words in movies
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
Monica: But, I just cleaned the bathroom.
(Chandler opens the bathroom door to reveal Joey passed out on the toilet with a toothbrush in his mouth.)
Ross: I'm going to the bathroom. (Gets up and exits.)
Chandler: Okay, Ross is in the bathroom.
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
(Ross suddenly gets up and heads for the bathroom.)
(Rachel enters from the bathroom and sees the coat.)
(They both laugh as Ross heads back to the bathroom.)
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
Chandler: Yeah, well look at this kitchen, slash bathroom. Well that's great! Y'know so you can cook while in the tub.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Krista: (calling from the bathroom) Danny! Hurry up! The bath is getting cold!
Carol: (yelling from the bathroom) Oh my God!
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
Ross: Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Ross: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs, what's going on?
Rachel: Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. (Does so.)
[Cut to the bathroom, Chandler is entering.]
Monica: A-ha!!! (they all start laughing, as Ross hides in the bathroom)
Monica: Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Katie: Yeah, I just gotta run to the bathroom.
(She heads to the bathroom and Joey sits back down.)
[Cut to the bathroom.]
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Joey: No! No, you smell like a meadow. (Pause.) I'm sorry. (Runs to the bathroom.)
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Rach, a guy from Ralph Lauren called, you got a second interview!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
Chandler: It's okay, the duck's using our bathroom anyway. (Kathy goes into the bathroom.) Hey Joe! What are you getting Kathy for her birthday?
Ross: (from the bathroom) Okay!!
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey! Happy Anniversary!
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
Ross: (entering from the bathroom) Hey roomies!
(They both bounce back into the bathroom.)
(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. Hes just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell hes doing.)
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
The Woman Dealer: I don't know about the hands, but the guy that was here before me just went to the bathroom.
Joey: Right! Okay. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Joey: I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise. (He goes into the bathroom.)
[Monica exits to the bathroom.]
Joey: Im sure its a famous watering can, okay. But, come on and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
Monica: Okay, listen, there's still some of Chandler's medicine under the sink in the bathroom. Bye!
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
(As Joey goes to the bathroom, Corporate Phoebe enters. Shes wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase.)
Monica: (calling from the bathroom) Is someone there?
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! (Puts it out and comes out of the bathroom.) Im so glad youre here.
Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Rachel: Umm, can I use your bathroom?
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Rachel: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.
(She goes into the bathroom.)
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
[Scene: Phoebes hospital room, Joey and Ross enter as Phoebe comes out of the bathroom wearing her robe.]
(Rachel heads for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul and Rachel are getting ready to go out. Paul is entering from the bathroom.]
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Monica: And so, were hiding in the bathroom.
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom)
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?
Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, whered we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.)
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Chandler: Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?!
Monica: Yeah, in-in-in the bathroom.
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Here I am.
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
Chandler: How did you know? (Heads back into the bathroom)
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
(The phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel goes into the bathroom.)
(There are three short whistle blasts from the bathroom.)
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]