words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: How come you are?!
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Phoebe: Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Joey: Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
Rachel: How are ya?
Joey: What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Chandler: Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Rachel: You are so beautiful.
Dina: Who are you?!
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Ross: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joeys special romance magazines in there?
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
Monica: Are you serious?
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch as Joey enters.]
Joey: (turning all the way around, and still not facing Chandler) Yeah, you are! (Starts dancing.) I scared you!
Monica: No Phoebe, those are like the side affects and stuff.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, a scene is being shot where Dina and Fredrick are celebrating Jessicas horrible accident by drinking champagne.]
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Carol: What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are returning from Central Perk.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are watching a basketball game on the couch.]
Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.]
Rachel: No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.
Joey: Many are scheduled to appear.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.]
Joey: What award are you practicing for?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
MONICA: Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage.
Monica: Thats sounds great, but how are you going to afford it?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are entering.]
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey and Rachel are there to give Jessica her award.]
Chandler: Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big
Monica: Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Rachel: (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00.
Phoebe: What are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monicas shower.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Joey are there. Joey is reading a newspaper.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Monica: But you are?
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!
Rachel: Are you makin him a sandwich?
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Ross: (looking then moving away quickly) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and Ill always remember that summer because thats when I realized that we are related.
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Monica: What are you trying on now?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.]
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Cassie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?! (They sit back up.)
Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry.
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Melissa: Listen, we-we have to have dinner. What-what are you doing tomorrow night?
Melissa: Oh shut up more! Now, are you friends with Ralph?
Dina: What are you going to do? Kill him? Like you did with Charles?!
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Joey: Hey, so where are my parents gonna be?
Joey: Well-wellsee? Parents are comin!
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Chandler: Yeah, I know what youre thinkin! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when theyre done with them they just send em back.
Chandler: Are you serious?
Rachel: Well, what are you going to wear?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are moving chess pieces around on the board and hitting the timer at random.]
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Joey: Why are you taking this away from me?
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
[Scene: A restaurant, Melissa, Rachel, and Phoebe are talking.]
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Monica: Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts. (Points.)
Ross: Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin in there.