words in movies
Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.
Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?
Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
Dr. Franzblau: So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?
Monica: I want a baby.
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
Joey: Oh, just had a baby.
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.
(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)
Monica: (interrupting) You have nothing! You're not even going out! You're her baby sitter! You have a 12-year-old girl's job!
Rachel: Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody whos had a baby. Like your mom?
Anchorwoman: (on TV) While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. (Joey is intrigued by the idea) Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys wont live to see the fourth of July. (Joey starts to call a place to buy a little baby chick) Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead.
Chandler: Well believe it baby!
Frank: MY SISTERS GONNA HAVE MY BABY!!!!!!!
Phoebe: Okay, but this cant be good for the baby.
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
Phoebe: It kicked! I think the baby kicked!
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Phoebe: Ha-ha, its not my baby, ha-ha-ha! (He leaves.)
Phoebe: Oh, poor baby.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! The baby just kicked!
Phoebe: I cant help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat.
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
Rachel: No-n-n-n-no! I am finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasnt working out to well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed.
Joey: (He starts looking longingly at the sandwich.) Oh mama! Uh when-when is the baby due?
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Chandler: Hey! Do we have a baby name yet?
Phoebe: No! No! I-I meant for the baby!
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
Chandler: Yeah baby!
Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, youve just had your first class!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, well Yeah, no use wasting this baby, just lyin around the house.
Chandler: Yeah baby!
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe!
Rachel: Oh my God! We are throwing the most depressing baby shower ever!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebes baby shower, she is holding those leather pants, and isnt happy about it.]
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Chandler: What a baby.
Joey: London baby!! (And Rachel slowly closes the door, sadly.)
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Monica: Wait, you cant have the baby here! I mean I havent sterilised it since the guys moved out!
Joey: (louder) London baby!!
Joey: London baby!
Joey: Thats Fergie baby!!
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
Monica: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (Its a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)
The Cigarette Smoking Guy: (No, not the Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files.) Well, maybe you and your baby should go to another strip club.
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Phoebe: I already had a baby. Leave me alone.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
Phoebe: Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones!
Rachel: (Resenting the truth) I am not a baby! You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we...
Monica: I do not have baby fever!
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
Chandler: Yes! You want babies! You have baby fever!
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
Joey: That's right baby.
Ross: You sang Baby Got Back didn't you?
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Joey: You just give him a spoon baby!
Dr. Harad: All right. Here's your first baby.
Woman No. 1: (looks into the box) Oh my God! What's wrong with your baby?!
Rachel: It's not a baby! It's a cat!
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
Ross: Okay, I'm the baby. (Points at his eye.)
Monica: That's right baby! Okay, what do I want now?
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Chandler: All right, great, road trip baby! (To Monica) This okay with you?
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
Rachel: I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'?
Monica: All right baby, come on! (Rolls the dice) Yes! Yes! I am on fire!
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. Hes on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. Its watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Joey: Yeah baby!
Joey: Yeah baby!
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Phoebe: (stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and Im nervous cause Ive never done that before by myself!
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Monica: Yeah baby! (Phoebe and Joey nod.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Rachel: Yknow I cant even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I cant believe how much I love her, I cant get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
Monica: (To Rachel) Hey! Dont be a baby!
Rachel: (who has just entered) Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one cry baby, Ill dump you too!
Monica: You said the baby.
Chandler: Why would the baby creep me out?
Chandler: Hey honey, you got the kind with the little girl, you said we were gonna to get the kind with the baby.
Monica: Well Im Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
Monica: No, you said the baby creeps you out.
Rachel: Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May we help you?
Monica: Hey baby. (Kisses him.)
Joey: (jumping up and removing the bandages) Im back baby! Ha-ha-ha!
Rachel: Hi! I just want to apologize. Im really sorry I was a baby.
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!