words in movies
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
Rachel: Oh well yeah me too. Um.. I had a baby.
Amy coming out of the bathroom: Hey. Hey where's the baby?
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Amy: I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby?
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
Rachel: Yeah.. yeah right.. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer.
Rachel: Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
Amy: Do you want to know why you don't want me to have the baby?
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Amy: So you're going to give me the baby?
Dr. Harad: All right. Here's your first baby.
Joey: That's right baby.
Woman No. 1: (looks into the box) Oh my God! What's wrong with your baby?!
Rachel: It's not a baby! It's a cat!
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Chandler: All right, great, road trip baby! (To Monica) This okay with you?
Ross: Okay, I'm the baby. (Points at his eye.)
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
Monica: That's right baby! Okay, what do I want now?
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
Rachel: I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'?
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Monica: All right baby, come on! (Rolls the dice) Yes! Yes! I am on fire!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. Hes on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. Its watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
Phoebe: (stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and Im nervous cause Ive never done that before by myself!
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Joey: Yeah baby!
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Joey: Yeah baby!
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Rachel: Yknow I cant even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I cant believe how much I love her, I cant get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her.
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!
Rachel: (who has just entered) Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one cry baby, Ill dump you too!
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
Monica: Yeah baby! (Phoebe and Joey nod.)
Monica: You said the baby.
Chandler: Why would the baby creep me out?
Chandler: Hey honey, you got the kind with the little girl, you said we were gonna to get the kind with the baby.
Monica: Well Im Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
Monica: (To Rachel) Hey! Dont be a baby!
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Rachel: Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May we help you?
Monica: Hey baby. (Kisses him.)
Joey: (jumping up and removing the bandages) Im back baby! Ha-ha-ha!
Rachel: Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby!
Monica: No, you said the baby creeps you out.
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Ross: Yes! My babys finally free!
Rachel: Hi! I just want to apologize. Im really sorry I was a baby.
Joey: (shocked) I can do an English accent?! That babys going on my resume!
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Chandler: Our baby.
Phoebe: I know! Monicas gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Chandler: (To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.
Monica: We have a baby?
Phoebe: Oh and theyre gonna have a baby.
Monica: What baby?
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
Rachel: I know, I lied! I didnt want her to think I was a terrible mother! I cant even see my own baby!
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Rachel: Well then you have his baby.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
Joey: Oh my God Pheebs! Youre gonna have a baby?
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
Phoebe: Thank God, cause that hair on a baby
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Rachel: Im having a baby.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Ross: Yeah, thats our baby.
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Monica: It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean youre having a baby!
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: Yeah, but when the baby comes shes gonna want to move.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Phoebe: Why, so he can get mad at the baby?