words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: How come you are?!
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Rachel: All right are you guys gonna come down?
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?
Rachel: Are you serious?
Ross: What are you talking about?
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Janice and him are cuddling]
Rachel: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: What are you saying I should do?
Malcom: What are you doing?
Ross: (to Chandler) Are you intrigued?
Chandler: Well, it's official there are no good movies.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Joey: What, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Rachel: Men are unbelievable.
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Janice are having dinner]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
Joey: Pheebs! There you are!
Janice: Are you being British?!
Janice: What are you doing here?
Janice: Why are you shopping here? You don't live in this neighborhood. Were you here waiting for me?
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are there]
Ross: Hey, what are you doing shopping at eight in the morning?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Monica: What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman.
Ross: What are you talking about?
Pete: I see him, you guys are just the worst hiders ever.
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
Frank: How are you?
Monica: I cant live like this! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?
Rachel: Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought.
Phoebe: All right, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees....
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe and Frank are watching TV.]
Phoebe: No, no, you can get one yourself. Itll be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for?
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Joey: So we are going on two?
Monica: Rach, are you really gonna let him do this?
Monica: Are you serious? (they all look) Oh my God.
[We see the rest of them are now crying.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there]
Monica: Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? (goes over to the kitchen to check on the dinner) No, cause I made lasagne. (to Rachel) Am I out of control?
Ross: Hey, y'know while were on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you dont live here anymore.
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
Chandler: Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now?
Phoebe: So what are they doing?
Monica: What are you doing with the lamp?
Mr. Heckles: (to Eric) Who are you?
Monica: Whoa! Are you okay?
Monica: Oh my God!!! What are you doing?!!
Monica: What are you talking about?
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
[Scene: Monicas, Chandler and Monica are still hugging each other.]
Ross: Stupid balls are in the way. (holds up two balls)
Monica: Hey, are you okay?
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Monica: Oh good, another dinosaur story. When are those gonna become extinct?
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Rachel: Are ah, having dinner with my Dad tomorrow night, I hope thats okay.
Ross: Okay, Im done with my choices, these are final. (holds up a little card)
PHOEBE: What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.
[Scene: Restaurant, Rachel and Ross and Dr. Green are having dinner.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
David: ...But, you can't actually test this theory, because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough to simulate these conditions.
[Scene: Hallway, Ross and Rachel are returning from dinner.]
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what are you doing?
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there, yelling at Joey.]
Ross: There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one.
Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.
Phoebe: So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, All are there except for Chandler.]
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross and the janitor are in the nocturnal house.]
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Monica: Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?
Janice: Why are your eyes so white?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
Monica: How are we gonna do that? Theres no way.
Joey: What are you ah, what are you gonna do?
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Janice are there.]
[Scene: A wintry February day in New York City, snowplows are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.]
Janice: Honey, honey, people are looking.