words in movies
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Mrs. Green: Well all right. Ill see you at four.
Phoebe: Isnt it at three?
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Monica: Phoebe, Sandras mad at you too. It-it doesnt bother you?
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
Joey: Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris Holy cow, thats a big word. Trisc Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Monica: Thats right! Maybe its time you took a good hard look at a mirror young lady old lady lady!
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
Monica: (looking out the window) Hey Joey! Isn't that the girl that waved at you the other day?
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Chandler: The only way that I said six would be if the sevens, let meet at seven, not at six.
Monica: Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffeehouse at six.
Paul: Are you yelling at me?!
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
(The dry cleaner just stares at her and she retreats.)
Dr. Ledbetter: I wonder if its time for you to rejoin our team at the museum?
Phoebe: Dont feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isnt gay.
(The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.)
Chandler: (angrily) Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! (He storms out.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Monica: Hes with Emily at a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont!
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Monica: Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I-I-I just put our names down for fun! I mean, whats the harm in that?
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
Paul: Honey I made a reservation at China Garden, is that okay?
[Scene: A Jewelry Shop, Chandler and Phoebe are looking at engagement rings.]
Joey: (he stops screaming at action) "Take good care of your Momma son." (Again Alex does nothing.)
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
Phoebe: We stand firm at $10.
Male Jeweler: Okay, I can let it go at eight.
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Ross: I cant believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? Im a little mad at him now.
Ross: Yknow what? He didnt want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we dont talk to him at all!
Chandler: The actor playing Mac couldnt do it, they needed to see you at 2 oclock.
Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams
Chandler: Well, its because I trust you, youre one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures.
Chandler: No, its not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monicas face when I gave it to her, yknow? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing Im gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure its perfect.
Customer: Do you know who at my office?
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
(Chandler stares at him.)
Customer: (looks at it) All right. (Exchanges rings.)
Chandler: (glaring at her) Well, Monica and Chandler cant go. Were going to dinner remember?!
Joey: Thats not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Elizabeth: The guys across the hall are throwing water balloons at us.
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Joey: Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. (Points at a large piece of television equipment as an old man walks by.) And uh that is an old man! Hey old man!
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
Mr. Thompson: I think it was valued at 19,000
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.]
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Rachel: Well, itd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it.
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Rachel: Im so happy and not at all jealous.
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
(At the same time.)
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Ross: (drags Chandler over to buffet table) Im telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viscously screamed at total strangers! I think hes baaad news!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-IHey! I did not go out with your wife! (The same woman from before enters.) Okay? I went out with her! (Points at her.)
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Monica: (yelling at the top of her lungs) Im engaged!!!!!! Im engaged!!!!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Thank you Rachel but, look at Monica!
Chandler: Theres gonna be a wedding. Youre gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress.
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]
Ross: Yeah? I was good at the stuff huh?
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
Rachel: Oh, I know. Hey, yknow what we never did? (Ross looks at her.) Oh no, not that. (Ross nods okay.) We uh, we never had bonus night!
Rachel: Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff.
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Phoebe: You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?
Joey: Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle!
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
MONICA: Yeah, we switched meat suppliers at work, and the new guys gave me the steaks as sort of a thank-you.
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Joey: Yeah! If you wanna sing at their wedding, well you sing at their wedding!
Phoebe: Okay, you said I could sing at your wedding so, Im just gonna need a small deposit.
Monica: Its all everybody at the party could talk about!
Chandler: Well, somebody should. (Monica glares at him.)
Ross: I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.
(Ross looks at Chandler.)
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Ross: (at the door) And uh, Rachel.
Chandler: (interrupting her just in time) Hey! Heres a dollar, consider it a deposit. Please sing at our wedding.
Monica: Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too!
Chandler: Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place?
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!