words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.]
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Joey is telling everyone about his impending termination at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
Monica: Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffeehouse at six.
Chandler: The only way that I said six would be if the sevens, let meet at seven, not at six.
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Phoebe: (writing in her book) Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Paul: Are you yelling at me?!
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
(Everyone looks at her)
Monica: At least you took me down with you!
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
David: Well, I was probably going to do it at some point.
Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!
Chandler: (at the laptop) Oh, no, no, no dear God, no!
Chandler: Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now...!
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey).
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!
Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
(the paleontologist glares at Chandler)
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
(Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.)
Joey: (bewildered) Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun!
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel]
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
(David produces the ring. At the same time, Mike walks in, behind David)
(They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all)
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
(They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Chandler: Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing.
Phoebe: Aaah... you're not good at this...
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous!
Rachel: Excuse me! (and she walks back to Joey, who is still looking very impressed about what Ross said to him. Rachel looks at him and hits him.) You didn't tell him, did you?
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Monica: Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... (plays with her hair to make the shells tingle again) Ow!
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Chandler: You can't move at all?
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
(Rachel looks at him.)
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
(Monica glares at him.)
(Little Chandler is pulling Chandler's sweater, while Leslie is throwing bagels at him.)
Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
Charlie: Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment.
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
(Monica looks at him.)
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
(The triplets stare at him.)
Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)
Joey: Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at.
Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW!
Chandler: Hey! Stop staring at my wife's legs! No no! Stop staring at your sister's legs!
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Chandler: I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didnt ask me to go do it with her in the vault.
Ross: (looks at her suspiciously) How do you count to five?
(Chandler starts looking at her bra)
(Chandler resumes staring at Monica's bra)
Joey: Uh! (When she's done she throws her bra at him)
Rachel: Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it!
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
(Monica and Phoebe look at each other and leave the apartment again)
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
(They look at each other for a while)
(They both stare for a while, and then look at each other)
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Judy:(to Jack) Jack, look at this.
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Monica: No! Wait! If anybody gets to go.. it's us (Points at herself and Chandler) We've been complaining the longest!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Monica: (to the dog) What are you barking at?
Ross: (looks back at the cake) Hey!
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Phoebe: (pointing at cake) Hey, you made it into a bunny.
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
(they start kissing but someone knocks at the door)
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Joey: (yelling at her) I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?