words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: How come you are?!
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are taking a break from work.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.]
Monica: Are you a virgin?
Ross: Are you're hands still wet?
Chandler: Listen Phoebe, hes right. People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31.
Rachel: You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just... Wow!
Ross: What are you doing? We're going to a hospital.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it!
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Carol: Are they here yet?
[Scene: Carol's room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau are there with her.]
Rachel: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
Rachel: (anxiously) No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you?
Carol: Where are they?
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
Dr. Franzblau: I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone?
Phoebe: (laughing) You are just nonstop!
Chandler: (in a deep voice) Men are here.
Phoebe: So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your (provocatively) special someone?
[Time lapse. Chandler and Joey are making the fire, Monica and Phoebe are inside. Ross enters, carrying luggage.]
Phoebe: Nuh-uh. I don't think any of our lives are ever gonna be the same ever again.
Melanie: Oooh, I gotta tell you... you are nothing like I thought you would be.
[Scene: Joey's Bedroom, he and Melanie are in bed together.]
Monica: Then why the hell are you dumping my brother?!?
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Joey: What, are you crazy? When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this? (Joey closes his eyes and walks around with arms spread.)
Chandler: No, actually I meant my fingers. Look at 'em, look at how happy they are.
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Rachel: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.)
Rachel: These are, these aren't for you. (to Julie) These are for you. (Loudly, thinking she can't speak English.) Welcome to our country.
(There's a lot of yelling and screaming coming from the hallway, and they get up to look at what's the noise all about. In the hallway, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe are having another wind-up animal race, yelling and screaming fanatically.)
Ross: Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym.
Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Ross: Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here?
Chandler: Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
Joey: Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.
Rachel: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Ross: (to Monica) So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey and the Hombre man are facing off in Joey's section.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
Ross: Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today.
RACHEL: She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.
MONICA: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different.
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
MONICA: You are not a freak. You're a guy.
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, and Julie are sitting on the couch.]
ROSS: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know?
[Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]
Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt... but not a mom, never a mom!
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler & Nina are locked in a passionate embrace. Someone knocks, so they hurriedly separate to stare out of the window. Chandlers boss opens the door.]
RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous?
Ross: Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are
[Scene: At Chandler and Joey's. Ross and Chandler are there. Ross is watching wrestling.]
JADE: So, are we gonna get together or what?
ROSS: Oh my god. You are pure evil.
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
RACHEL: So uh, what are you guys doing for dinner tonight?
ROSS: Ok, sweetheart, I'll call you later tonight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, you're not really gonna go through with this, are you?
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
RACHEL: Yeah, these are pretty ch-ching.
JOEY: What are these, like famous chickens?
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
ROSS: Geez! Are you ready?
MONICA: You know, the guys are probably having a great time.
Flight Attendant: Oh, oooh. I'm sorry. You are not allowed on the jetway unless you have a boarding pass.
STEVE: How are you? Look, you guys wanna meet the group? Come on. So, are you one of the ones who fooled around with my dad?
[Scene: Museum of Prehistoric History, Ross and a co-worker (Marsha) are setting up an exhibit which includes some mannequins of cave people.]
ROSS: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Ben stops crying) Huh? There we are.
CHANDLER: Yes, apparently Stevie and the band are like this.
CAROLINE: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
CHANDLER: Well, we are great guys.
(Chandler and Joey are loaded down with baby stuff, and Ben)
PHOEBE: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing.
MONICA: Ok. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really, don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand!
Chandler: We are. Hes meeting us here.
CHAN: Alright, OK, alright. But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm goin' home.
CHANDLER: You, you are gonna love this.
STEPHANIE: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?