words in movies
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Phoebe: (Excited, running back to her seat) Oh!
Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Joey: Oh, .. uh... uh... pass. (Next word: "Rotunda") Pass. (Next word: "Filibuster" stares at it a moment) Pass. (Henrietta is looking very confused) (Next word: "Addendum" 4 seconds remaining) Okay, the little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat.
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
[Flashback scene: We cut back to the 80's party. Rachel and Monica are "dancing".]
Rachel: (blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!")
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
[Scene: Back at the party in 1987. People are dancing to "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps.]
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Rachel: I tried! They won't take her back.
Monica: Rach, why won't they take it back?
Monica: So, why don't you just take it back to where you got it?
Joey: Did you get your money back?
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Joey: Well, back to square one.
Dr. Miller: 1 2 3! (Rachel jerks back on 3.)
Rachel: I'm sorry. All right, I'll just stay in here this time. (Puts her head back.) Okay.
[Time lapse. The girls have Ross pinned face down. Phoebe is sitting on his back and arms while holding his head down and facing Rachel. Rachel is sitting on his knees and holding his lower legs vertically, causing Ross pain.]
Chandler: So, just the ones gave back to us and we had framed! (Slams the framed invitation down onto the table.)
Chandler: Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors.
Monica: Put your head back.
Ross: Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
A Casino Boss: Hey! Tribbiani! Get back to work! Break time's over!
Monica: (entering) Phoebe? (Phoebe comes back into the living room) Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Monica, here's your broom back.
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
(They both bounce back into the bathroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]
Chandler: Again I must go back to, how?
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Rachel: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
Phoebe: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.
Joey: Okay! (Walks away, then turns back.) How you doin'?
Joey's Hand Twin: (tries to leave) I have to get back to
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?
Ross: (he puts it in his mouth) Nope! Something else. (Throws it back under the bed.)
Monica: Oh that's okay. Dont worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back.
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
(The security guard from before approaches and Phoebe tries to turn her back on him.)
Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
(Phoebe and Joey run back out and head towards the street.)
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Joey: I dont want to drive all the way back by myself, I get so lonely. (Gets an idea.) Ohooh! How about you come with me?
Joey: Oh, heres where I win all my money back! (Gets up and heads for the buffet table with Chandler in tow.)
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
[Scene: Phoebes cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is driving while Joey is sleeping.]
(Monica starts biting on the eyedropper, spraying the fluid all over. But Rachel keeps turning her head back and forth and Monica keeps missing.)
LIPSON: I'm sorry. Look, I know this can't bring him back but here, it's just a gesture.
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Yknow what? Im not talking to you! You go back to sleep! (To the hitchhiker) And you, are you a rapist?!
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. (Turns towards the door, pauses, and turns back.) Like youd believe that. This sucks!
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Chandler: Okay, so thats it, everybody knows! Its official, were moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Rachel: Okay. (Sits back and resumes her reading.)
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Ross: (calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... (Walks away.)
Chandler: We are switching back, right now!
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Chandler: Good save! We're back on track, and I'm... (grimacing) ..chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking.
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
Rachel: Did-did you take these back?
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
(Another professor walks down from the back of the lecture hall.)
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
(They turn back to Rachel and Professor Rathman.)
Phoebe: No-no, itll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, Ill be sure to give him your shoe.
Phoebe: Umm, she said shed be back December 26th.
Phoebe: Fine! Here! Take a hike toots! (Gives back her quarter.)
The Porsche Owner: Im not coming back.
(Joey pulls his hand out and reverts back to intense pain.)
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Monica: All right, sorry. (Goes back to Rachels room.)
Chandler: Okay, give me a chance to win my money back. Okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
Rachel: Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back.
Chandler: Well, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? (Holds up a deck of cards.)
(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)
Ross: And now you want that money back.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
Ross: Put it back exactly where you found it?
Chandler: Yes I'm gonna put it back (Mocking Ross) exactly where I found it.
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Ross: Whoa, whoa, but then the back of the couch won't line up with he back of the carpet.
Chandler: Look, we have no time okay? We must focus. We gotta get everything back into its original place.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)