words in movies
Joey: What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Monica: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (Its a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
The Stripper: Ohhh, look at the little birdies! Are those yours?
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)
The Stripper: You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.
Phoebe: I-I wanted to apologise if Iyknow seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Yknow its just the hormones, yknow.
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Chandler: Could I be more sorry. (Looks at Joey.)
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Chandler: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know
Joey: Rach! Rach! Listen, I'm gonna kiss you at midnight.
(Shes interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of braking dishes. Followed quickly by another crash. Everyone turns and looks at the back room, as Gunther emerges.)
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Joey: Well, you suck! But at least you suck at a man's game now.
Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
(Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.)
Joey: (sitting back down) Was the chord at least right
(All at once.)
[Scene: Chandler's office, Monica and him are at a party his office is throwing.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Chandler: Hey! Everybody at work loved you last night!
Monica: Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating?
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
ERNIE: Oh wow, look at this nice deep hole I've been digging. Hey Bert, isn't this a nice hole here. Hey.
Joey: (entering) Hey guys! I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today!
Chandler: So I laugh at my boss's jokes, what's the big deal?
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: That's good enough. Right? (Pause.) Okay, well umm, I'm gonna go look at my books!
Monica: Y'know when I said to you earlier that I was at work umm, I'm at my new work.
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
(All at once.)
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
Rachel: (glaring at him) Joey
(Chandler glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders. Monica serves again; and Kara returns it.)
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
(They all turn and glare at Ross.)
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch, and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much. Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why, you cry and you cry and you cry. And you cry and you cry and you cry...
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Monica: I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
Monica: Well, at least you scared someone.
The Housekeeper: More turkey Mr. Chandler? (And he makes eyes at him.)
Frank Sr.: I just, I y'know, I'm not very good at this. So, umm (Backs away.)
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
(They all run and join her at the window.)
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Chandler: The weirdest thing happened at the coffee house, I think, I think Phoebe was hitting on me.
(They all turn and with shocked looks on their faces stare at Ross. Ross is at a loss for words at this moment.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is looking at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment through binoculars.]
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
Chandler: At this?!
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Chandler: (looks at what she's holding and shies away) Oh dear God, they gave us glasses!
Frank: Cause it just sorta happened, yknow we were at the courthouse, we were having lunch
Chandler: Oh! Look at that, time's up! My turn!
Chandler: Okay. It's not different at all, is it?
Monica: Gunther, can I get a coffee (Looks at Chandler) to go?
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
Rachel: Well, I was actuallyI-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.
Rachel: Look at that!
(Ross turns and glares at Phoebe.)
Dr. Long: (looks at her beeping pager) Oh, Ill be right back. And, uh, I know its really not my place, but please dont name your child Phoebo.
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
Rachel: Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! (She doesn't move.)
(She looks at Rachel and storms out. After she's left Joey hugs Rachel in thanks.)
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
Joey: That's not funny at all!
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Rachel: (looking at the bill) Uhh, we still need a tip.
Joey: (looks at her) Not really.
(He starts staring at her longingly.)
Chandler: (looking at the sketch) Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
Ross: This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? (Laughs--whines as he sees that no one is laughing. They're just staring at him in shock.)
PHOEBE: Yes that's right. But still, I-, look at your purse, look at your sweater, look at yourselves.
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
Cop: Yeah. Ever since you flashed my badge at me, I kinda can't stop thinking about you. You're the prettiest, fake undercover whore I've ever seen.
Phoebe: Yeah, we'll talk at dinner.
Gary: Not as impressive as you. I gotta tell you, I looked at your record and you've done some pretty weird stuff.
Rachel: Well, I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow!
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the window waving at Ross.]
Ross: Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok!
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
(Joey is bent over at the waist and is looking for something under Monica's bed.)
Phoebe: But it's just so unfair that our date has to get cut short just 'cause some guy shot at a store clerk.
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
Ross: Yes. I lived with you guys for a while and then I found this place. (Joey just stares at him) I'm Ross.
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Monica: Phoebe and Gary are so gonna hear about this at dinner.
Rachel: Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it.
ROSS: No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. [Monica comes out of her room] Oh, were you takin' a nap?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]
Chandler: Hey Rach, now that you're working at Ralph Lauren, can you bring me back some of those polo shirts?
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!