words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Why are so mad at him?
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Ross: Dude, you are sick.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better.
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Ross: Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Rachel: Oh my God! You really are freakishly strong!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Ross: Why are you mad at me?
Stanley: I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya?
The Grip: Hey pal, are you Joey Tribbiani?
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
[Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
Charlie: Are they still looking for us?
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
Monica: (in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are!
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
(They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room)
Ross: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Joey: Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: How... wha... Hey! What are you... What is this? Have you guys been listening this entire time?
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Rachel: (still can't find him) How are you doing this?
Rachel: Are they right?
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: Are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this...
Ross: Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, Im a doctor, and I had a monkey. Im Doctor Monkey!
Precious: Hi, I'm Precious, who are you?
Chandler: What are you singing?
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Manny: Your pants are undone!
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Ross: So you two are..?
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for.
Chandler: Where are Bill and Colleen?
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Joey: Dude, are you okay?
Rachel: Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
Ross: Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!
Joey: No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this?
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
[Scene:Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are on the couch]
Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent?
Monica: Oh, what are we gonna do! I don't wanna see her!!
Ross: Well... I like how you look, what are you?
[Scene: At the tanning salon. Ross and a male assistant are walking through a hall]
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
[scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting on the couch]
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
Amanda: Oh! Gosh! This is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times. I'm so happy you two are friends again!
Rachel: What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok?
Monica: We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.
Phoebe: Yeah, you are. And I'm so glad that you fought your way back in, because I don't know what I would do without you.
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
Joey: I guess they weren't as good friends as we are.
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
Monica: Are you freaking kidding me, Green?
Jack: Which one are you?
Chandler: I know, what are we gonna do?
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Rachel: So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us?
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
(Ross, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen area)
Chandler: Hi Emma! It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap?
Ross: (Into receiver) Hello? (listens) Oh no! What happened? (listens some more) Ok ok, where are you? (Grabs a pen and starts writing). Ok, I'll be right there. (Puts the phone down)
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
Monica: (to the dog) What are you barking at?
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Monica: That's how old you are.
Phoebe: Hey, are Ross and Rachel back?
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
Ross: What's wrong? Are you okay?
Rachel: So now, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Rachel: Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
(They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks)
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Amy: Yeah, not really. Babies are dull.
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Amy: What? What are you gonna do?
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
Rachel: (gasps) I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help.
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?