words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.]
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Joey is telling everyone about his impending termination at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
Monica: Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffeehouse at six.
Chandler: The only way that I said six would be if the sevens, let meet at seven, not at six.
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Phoebe: (writing in her book) Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Paul: Are you yelling at me?!
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is outside the bathroom yelling at Ross who's in the bathroom.]
PHOEBE: OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know.
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
MONICA: Hi sweetie, look before I forget, did I leave my diaphram at your place? Hi mom. [she starts throwing oranges at Ross who's looking pleased with himself]
[there's a loud bang at the door so Ross opens it back up to find a shoe has been thrown at it]
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
PHOEBE: Oh yeah, it'll be fun. [throws a tennis ball at Eddie's bedroom door]
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
RICHARD: Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring.
PHOEBE: Ooh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion?
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?
ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
JOEY: So, you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Were practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.)
JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
[Scene: Joey is at the cab driver interview.]
CHANDLER: Oh hey listen, don't be mad at him, it's our fault. I'm sorry we've been hoggin so much of his time.
PHOEBE: Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date.
JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]
Video:April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt), 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment by....
CHANDLER: No no, seriously, Joey's my dad, Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work.
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
MONICA: Come here. I'll make you feel like one of the guys. You know for a really cool guy, you suck at foosball.
Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
[they sit at the couch]
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
CHANDLER: The mean guys at the coffee house took my hat.
JOEY: Alright, just one. [she licks his hands rather emphatically] Wow, you're good at that.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Emily: They were so ornate and beautiful, I mean look at that! (Shows them a doorknob she has.)
RACHEL: Look at her.
[Scene: The 50's theme cafe. Monica is working the grill, the rest are at a table.]
[Joey is staring at Monica's breasts]
[knock at the door]
[knock at the door, Monica answers to see Mrs. Greene]
Ross: Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can’t sleep without it.
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
RACHEL: Well, I have to be, I don't really have a choice, I mean, you know, I could look at the bright side, I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.
[Back at Monica's party]
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party]
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
[Chandler and Joey stop dancing and laugh at her]
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party. Everyone is dancing and having fun.]
[Back at Monica's party]
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
Phoebe: (to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
RACHEL: So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?
MONICA: Ok, you see, the tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.
RYAN: Why aren't you at home in bed?
Joey: Anyway! Her and Ross just started yelling at each other.
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. (Note: Actually, I think every guy is thankful for thongs. That and spandex. J )
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
ROSS: Hey, I've been doin' it since the ninth grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it.
ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
(Chandler clutches at his phone before realising.)
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
PHOEBE: Well at least we know she's a woman.
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
RICHARD: Oh, that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars.(they both start laughing at Richard's poor joke) See, we're having fun.
Monica: Yknow what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live!
(She turns around and glares at him, he turns away.)
Joey: I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me.
Phoebe: Oh my God, has she slept at all?
Rachel: Why aren't you at work?
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Ross: No, a car backfired, but (Rachel suddenly calms down) I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And Rach, I I survived! And I was filled with this-this great respect for life. Y'know? I-I want to experience every moment. I want to seize every opportunity. I-I am seeing everything so-so clearly now.
Monica: Because I don't work at the Szechwan Dragon.
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
Rachel: (entering from bathroom) Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy.
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.
Ross: Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late.
Chandler: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Joey: Oh my, would you look at that! (holds up crossed fingers)
Rachel: Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly!
PHOEBE: So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that (points at the computer screen).
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...