words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: How come you are?!
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
CHANDLER: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?
Ms. McKenna: The numbers we are seeing New York, Chicago, and London are consistently solid, but many of our officers have reported disappointing fields.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
Monica: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, (starting to cry) you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
PHOEBE: [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody.
PHOEBE: Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler and Eddie are talking.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in Monica's bedroom.]
RACHEL: Oh honey, are you jealous of Paolo? Oh, c'mon, I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him.
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
[Ross and Rachel are in Rachel's bedroom]
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
JOEY: Man you are incredible.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. All but Joey are present.]
DR. REMORE: Some guys are just lucky I guess.
MR. GELLER: [going downstairs] Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. [Chip has shown up and the four are leaving]
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there, Joey enters wearing an old looking hat.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Rachel has just finished reading the book.]
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
RACHEL: Thank you. So are we good?
RACHEL: Here are your cakes.
MONICA: Are you sure this time?
ROSS: Hi, Julie. [nervous] Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you?
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?
[The next flashback is from The One After The Superbowl, Part II. Monica and Rachel are fighting over who gets to see Jean-Claude Van Damme.]
PHOEBE: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Kori: And you are...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]
Rachel: What are you shushing?
RACHEL: Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market.
RACHEL: Are you kidding me?
PHOEBE: Are you crazy?
(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his chest.)
(Back in the chapel. The parents are still fighting over the bill. Ross is refereeing.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
BIG BULLY: You know what I keep wondering? Why you two are still sitting here.
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
Ross: How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that�smy roommate, Rachel.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
MONICA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, where are we on the hundred bucks?
MRS BUFFAY: What are these, stitches?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
ROSS: Well we did it, we're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take?
CHANDLER: Hey, hey, those guys are takin our stuff! [some guy runs off with the hat]
ROSS: Before I forget, are we hitting faces?
Phoebe: (screaming) Toll-booth! Four bucks. There are quarters in the glove compartment.
[Scene: Central Perk. The four guys are returning after getting the hat back.]
ROSS: So, listen guys, are we uh, are we ok here?
[Scene: The 50's theme cafe. Monica is working the grill, the rest are at a table.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
PHOEBE: Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
CHANDLER: Look, are you gonna be ok?
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Monica: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You cant go out there.
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
MR. GREENE: Are you wearing my glasses?
MONICA: You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Back at the party in 1987. People are dancing to "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps.]
CHANDLER: Well, uh, Dr. Greene, where are you going?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]
ROSS: Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are doing Phoebe's makeup.]
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
RYAN: What're you doing? Are you scratching?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Ryan are playing Monopoly.]
JOEY: Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did.
ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
JOEY: Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica and Richard are alone in the kitchen.]