words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: How come you are?!
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Monica: Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong.
Rachel: (seeing him) Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh Im sorry the models are actually down the hall.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Ticket Agent: Oh, let me see what I can do. (Checks the computer) There are some first class seats available.
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Joey are playing Rock em, Sock em Robots.]
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Treeger, what are you doing?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Joey: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they dont even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box!
Joey: How are you doing?
Man: Who are you?
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]
Chandler: Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance
Monica: This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Rachel are entering with the rest of the gang already inside.]
Chandler: What the fu(beep)ck are you doing?!
Phoebe: Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lots and lots of love.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Joey: Whoa! What are you doing here? How did your date go?
Joey: No! No! No Ross! Im not hot! Are you hot?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are plugging in a bunch of electronics.]
Rachel: What are you talking about?!
Rachel: So uh, apparently people are familiar with the Europe story?
Rachel: You are undressing very quickly.
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Tim: You are so talented.
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are having dinner.]
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
Joey: (confused) Are we watchin the tape or not?!
Monica: Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe?
Rachel: Oh you did, there are twenty in here.
Ross: Wow! Uh how are you?
Chandler: (entering) Bob. Bob! Bob!!! (He turns around) What the hell are you doing?!
Monica: So Ross, are you gonna bring Mona?
Rachel: And you are a very funny clown. (Gives him candy.)
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Monica: What are you supposed to be?
Phoebe: Okay, I will. But right after you tell me who the hell you are.
Phoebe: Okay. (Hands him a napkin.) So, what are you?
Ross: Its not that. Okay? Annulments are more complicated than I
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Joey: Will you relax?! What are you taking this so seriously for? It doesnt matter.
Phoebe: No Im not! You are!
Rachel: Oh Gunther! You brought candy! Thank you so much for picking this up! You are so sweet.
Phoebe: Why are you lying to him?
Chandler: It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing?
Monica: Youre wrong! The centerpieces are fine! Do you ever get scared at all?
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Monica are standing in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Why are you looking at me like that?
Chandler: Oh whats the matter? Are you scared?
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Are you close with her?
Monica: (wary) Okay. So, which boxes are mine?
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Chandler: Are you sure? Did you see the stain?
Rachel: Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.
Brenda: (noticing him) What are you doing?
Rachel: Are you seriousReally?! Its in such good condition.
Rachel: Joey, are you sure?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Dr. Green: Are you really pregnant?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are reading a magazine and Ross is chatting with Mona.]
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
Rachel: Theres not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I are not getting married.
Chandler: What are you doing?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross and Mona are sitting on the couch.]
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still deciding what to do about the hooker.]
Monica: Oh my God Stu! I-I cant believe you did this! Now are you absolutely sure shes a hooker?
Chandler: Well yknow, things are different. Im Im married now.
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. (Time lapse) Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Monica: Ooh, these tennis shoes are so tight. I think Ill take them off. (Goes to do so.)
Chandler: (closing the box) Yknow what? Forget it! We are just hungry! We have not had lunch! We are just light-headed! So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Rachel: Wow! I dont remember him. Honey, are you sure youre not talking about your imaginary boyfriend.
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals!
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.