words in movies
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Phoebe: (Excited, running back to her seat) Oh!
Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Joey: Oh, .. uh... uh... pass. (Next word: "Rotunda") Pass. (Next word: "Filibuster" stares at it a moment) Pass. (Henrietta is looking very confused) (Next word: "Addendum" 4 seconds remaining) Okay, the little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat.
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
[Flashback scene: We cut back to the 80's party. Rachel and Monica are "dancing".]
Rachel: (blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!")
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
[Scene: Back at the party in 1987. People are dancing to "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps.]
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
Chandler: Okay, give me a chance to win my money back. Okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
Rachel: Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back.
(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)
Ross: And now you want that money back.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Chandler: Well, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? (Holds up a deck of cards.)
Ross: Put it back exactly where you found it?
Chandler: Yes I'm gonna put it back (Mocking Ross) exactly where I found it.
Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
Ross: Whoa, whoa, but then the back of the couch won't line up with he back of the carpet.
Chandler: Look, we have no time okay? We must focus. We gotta get everything back into its original place.
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
[Phoebe comes back from Rachels old room.]
Rachel: I just- I dont think us getting back together is a good idea.
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Pete: Ah, no it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. (to other caller) Yeah. (listens) Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. (pause) Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back.
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Rachel: Cos I was gonna say theres no way you couldve done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Ross: I dont know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
Rachel: Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, yknow like back then.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is coming back from using the phone.]
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Gunther: He can have his job back.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment.
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
Monica: What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me.
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!
Joey: (sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!
Chandler: Theres no back to this couch!
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Joey: Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs(He gasps in horror.) Oh! (Runs out and Chandler just shakes his head. After a second Joey runs back in to grab a piece of pizza and runs back out.)
Ross: (putting the magazine back and holding the money for it) Okay.
Ross: Youre welcome. (Gently kicks her back.)
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Monica's Boyfriend: Yknow what honey? I got to get back to the hospital.
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
Guy All the Way in the Back: Yeah, I heard it.
Monica: Say it louder, I dont think the guy all the way in the back heard you!
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Phoebe: Surprise! Look whos back!
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
[Cut back to her room, Joey and Ross are sitting there waiting for her.]
Rachel: Okay. (She climbs back onto the couch.)
Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Woman: Wow! Well, welcome back!
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
[Scene: A hospital hallway, Chandler is sitting on a gurney with his hands spread out behind his back. Then Monica comes and plops down on the gurney and one of his hands. Chandler immediately recoils in extreme pain.]
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
Carl: (sticking his head back in) Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake?
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Monica: (pulling Rachel back down) Yes, they can stay with us.
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Monica: (pulling the plate back) Oh-ho! But not in here! Cant eat em in bed, remember? No crumbies!
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
[Cut back to the present.]
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
[Joey's place. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to and throws the phone back down.]
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
[Cut back to the present, they are still in each others embrace.]
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Joey: Hey! So Im back.
Ross: Youre back.