words in movies
Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.
Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?
Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
Dr. Franzblau: So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?
Monica: I want a baby.
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
Joey: Oh, just had a baby.
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.
(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Chandler (to Monica): We have to get out of here, baby!
Rachel: Yeah baby, I'll show you how we do it!
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Ross: (a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.
Amy: Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist.
Rachel: So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?
Benjamin: No! I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby It's You". Baby It's You.
Rachel: Oh, don't be such a baby!
Joey: Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby?
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
Phoebe: Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant.
Rachel: No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby!
Phoebe: We can't leave now! There was this one baby, Haley, who was favourite to win and she got croup, so she had to stay home! This competition just blew wide open, folks!
Monica: WE'RE GETTING A BABY!
Monica: Yep, we're gonna meet the lady who could be carrying our baby.
Monica: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler)
Phoebe: What are you gonna name the baby?
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and (to Chandler) you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! {she leaves)
Ross: (he takes a baby blue beret out of a shopping box and puts it on) How does this look?
Chandler: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. (to Monica) Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
Monica: I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us?
Monica: (very emotional) Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.
Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug)
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
Erica: Giving you my baby? You think I'd give you my child after this?
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
Chandler: You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again.
Chandler: You still want that baby?
Ross: I know, and with the baby coming?
Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.
Monica: And a baby...
Monica: Joey. Erica, baby!
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
Monica: Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat!
Chandler: That's what we were gonna name the baby.
Monica: Everyone. Erica, baby!
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Erica: No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out.
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Phoebe: It's a baby chick and duck!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
(The baby starts crying, and the doctor holds it up.)
Chandler: (emotional) It's a baby! A beautiful little baby! And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see.
Doctor: The next baby should be along in a minute.
Phoebe: How sweet! Oh, is that the baby?
Joey: It's a... It's a "welcome home" sign for the baby.
(Ross enters with a gift for the baby.)
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
(He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.)
Mrs. Green: You cant leave a baby alone!
(They all walk over to see the baby.)
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
Rachel: Well Ill tell ya! (Pause) See uh my-my boss and his wifeThey-they cant have children. So umm, and thatwe were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
[Scene: Baby beauty contest]
Ross: Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Ross: Oh, it was good! It was good. Actually, the baby started kicking!
Monica: I know. Hey, do you realize we may have just changed our lives forever? We may have just started a family. Nine months from now we can be here, having our own baby.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Monica: Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! (runs into the bedroom)
Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard.
Joey: Yes I do! And were gonna go out, were gonna have a good time, and take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out
[Scene: Beth Israel Medical Center, Phoebe is at her OB-GYN doing an ultrasound, Rachel is with her. We here the babys heartbeat.]
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
(He shows them a beautiful banner he has made. It reads, "Welcome to the World, Baby Bing.")
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Joey: Its all London, baby! Here we go. (He takes a picture of a less than enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls apartment.)
Monica: Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can�t get in there] (?), the baby�s fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell your] story walking. (?)
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Monica: (points at the baby she's holding) This is a boy, (points at the baby Chandler is holding) and that's a girl.
Rachel: Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica are talking about the baby, and Monica is rubbing Erica's tummy.]
Rachel: Wow! I dont know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper.
Joey: Great Great and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didnt want to make a big deal out of this, you know. (She starts to collect all the girlie stuff up.) You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.
Joey: Dina, if youre having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, thats not a compliment!
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Rachel: Youre so sweet. (Notices something in the crib.) Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy! (A stuffed penguin wearing a ski jacket, goggles, and hat.)