words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: How come you are?!
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Rachel: Joey, you are not! Youre 31.
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Rachel: Monica, what are you talking about?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Monica: And yet, here we are doing it again.
Joey: Good, me too. (Tosses him the loaf.) Eggs and milk are in the fridge. Thanks.
[Scene: Kleinmans, a horde of women including Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica are waiting for the store to open.]
Ross: Phoebe, oh my God! Wh-wh-what are you doing here?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel and Monica are pretty much telling Chandler what the wedding plans are.]
Chandler: Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place?
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Rachel: Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are having dinner with her parents.]
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
Ross: That-thats always good news. Are you okay?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning from dinner, Rachel is already there.]
Ross: And; people thinking its huge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Monica are fighting over the remote.]
Monica: Whoa!!! Are you kidding me?!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Rachel enters and sees Joey sitting there.]
Ross: (sitting down) Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about?
Joey: Dude, what are you massaging an old man for?
Rachel: Who are you supposed to be?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Ross: Are you sure?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are making some sandwiches.]
Chandler: Our kids are gonna be fat arent they.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Ross: (entering from the bathrooms) Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
Rachel: Okay, Im just gonna go over the basic points just one more time, are you ready?
Rachel: No. What do you do if I say we are coming about?
Joey: (recoils in horror) Women are mean!!! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Ross: Ohh, these are pretty good.
Phoebe: Are there anymore from the good batch? Cause we could just work off of those.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
[Scene: The Gym, Chandler and Mr. Geller are heading for the whirlpool room.]
Monica: Im sick of the signs! Its too fast, Im happy the way things are!
Joey: What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Monica: Wh-what are we gonna tell him?
Rachel: What are you gonna do Pheebs?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are reading on the couch.]
Joey: Well, these really are the days of our lives.
Ross: Okay! Ho-ho! We did not steal your thunder because we are not getting back together!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Terry: Here are the audition scenes. (Holds out the script.)
Rachel: Hi! Tag. What are you doing here?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there.]
Ross: Uhh, those are tacos.
Ross: Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done.
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
Monica: Thats not true, there are great pictures of us!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are going through a bunch of pictures as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight?
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are still trying to get the picture taken.]
Rachel: Barbara! Hi, how are you? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, pleaHello? Hello? (hangs up phone, very depressed)
Monica: Are you okay?
Monica: (seeing him approach) Hey! There you are!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Monica: Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You cant eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are playing chess and are both studying the board intently.]
Rachel: Why?! What?! Are you kidding?!
Chandler: Come on! Why are we here?!
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Janice: How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! (Does the laugh.)
The Teacher: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesnt stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel wont stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are doing dishes as Joey enters.]