words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Why are so mad at him?
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Ross: Dude, you are sick.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better.
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Ross: Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Rachel: Oh my God! You really are freakishly strong!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Ross: Why are you mad at me?
Stanley: I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya?
The Grip: Hey pal, are you Joey Tribbiani?
Phoebe: You guys are here! Yay!
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Monica: Wait Chandler, what are you doing?!
Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises!
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.
Joey: Okay, so what are we going to do about this hand twin thing?!
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Are you serious?!
[Scene: Barry and Mindy's wedding, Monica and Richard are standing in the lobby]
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
[Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Joey's Hand Twin: Are you gonna play?
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Ross and Rachel are both reading as a guy stops by their row.]
[Scene: A Little White Chapel, Chandler and Monica are entering.]
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Are you sure you wanna do this?
Monica: Are you sure you wanna do this?
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
(Chandler and Monica are stunned again.)
Monica: What are you guys doing here?
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas youre married everywhere.
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Chandler: Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. (Realizes something) Yknow, technically we still are over international waters.
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or
Monica: What are you guys gonna do?
Monica: And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Joey: They let you get married when youre drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is driving while Joey is sleeping.]
Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radios broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)
Joey: Hey, are you unsupporting me again?
Rachel: You are asking me to be your wife!
Joey: That is incredible! You are the master!
Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Yknow? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Joey: What are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are cuddling on the couch.]
Phoebe: Yknow what? Im not talking to you! You go back to sleep! (To the hitchhiker) And you, are you a rapist?!
Monica: Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?!
Monica: No! Chandler and I are moving in together!
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Chandler: Oh please, you are obsessed with babies and-and marriage and everything that's related to babies and-and marriage! I've got an idea, why don't we turn down the heat on this pressure cooker?!
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Monica: Have a seat. (They sit at the table.) Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here.
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Ross: (to the panel) Look, Im sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just dont want to be divorced three times.
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Monica: These arent for you! Are you upset?
Rachel: (gasps) Are you pregnant?!
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
Russell: There are a couple of forms to fill out.
Rachel: Are you okay? Youre not blinking.
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Rachel, Kim, and Nancy are all puffing away on their cancer sticks.]
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Ross: Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love.
Monica: Are you mocking me?
Rachel: Why, where are you going?
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Joey: Okay you guys, I got a little more written. Are you ready?
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Rachel: Pheebs, what-what are you doing?
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, youre still alive! How are you doing?
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Chandler: Okay, so thats it, everybody knows! Its official, were moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Monica: What the hell are you doing?!
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
Rachel: No! They are mine!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are playing phone pranks on Ross.]
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
Chandler: What are you doing?
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!