters, Tia and Samantha, who I assume are the sweaty women Joey and Chandler meet. However, I don't know which is which, so I've simply called them Woman #1 and Woman #2.}
Rachel: Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.
[Scene: Joe-G's Pizza, the guys are there.]
Chandler: I can't believe we are even having this discussion.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is taking care of Marcel and they are watching a soap opera.]
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Luisa: Oookay. Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic is, uh, punishable by up to two years in prison and confiscation of the animal?
Luisa: Oh my God, you are! And you're Rachel Green!
(Chandler and Joey are dumbstruck for a moment)
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Ross: Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler are looking through Monica's high school yearbook]
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Joey: Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. Its a twins study.
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Chandler: But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
Chandler: You are totally and completely 100% forgiven.
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Joey's Look-A-Like: Im Joey! How are you doin?!
Monica: Who the hell are you?!
Chandler: Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are returning.]
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
Phoebe: Say we are unagi!
Joey: Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?
Monica: You are just the sweetest. (They kiss.)
Chandler: So, are we going in there?
Monica: (pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: So are guys doing okay?
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we so sure that this is a girl?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Phoebe and Rachel are deciding on tattoos.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Ross: Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are cleaning up the mess.]
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Monica: (opening the door) What are you doing?
Elizabeth: What are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Elizabeth are deciding what to do on their second date.]
Mel: You are so fired.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Rachel: Huh, yeah I guess we are roommates now.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Well, what kind of guy are you looking for?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, like there are police for that!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are throwing huge spitballs at the entertainment center.]
Elizabeth: Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Ross: What the hell are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Elizabeth: You are so adorable.
Ross: Hey, yknow what? Not all spring breaks are like that.
Rachel: What are you guys doing?
Chandler: Are you sure?! Because our guy smells incredible!
Chandler: Are you funny?
Monica: Are you funny? Tell us a joke!
Joey: (entering) Pheebs! There you are! Okay, you broke my fridge; you owe me 400 bucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Chandler: (To Ross) Well, there you are! So what did Elizabeth say?
Elizabeth: Ross, are you okay?
Eldad: How are you?
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Elizabeth: Ross, its going to be okay. Im not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us.
Elizabeth: Oh hey! Here they are!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Since when are you into swing music?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey is memorizing his lines. Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as well.]
Ross: I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, shed say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does!
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Chandler: Oh, are we playing this?!
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Interviewer: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
Interviewer: Are they, uh, firm?
Monica: What are peanut butter fingers?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball and Joey scores a goal.]
Ross: Sure. Sure. Look I dont, I dont know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Ross are at a newsstand.]
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
[The next flashback is from The One With The Candy Hearts. Joey and Chandler are waiting at a restaurant as Lorraine and her friend arrive.]
Chandler: You are gonna be a huge star! Im gonna hug ya!
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
[Cut back to the present, they are still in each others embrace.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Chandler: Oh thats right. Its your first day! So are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robot sidekick?
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Ross: Are you into crafts at all?
Chandler: Are you judging them by their covers? Because youre really not supposed to do that.
Ross: What are you guys doing later?
Chandler: All right buddy, time to roll over. (Rolls him over, and discovers a surprise) (Looking down) No-no! (Covers his eyes) No, no-n-n-n-no!! You are going to a clinic! Youre going to a clinic, and a pyjama store!
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
Ross: Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, cause if you are Id love to show you around sometime.
Paul: Oh, here they are right here. (Picks them up from underneath the corner of the couch.)
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Rachel: Oh no! Yes! Of course, I know that! I justI meant yknow are you still a We or are you just You?
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!