words in movies
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Phoebe: (Excited, running back to her seat) Oh!
Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Joey: Oh, .. uh... uh... pass. (Next word: "Rotunda") Pass. (Next word: "Filibuster" stares at it a moment) Pass. (Henrietta is looking very confused) (Next word: "Addendum" 4 seconds remaining) Okay, the little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat.
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
[Flashback scene: We cut back to the 80's party. Rachel and Monica are "dancing".]
Rachel: (blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!")
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
[Scene: Back at the party in 1987. People are dancing to "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps.]
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
[Scene: A hospital hallway, Chandler is sitting on a gurney with his hands spread out behind his back. Then Monica comes and plops down on the gurney and one of his hands. Chandler immediately recoils in extreme pain.]
Carl: (sticking his head back in) Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake?
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Monica: (pulling Rachel back down) Yes, they can stay with us.
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Monica: (pulling the plate back) Oh-ho! But not in here! Cant eat em in bed, remember? No crumbies!
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
[Cut back to the present.]
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
[Joey's place. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to and throws the phone back down.]
[Cut back to the present, they are still in each others embrace.]
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Ross: Youre back.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Joey: Hey! So Im back.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
Elizabeth: (laughs) Ill be back in ten minutes.
Paul: Ill be right back. (He goes to get the ice.)
Paul: Okay. Ill be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Joey: Yes, its in my In in my pocket. (Paul hasnt dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!
Chandler: Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Rachel: Hi. Im back.
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Phoebe: Oh! Oop! (Hands him back the ring.)
Chandler: Look, uh, just come later, we'll get everything squared away and you can come back later.
Monica: Oh my God, Richard. (Yep, Richards back.)
Chandler: Yeah, Ill sit down. (He slides back into his chair.)
Monica: YeahOh thats right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back.
Kristen: Oh okay. But yknow what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back.
Joey: Oh my God, youre back!
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
Monica: Oh God (Starts looking around.) Why dont they put chairs back here?!
Monica: Yknow youre really not supposed to be back here!
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
Phoebe: Okay, this kind of back talk is not gonna fly when were married!
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
[Cut back inside.]
[Cut back inside.]
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
Rachel: Yknow, bonus night. Yknow, when two people break up but they get back together for just one night.
Monica: No its not! No! No! Now its about you and Ross getting back together!
Phoebe: (coming back out) Hey! Rachel! Come on!!!!
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
Chandler: Okay. (Goes back to bed.)
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
(She comes back out.)
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Phoebe: What? You mean behind my back?
Joey: Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives!
Rachel: (grabbing Phoebe) Okay. Well be right back. (They go into her office and she closes the door.)
Phoebe: You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Joey: (jumping up and removing the bandages) Im back baby! Ha-ha-ha!
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
Rachel: Oh yeah. All right, back to work.
Phoebe: (gets up and starts to leave) We want the last six years back!!
Phoebe: You dont have to be back for a half-hour!
Rachel: Ohhhhhhhh God. (climbs off his back)
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Chandler: Well, cause she came back the third summer and shed gotten really fa-aa-aw-ow
Ross: Just uh, brought back your videos.
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Joey: And shes back in the game.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
Dr. Miller: Okay then, I guess we'll see you back here in three months.
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Monica: She sent the chicken back again?!
The Waitress: She says its to dry now and she wants to come back here and explain to you exactly how she wants it.
Joey: Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall?
Phoebe: Then change it back!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]