words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: How come you are?!
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross and the janitor are in the nocturnal house.]
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Monica: Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?
Janice: Why are your eyes so white?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
Monica: How are we gonna do that? Theres no way.
Joey: What are you ah, what are you gonna do?
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Janice are there.]
[Scene: A wintry February day in New York City, snowplows are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.]
Janice: Honey, honey, people are looking.
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
Chandler: But wait a minute though, how are we gonna get there, though, because my Mom wont let me cross the street.
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
Joey: All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but thats different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean?
Woman: (in a foreign accent) You are playing American football?
Ross: Im sorry, I dont believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there, the guys are watching football, the girls are cooking Thanksgiving dinner.]
Rachel: All right, so are we not having dinner at all?
Joey: What are you gonna do?
Rachel: Are you gonna let me play?
Chandler and Joey: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?
Monica: We have to do this. We are playing for women everywhere. Okay, just think about every lousy date that you ever had, okay, every guy who kept on the TV while youre making out...
Phoebe: All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys?
Rachel: Im so sorry! Are you okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
[Scene: The park, its dark outside and Monica and Ross are still fighting over the ball.]
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Joey: Hey. What, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
Phoebe: Chandler what are you doing?!
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Monica: (comes up and starts looking through Rosss cookie supply) Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
Guy: (muffled) Whoa, you are very beautiful.
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
Monica: Are we playing football or what? Come on you hairy-backed Marries.
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Cookie: Hey. What are we drinkin over here.
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Rachel: So, how are you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Rachel: Chandler! Youre smoking? What are you doing?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Monica: Are you crazy?!
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
Rachel: What are you doing here?
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Phoebe: What are you wrapping?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are there.]
Ross: Are you jealous?
Ross: You are totally jealous.
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Ross: So, are you gonna see him again?
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Richard: Tomatoes are squishing.
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Phoebe: What? (the guys keep laughing.) What? You guys, what is going on? You not like Robert? (the guys keep laughing.) Why are you laughing?!
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Robert: (running in) Oh, there they are! I-I dropped my keys.
Monica: What are you smiling at?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
RACHEL: Well those are very popular frames.
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?