words in movies
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Ross: Where'd you get fruit at four in the morning?
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Rachel: Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Ross: Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?
Ross: (buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Rachel: (Looks at him) You're so pretty.
Rachel: Down at the docks again?
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
Joey: Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?
ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
JOEY: So, you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Were practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.)
JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
[Scene: Joey is at the cab driver interview.]
CHANDLER: Oh hey listen, don't be mad at him, it's our fault. I'm sorry we've been hoggin so much of his time.
PHOEBE: Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date.
JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]
Video:April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt), 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment by....
CHANDLER: No no, seriously, Joey's my dad, Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work.
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
MONICA: Come here. I'll make you feel like one of the guys. You know for a really cool guy, you suck at foosball.
Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
[they sit at the couch]
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
CHANDLER: The mean guys at the coffee house took my hat.
JOEY: Alright, just one. [she licks his hands rather emphatically] Wow, you're good at that.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Emily: They were so ornate and beautiful, I mean look at that! (Shows them a doorknob she has.)
RACHEL: Look at her.
[Scene: The 50's theme cafe. Monica is working the grill, the rest are at a table.]
[Joey is staring at Monica's breasts]
[knock at the door]
[knock at the door, Monica answers to see Mrs. Greene]
Ross: Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can’t sleep without it.
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
RACHEL: Well, I have to be, I don't really have a choice, I mean, you know, I could look at the bright side, I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.
[Back at Monica's party]
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party]
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
[Chandler and Joey stop dancing and laugh at her]
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party. Everyone is dancing and having fun.]
[Back at Monica's party]
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
Phoebe: (to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
RACHEL: So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?
MONICA: Ok, you see, the tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.
RYAN: Why aren't you at home in bed?
Joey: Anyway! Her and Ross just started yelling at each other.
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. (Note: Actually, I think every guy is thankful for thongs. That and spandex. J )
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
ROSS: Hey, I've been doin' it since the ninth grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it.
ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
(Chandler clutches at his phone before realising.)
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
Monica: Yknow what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live!
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
RICHARD: Oh, that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars.(they both start laughing at Richard's poor joke) See, we're having fun.
PHOEBE: Well at least we know she's a woman.
Rachel: Why aren't you at work?
(She turns around and glares at him, he turns away.)
Phoebe: Oh my God, has she slept at all?
Joey: I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me.
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
Monica: Because I don't work at the Szechwan Dragon.
Ross: No, a car backfired, but (Rachel suddenly calms down) I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And Rach, I I survived! And I was filled with this-this great respect for life. Y'know? I-I want to experience every moment. I want to seize every opportunity. I-I am seeing everything so-so clearly now.
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.
Rachel: (entering from bathroom) Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy.
Rachel: Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly!
Ross: Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late.
Chandler: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Joey: Oh my, would you look at that! (holds up crossed fingers)
PHOEBE: So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that (points at the computer screen).
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Machine: Message erased. To record a message begin speaking at the tone.
(They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.)
[Scene: Phoebe's grandmother's place. Phoebe's grandmother is sitting at the table, reading the obituaries, and crossing out names in the phonebook.]
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
[Scene: At the banquet]
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
(They move to kiss, but realise that Chandler is staring at them. Chandler urges them on.)
(They all start laughing at him)
Rachel: Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood.
(They click their glasses and take a sip. That sip turns into a gulp, which quickly progresses into their mutual draining of their glasses at once.)
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!