words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work?
Monica: Hey, Joey's ass! What are you doing?
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
[Scene: Atlantic City, New Jersey, Chandler and Monica are about to start their weekend of sex, sex, nothing but sex.]
Monica: Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers!
Chandler: I hear ya, Mugsy! But look, all these rooms are fine okay? Can you just pick one so I can watch-(realizes)-have a perfect, magical weekend together with you.
Rachel: That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? (Pause) (Realizes) Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you?
Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
Joey: (sticking his head out the door) What are you guys woofing about?
Rachel: Hi. What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?
Monica: (laughs) You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing Madlibs. Phoebe is reading hers.]
Monica: Guys, rules are good! Rules help control the fun! (They all leave and close the door on Monica.) Ohhh! (Throws her notepad down in disgust.)
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
Phoebe-Estelle: What are you saying?
Phoebe-Estelle: Don’t take that tone with me. Who you think you are? Alan Lemond, the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic?
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Phoebe: Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
[Scene: house next to the one the Bings are moving into. Chandler and Monica knock, a lady opens the door.]
Girl: I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.
Monica: They could be our neighbors, what are they like?
(Chandler and Monica are speechless).
Phoebe: Hey Joey, want come with me to… are you ok?
Joey: Oh, hey, my pleasure. (he suddenly becomes very serious) So what are your intentions with my Phoebe?
Chandler: The only way that that is going to happen, is if the other couple are the Hitlers.
[Scene: The house Monica and Chandler are viewing. Janice comes down the stairs.]
Mike: I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
Janice: Chandler, what are you talking about?
Rachel: You are never going to believe what happened to me today.
Ross: So, what are you gonna do?
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. (Checks her watch.) But then the day comes! And thats every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again
[Scene: Joey's place. Rachel and Joey are talking]
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...
Erica: Plus hotels are fun! My room has this little fridge full of free snacks!
Ross: Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.
Ross: What are you guys doing?
Monica (enters the room): Are, are you kidding? This is packing?
Rachel: You guys are gonna come and visit me, right?
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
[Scene: Central Perk. The entire gang is there, and Chandler and Monica are handing out presents.]
Chandler: Really? Then what are they doing in our guestroom?
Monica: What are you talking about? These aren't mine.
Ross: Are you kidding? Oh my God...
[Scene: The guest bedroom. Rachel and Monica are talking to each other.]
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
Chandler: I think these are yours.
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Ross: God! I can't believe she saved me for last. (looking out to the balcony) Why are they taking so long?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The others are still there.]
Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
Chandler: Hey Mon, I think I figured out whose handcuffs they are.
Monica: Erica, are you okay?
Erica: (in pain) Ooh! Are you sure?
Monica: Erica, are you okay?
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Chandler: Where are you going?
[Scene: The delivery room at the hospital. Monica, Chandler and Erica are there. Erica is in labor, and she is breathing heavily.]
Monica: What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?
Phoebe: David! (He kisses her cheek) What-what are you doing here? Arent you supposed to be in Russia?
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Joey: So what does that mean? Are you guys getting back together?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Chandler: Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are entering and finding their table.]
Chandler: Monica, we are not ready to have two babies!
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Are you kidding? Eight hours with my mother talking about Atkins? Good luck, Emma!
[Scene: The hospital. Monica and Chandler are holding the twins, while two nurses are taking care of Erica.]
Phoebe: Hey, what are you working on?
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Joey: Yeah, you are!
Ross: Are we off the bridge?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
(They realise that the birds are in the foosball table.)
Phoebe: Ross, where are you going?
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Monica: Oh my God! Ross, you wouldn't believe the cute little noises the twins are making. Listen.
Monica: Newark airport. Why, where are you?
Air stewardess: Excuse me, sir, where are you going?
Rachel: Wait, what are you doing?
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Rachel: Oh my God... What.. What are you guys doing here?
Gate attendant #2: Miss? Are you boarding the plane?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey, Chandler, Monica and the twins are there. Everything has been put into boxes.]
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat.
Ross: Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid.
(Two other men are rolling the big white dog out of the apartment.)
[Scene: hotel's bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking]
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Rachel: Oh, you are the lesser of two evils!
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
CHANDLER: Our trains are on the same track, ok? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, and now Rachel are organizing CDs.]
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Phoebe and Mike are watching the game. There's cheering, but Phoebe seems distracted.]
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, a post-coital Monica and Chandler are recovering on the couch.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are still discussing Bobby and Dinas situation.]
Ticket Counter Attendant: Are you travelling with a child?
[Scene: Rosss classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.]
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!