words in movies
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall?
Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!
Chandler: (pointing at himself) Little people?
Joey: (pointing at himself) Celebrity.
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
Phoebe: Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won’t be needing a veil, I actually won’t be wearing a dress at all!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel are at the playground with Emma. Rachel in putting her back in the stroller and Ross is tending to his wound]
Ross: SON OF A BITCH! (turns to his right to see three kids staring at him) (To the kids) Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! (They go away)
Rachel: (looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.
Mike: Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that.
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Ross: (Gasps and speaks at a higher pitch) This feels perfectly normal. Ok, get on the swing!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
(Ross points at him and exits.)
Ross: Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Phoebe: Ross, youre tired. Youve been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Is that him? (She points at someone.)
Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew I shouldve hid at the gym!
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Phoebe: Yeah but the Swing Kings? Yknow they suck so much that people actually die at their concertsThey just stop living.
Ross: Im telling you, just a little bit at a time.
(Ross just glares at her.)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Monica:: Oh well this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Chandler: Trust me, you dont want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Monica: Well, the good news is, I dont think anyones looking at us.
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel at their table.]
[Cut to the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table hes at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.]
Dennis Phillips: Oh, Im so sorry I missed the ceremony, I was stuck at auditions.
Ross: Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six.
Chandler: (looking at Joeys feet) Those arent eleven and a half.
(Ross starts looking for table six and finds out that its the kids table. He sees Mona sitting at another table.)
Monica: Oh. (turns and looks at Joey, who gives a way-to-go thumbs up and smile.)
[Cut to Monica and Rachel at their table.]
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. Ill take care of everything.
Rachel: Oh wait! Yknow what? I cant, I cant look at it. I cant. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Joey: Look at this! A millionaire's checkbook.
[Scene: The Hotel Lobby, Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk checking out.]
Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
Ross: Im just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Man At The Wedding: But there was no flash.
Man At The Wedding: Uh, would you take one of us?
Woman At The Wedding: It didnt click.
Woman At The Wedding: Why wont you take our picture?
Man At The Wedding: Uh, your finger was covering the lens.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)
Ross: Oh hey, right back at ya.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Melissa: (laughs) Oh you dont have to be (Laughs again) sorry. Im Im obviously kidding. Im not in love with you. (To Phoebe) Im not in love with her. I dont hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I dont picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh kiss good-bye? (Rachel stares at her stunned.) No? Okay. (Hurries into the cab and drives off.)
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
Dina: Well, at least Im not a murderer! (Jessica slaps her.)
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Phoebe: Well at Monicas you can eat(Suddenly cracks up.)
Chandler: (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring youre about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, Im gonna need to have that back. (The guy isnt sure.) But, in exchange Im willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew.
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Bitsy: Well, not at all...
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Ross: (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
(Rachel looks at Ross and gets his approval.)
Joey: Whom. (Everyone looks at him shocked.) Thats right.
Phoebe: Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lots and lots of love.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Joey: Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
(Joeys shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
The Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be
Chandler: I used to undress my cousin Glenn. (Monica looks at him then sushes him.)
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
(They both look at Phoebe.)
Rachel: Yeah, one time, when we were dating, uh we got a late checkout, he got so excited it was the best sex we ever had. Until yknow, he screamed out Radisson at the end.
Phoebe: Now wasnt Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
Joey: Yes I did! Im Chandler. (Looks at Chandler) Dude, what happened?
Chandler: No bunny at all!! Always no bunny at all!!!