words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: How come you are?!
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? Weve got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
Joey: No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"
(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them)
Joey: Why, are you moving out?
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
...My mother's ashes Even her eyelashes Are resting in a little yellow jar, And sometimes when it's breezy...
Monica: Are you sure?
Chandler: So what are you gonna do?
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: All right, well, you're right, these are the best oatmeal cookies I've ever had.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Lesile, Kiki, and Joanne are talking.]
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'
[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Monica: Ooh...hey honey, are you all right?
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Monica: Where are you guys going? Come on, one more game!
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.
Monica: Hey, how long are you in the city?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
Phoebe: Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins?
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?
Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"
Monica: Okay...who are you?
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Rachel: Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
[Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, Chandler and Joey are talking.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]
(Enter Rachel and Paolo. They are both somewhat flustered)
Kristin: That's funny. Who are they?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are holding their boyfriend bonfire.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, firemen are there to handle the bonfire that got out of control.]
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
[Scene: Out in the hall, the firemen are talking.]
Fireman No. 3: Are you kidding? My girlfriend doesn't know, I'm not gonna tell them!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are babysitting Ben.]
Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?
Rachel: What are you going to make?
Rachel: (pause) And Monica, what are you going to make?
Rachel: So what are you guys going to do?
Chandler: Who are you going out with?
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?
{Transcriber's Note: The credits list two characters, Tia and Samantha, who I assume are the sweaty women Joey and Chandler meet. However, I don't know which is which, so I've simply called them Woman #1 and Woman #2.}
(Chandler kicks the door closed, angrily. His clothes are askew, he looks beat.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Ross are there, discussing what happened last night.]
Steve: Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are fantastic!
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
[Scene: Central Perk, all are there except Chandler.]
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Chandler: Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?
Joey: No, no... how come you are working here?
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Rachel: What are you playing with?
Monica: Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner! Okay, are we done with that?
Nina: Are you okay?
Jamie: No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... (shuddering at the memory) ..bringing swordfish. (Indicating the ladies bathroom) are you gonna go to the, um?
Phoebe: Much as you are.
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Monica: Are you alright?
Monica: Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside?
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]
Rachel: Are you seein her again tonight?
Chandler: What are you crazy? That's a baby!
Ross: What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Monica: Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
Dr. Mitchell: That's because they are.
Rachel: Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine.
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
Monica: I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby.
Rachel: Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother.
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there. Monica is just finishing cleaning the windows.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Rachel: Hi! How are you?
Ross: No, women are welcome to play.
Ross: You are way off, pal.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.]
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OKif you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there.]
Monica: Excuse me, where are you going?