words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Why are so mad at him?
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Ross: Dude, you are sick.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better.
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Ross: Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Rachel: Oh my God! You really are freakishly strong!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Ross: Why are you mad at me?
Stanley: I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya?
The Grip: Hey pal, are you Joey Tribbiani?
Charlton Heston: Who in the hell are you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are returning from the strip club.]
Phoebe: And do you know what girls are really good at?
Rachel: Well, are we all together? Like in a group?
Ross: But now! Im there! Im totally there! Im-Im finally where you are!
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Emily: No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. (Introducing them) Liam, Devon, this is Ross.
[Scene: A street, Ross and Emily are walking home from a date.]
Joey: Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Well, why are you doing this anyway?
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?
Rachel: (refers to the table) What are these?
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Emily: So how are you? Ive been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived but umm, well, Ive been rather busy.
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Chandler: Are you aware that you're still talking?
MNCA: What these? [holding up liquor bottles] Oh, these are, um, for.. cuts and scrapes.
Chandler: What are you writing?
Joey: Hey thats what all my relationships are like.
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
[cut to the living room of the same dwelling, where the funeral guests are mingling. Monica enters.]
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that?
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
Rachel: Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?
Chandler: What are the odds? What are the odds?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Joey: Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasnt something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer?
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Rachel: Honey, what are you doing? Thats too heavy.
Rachel: Well, so, are-are you sure that there are three?!
Phoebe: No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!
The Doctor: Doctors are wrong all the time.
Emily: You are so sweet. (They kiss.)
Emily: Oh my God! What are you doing here? (They hug)
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Monica: Are you sure?
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Oh my God! Ross, are you in England? Was Emily surprised?
Monica: What are you doing here? You cant be here!
Chandler: Are we in London?
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Phoebe: Hey! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Emily: Are you all right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Phoebe: All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
[Scene: Rosss bedroom; Ross and Emily are making out. Ross as a new feature.]
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Rachel: SoHey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Chandler: Are you serious?
Rachel: Oh, come on! We know what these are worth.
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Chandler: So what are you going to do?
Chandler: Are you serious?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Phoebe: Hey, so? Are you gonna do it?
Monica: So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Emily: You are mad!
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Emily: My parents are going to be really mad.
Ross: Is thatare you saying yes? Is that yes?
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Chandler: We are switching back, right now!
[Time lapse. The guys are entering their apartment.]