words in movies
Monica: What are you talking about? We�re all together right now.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Chandler: No! I just happened t�do a lot trivias about smoking in different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are called Leyhallalookoos.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound � and the breasts of a Greek goddess.
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
Chandler: But, those are for you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.
[Scene: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a table for six.]
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Phoebe: Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing.
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that�s true.
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
Chandler: You are incredible. Unless, I�I�m not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)
Chandler: Uhh. You are welcome.
Phoebe: You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two?
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Rachel: Phoebe, hi, we�re so sorry. You�re totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next morning, Monica and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Chandler: Thats right! Where are the guys? Im ready to get drunk and see some strippers.
Monica: What are you doing?! Chandler! You cant just go back a phase!
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are kissing.]
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
[Scene: A strip club, the girls are there with Chandler, who isnt enjoying himself.]
Phoebe: Come on! Look where you are!!
Charlton Heston: Who in the hell are you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are returning from the strip club.]
Phoebe: And do you know what girls are really good at?
Rachel: Well, are we all together? Like in a group?
Ross: But now! Im there! Im totally there! Im-Im finally where you are!
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Emily: No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. (Introducing them) Liam, Devon, this is Ross.
[Scene: A street, Ross and Emily are walking home from a date.]
Joey: Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Well, why are you doing this anyway?
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?
Rachel: (refers to the table) What are these?
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Emily: So how are you? Ive been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived but umm, well, Ive been rather busy.
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Chandler: Are you aware that you're still talking?
MNCA: What these? [holding up liquor bottles] Oh, these are, um, for.. cuts and scrapes.
Chandler: What are you writing?
Joey: Hey thats what all my relationships are like.
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
[cut to the living room of the same dwelling, where the funeral guests are mingling. Monica enters.]
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that?
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
Rachel: Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?
Chandler: What are the odds? What are the odds?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Joey: Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasnt something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer?
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Rachel: Honey, what are you doing? Thats too heavy.
Rachel: Well, so, are-are you sure that there are three?!
Phoebe: No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!
The Doctor: Doctors are wrong all the time.
Emily: You are so sweet. (They kiss.)
Emily: Oh my God! What are you doing here? (They hug)
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Monica: Are you sure?
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Oh my God! Ross, are you in England? Was Emily surprised?
Monica: What are you doing here? You cant be here!
Chandler: Are we in London?
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Phoebe: Hey! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Emily: Are you all right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Phoebe: All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
[Scene: Rosss bedroom; Ross and Emily are making out. Ross as a new feature.]
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Rachel: SoHey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Chandler: Are you serious?
Rachel: Oh, come on! We know what these are worth.
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Chandler: So what are you going to do?
Chandler: Are you serious?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Phoebe: Hey, so? Are you gonna do it?