words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: How come you are?!
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: Are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this...
Ross: Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, Im a doctor, and I had a monkey. Im Doctor Monkey!
Precious: Hi, I'm Precious, who are you?
Chandler: What are you singing?
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Manny: Your pants are undone!
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Ross: So you two are..?
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for.
Chandler: Where are Bill and Colleen?
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Joey: Dude, are you okay?
Rachel: Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
Ross: Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!
Joey: No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this?
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
[Scene:Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are on the couch]
Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent?
Monica: Oh, what are we gonna do! I don't wanna see her!!
Ross: Well... I like how you look, what are you?
[Scene: At the tanning salon. Ross and a male assistant are walking through a hall]
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
[scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting on the couch]
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
Amanda: Oh! Gosh! This is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times. I'm so happy you two are friends again!
Rachel: What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok?
Monica: We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.
Phoebe: Yeah, you are. And I'm so glad that you fought your way back in, because I don't know what I would do without you.
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
Joey: I guess they weren't as good friends as we are.
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
Monica: Are you freaking kidding me, Green?
Jack: Which one are you?
Chandler: I know, what are we gonna do?
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Rachel: So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us?
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
(Ross, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen area)
Chandler: Hi Emma! It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap?
Ross: (Into receiver) Hello? (listens) Oh no! What happened? (listens some more) Ok ok, where are you? (Grabs a pen and starts writing). Ok, I'll be right there. (Puts the phone down)
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
Monica: (to the dog) What are you barking at?
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Monica: That's how old you are.
Phoebe: Hey, are Ross and Rachel back?
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
Ross: What's wrong? Are you okay?
Rachel: So now, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Rachel: Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
(They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks)
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Amy: Yeah, not really. Babies are dull.
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Amy: What? What are you gonna do?
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
Rachel: (gasps) I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help.
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?
Phoebe: I'm not. I'm praying. (looking up) Please let the Knicks win... Thank you Thor! (Mike is standing up) Where... where are you going?
Rachel: Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.
Ross: No, I mean it. You are so loyal man, and selfless, and generous...
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Amy are walking on the sidewalk.]
Amy: Not that great. It's almost if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly.
Phoebe: (proud of herself) Oh yes, they are.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Joey and Emma are there.]
[Scene: A restaurant. Ross and Charlie are waiting for her ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart]
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Ross: Are you serious?
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
[Scene: Interview room. Ross and two other professors (one man, one woman) are sitting on one side of a long desk. Benjamin Hobart is sitting on the other side]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Rachel are talking.]
Rachel: But you are a liar.
Chandler: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Monica: (Impatient with Rachel) Are you still here?